Classics Summarized: Paradise Lost

I gotta say, I've talked about a lot of nominal heroes in my time on the internet, but Lucifer's gotta be the nominal-est of them all.

The funniest part about this book is, it was supposed to be firmly anti-Satan. We were supposed to hear the lies Satan was telling about how things went down and despise him even more for making it sound believable. Unfortunately, all he did was make it sound believable, and the end result was that Satan became a sympathetic character for the first time in his life. Way to go, Milton; your propaganda backfired in the most hilarious of ways.

I'm told that Milton, who had become blind by the time he wrote this, dictated the entire text to his daughters. The presumed translations the text went through as a result *might* serve to help explain why Satan is presented so… sympathetically. *cough* sexy bad boy */cough*

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[awkwardukulele]

“His daughter sin, and his son/grandson Death”

*SWEET HELL ALABAMA*

[katiecat]

“YOU’RE NOT MY _REAL_ DAD”
“ *IM **_EVERYONE’S_** REAL DAD* ”

[pancakes]

Humans seeing the night sky: "Oh, wow, look at how beautiful that is. Thanks, God!"
Sexy Satan seeing the night sky: "Some idiot spilled glitter everywhere."

[Rinthony]

Lmao Frankenstein’s Creature really read this and went

[lejlamidzic]

Blue being both Jesus and Adam gives it a alright sound for the two of them, bbuutt
*Red as Satan mekes every thing he says perfect*

[Morathor]

"I'm the father of lies, he's not even wearing pants" is just. The best line. Top tier dialogue

[onyxtay]

The slides in this are beautiful. Kudos on that.
Satan -"You're not my real dad."
God - *"I'm everyone's real dad."*

[anarnarqelion]

Why is nobody commenting on the experated Mini-Red running around, trying to keep the video children appropriate? She's awesome!!!

[lilred_gold]

8:28- Saying “WHAT THE HERE” instead of saying “WHAT THE HELL” because he is already there, was oddly really funny to me!

[adriana]

the bill cipher voice you used for satan was *on point.*

[tomgeytenbeek]

Satan: "This time we're just gonna have to be sneakier!"

God, who literally knows anything that could come to pass and is beyond time and space:
"Hmmm."

[gwest]

“Pandemonium” literally means “all demons”, but I’m guessing that a conference hall full of fallen angels and pagan gods would also qualify for the other kind of pandemonium.

[erinw.]

This just reminds me of those two statues of Satan. The first was banned from the church it was made for because the priest thought it was too hot and would tempt the ladies of the church into sin and the one that replaced it was made by the sculptor’s brother and was equally sexy but more modest so it was kinda allowed. it's truly an amazing story.

[kamenkuma]

2:25 Lucifer: *Straight up falls from heaven*
Osiris: (welcoming) “Why hello there, Luce!”
Hades/ Pluto: (Confused) “Who the heck is he and why is he in the underworld?”
Set: *Looks up*




“Did someone just take my job?”

[myself]

Fun fact:
In the book of Genesis, early versions of the Bible don't quite refer to Satan's form in Eden as a snake. In fact, the word used is closer to "Leviathan". So instead of a cute little snake, take a minute to imagine Eve seeing a massive serpentine abomination talking to her, not thinking it's weird, actually listening to it, AND going along with what it says.

[alarmlessRifleman]

"Paradise Lost" is a goldmine for cartoonish comedy when explained like this. Why haven't anyone made it a thing yet?

[Gabriel-rdmj]

“I’m the father of lies, he’s not even wearing pants”

[givemeyamilk]

I’ve got a better intro, *ahem* “In the beginning the Universe was created.
This made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.”

[cdcopycat]

Satan and Jesus' relationship is like almost every sibling relationship there is XD

[jinx]

“Not helping Satan”
That really summarizes him in one sentence.