Desperado (Magic: The Gathering Parody)

Some Magic players deserve points for creativity.

LYRICS:

Decksperado
Why don’t you come to your senses?
You’ve been casting ascensions for so long now

Oh, you’re a hard one
But I know that you’ve got your reasons
But these decks that are pleasing you will hurt you somehow

Don’t you sleeve that Sundering Titan, boy
They’ll beat you if they’re able
The Primeval one is always your best bet

Now it seems to me some fine decks
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that just can’t win

Decksperado
No, you don’t want to do better
Or play something in the meta
You just go 0 and 8

It may be raining
But there’s a rainbow above you

You better stop assembling Kaldra
Stop assembling Kaldra
You better stop assembling Kaldra
Before it’s too late

Lyrics by Remy. Music tracks, background vocals, and mastering by Ben Karlstrom. Filmed on iPhone during quarantine.

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[ZakDraper]

“Mindslaver myself” is my favourite part.

[asthmaticdragon]

The thing to pay attention to here is how much the Decksperado is enjoying his time playing magic. The only time he stops smiling is when he is given a card that he doesn't want to play

[tieyourshoelaces]

Watching his smile fade after "I have a doom blade" felt so real holy shit.

[euanmacleod]

That pained look of apology from the opponent with the doom blade. We've all been that guy in that moment.

[jstohler]

It's rare that you see a work of utter genius that you can share with almost no one because you'd have to explain literally everything.

[arthurkeech]

But look how much fun that guy is having.

[mtgkenny]

It's all fun and games until your opponent assembles Electrostatic Pummeler + 69 Energy Counters

Decksperado...

[jonslashtroy]

"mono white door to nothingness"

holy crap that would be a sweet ride.

[fishman]

hey, this is the backstory for when the "I played everything" Remy played Marit Lage with Fling (man).

[TheAweDude]

"Well I don't actually win"

How many times have I said that?

[Soviniy]

As someone who usually builds decks by going "Oh, that card looks awesome! What do I put in with it??" and doesn't own all that many cards, I treasure all my fellow Decksperados.

[fireknight]

This day, Remy has made history as the first Magic player to go outside.

[MaulerMyers]

It's not about winning or losing.

It is about playing.

[Hyunkel]

Yup, that's totally me. No one in my LGS understands why I play "subpar" decks, but gosh dang I'm having fun casting nonsense !

[barthalen]

I cracked up at "Mindslaver... myself."

[smegmalasagna]

Besides the good sense of humor you can actually sing very well too.

[koenvandepoll]

The Kaldra part 😂
Someone, send this to Tomer from Mtg Goldfish next time he streams.

[milkyboy]

The best part is his disgusted face when he is handed a Primeival Titan

[PenguinJack]

The 20 dislikes are the people who got smoked by the sweet 8-card combo

[flaetsbnort]

My favourite thing about Kaldra is that in the Mirrodin novel, as soon as it gets summoned, the bad guy casts a spell to take control of it.

Which is quite realistic