5 Harsh Truths About Men I'd Share If You Were My Daughter | Dating Advice for Women

Mat Boggs shares dating advice for women and how to look for green flags when dating.

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Mat Boggs Bio:
Mat has helped millions of people around the world attract love and develop fulfilling relationships. He’s also the founder of a revolutionary system of attracting love called Manifest Your Man.
In addition to running a highly successful coaching business, Mat is also the co-author of the best-selling Project Everlasting, which received a major, six-figure advance from Simon and Schuster publications.
Mat has been featured on CNN, Oprah & Friends, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and many other media outlets, as well as shared the stage with some of the industry’s biggest names, including; John Gray, Jack Canfield, Les Brown, Bob Proctor and Brendon Burchard, and more.

#dating #adviceforwomen #relashionship #relationshipcoach #datingcoach #understandingman #understanding #howmenthink #whatmenthink #howtoattractaspecificpersonintoyourlife #lastinglove

[SheilaDriscoll-jk]

The hardest lesson I have learned is: “You didn’t break him, so don’t fix him!”

[MariamSabaArt]

Thanks Mat! Some harsh truths I've learned.
1. Just because he loves you, doesn't mean he respects you.
2. Just because he wants to be a good guy doesn't mean he is a good guy.
3. He may want to make you happy, but if he can't see, hear or know you - if he can't attune to you - he doesn't actually have the skills to contribute to your happiness.
4. A man who can't be accountable for his actions, who can't take responsibility, will unwittingly cause you pain to avoid his own.
5. A man who hurts himself will hurt you the same way once he views you as family.
Peace and Love. 💜

[rayshon]

Just because he admits his flaws and says he needs to change, doesn't mean he will do it--and don't think you will be the inspiration that motivates the improvement, it must begin within him.

[FullMoonHowl]

One I've learned: do encourage them as a man, but DON'T be so eager to prove your potential as a wife that you over-accommodate them in advance. Part of a man's thrill of the chase involves them having to prove themselves to you, first. Making it TOO easy invites passive men who, once tough times hit, see stepping up as your job only.

[jeanettehigginbotham]

Additional truth: Don't be a collector of red flags ... you only need one.

[Mayfloweralways]

I can say that for me, all of this was true. The talk when i grew up was that the third date was the sex date and i was taught by friends to just be “the cool girl.” Don’t be a drag. That got me used and neglected and cheated on. When i realized all the things in this video, it changed my entire romantic life. I held hard to a standard- even if meant losing him. And i was scared. But i just kept telling myself that if he was meant for me, he will care about what i need. We never argued. I just didn’t let anything slide. And today i’m in such a wonderful relationship. I think it also helps the good men to know that they can trust us. We’re able to say no to temptation because of values. We are not one to give in and thats because our moral code says no. Guys worry about being cheated on as well. I feel it makes both in the relationship stronger and easier to commit to. Hold that standard.

[Michael-vccs]

Excellent video!

As a guy who doesn’t have kids yet but has watched multiple women ruin their lives, I would add a few.
If a man is truly in love with you he will want to get married sooner rather than later. If he’s a good man he will have to discipline himself to lengthen his timeline in order to fully vet the relationship. So if a guy dates you for forever and a day, then calls for a long engagement, it’s probably not right.
He brought up a similar point in the video but I’ll say it a little differently. When you’re a young woman you have the maximum attention from men, good and bad ones. If you think sleeping with a man, playing marriage and living together for years is going to make him want to commit you’re sorely mistaken and you’re wasting your youth. So when you’re young you should say no to most of the guys who approach you. The good man will be persistent because he wants you for more than your looks. Physical attraction is very important but the ladies should definitely make sure he wants you for more than just sex. The only way to do this is to abstain from premarital relations and see who sticks around. The dogs will move on. Your highest likelihood of finding the man you really want is when you’re young. If you’re constantly in a relationship, good men will pass you by because we’re not home wreckers.
Lastly, men don’t have many icks if they are physically attracted to you. However, it is extremely difficult to get past the idea that the woman you love has slept with multiple other men! Many women will gaslight men and say this is a confidence issue. It is not. I refuse to condescend to women about their icks and preferences in men. So I would appreciate the same respect in turn. If you decide to sleep around with a bunch of other men, you will become less attractive to your future husband. Think about all the insecurities you have ladies. Imagine those magnified 100 fold in your mind day after day… This is what it’s like trying to pursue a relationship with a woman who’s had multiple sexual partners before you as a man. Don’t do it! Save yourself for the man who truly deserves you.

[ruechang]

I think the hard part is when you're so deep in love with the wrong person, all those red flags seem like nothing to you. You think that nobody understands you because they don't see him/her the way you do. I learned it the hard way. You gotta love and respect yourself enough to step out of an unhealthy relationship/situation, instead of sacrificing your mental health again and again until you're completely heartbroken.

[kristalynncreates]

Harsh truth.. If it seems too good to be true, still take your time before becoming too invested. It might not be too good to be true.. but it also might be. Time is still needed to determine the integrity of any individual.

[annaholden]

Hard truth : You can follow all the "rules and tips" for a successful relationship...
If and/or when the other partner has no desire to grow with the relationship as a couple and united team.. able to engage in respectful, difficult conversations...
There is NOTHING you can do to save a relationship for the both of you.
✌️

[Jan-qvku]

Don’t chase people who ghost you/leave you.
Hold relationships with open arms.
If they do something once, they’ll definitely do it again!
They will definitely repeat any abusive behavior.
They might feel bad or act like they feel bad about it afterwards- But that Will Not Prevent them from doing it again and again.
People Can change, but they usually do Not change.

[AlPal]

I learned a tough lesson: someone can be an amazing friend—even like a best friend—but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be a good partner. I fell hard for a close friend of mine and was thrilled when he felt the same way. But once we started dating, I realized that his idea of a romantic relationship was very different from mine. He didn’t feel the need to talk more than a few times a week, didn’t care to plan special dates or events, and even admitted that his dislike of giving gifts (though he liked receiving them) wouldn’t change, even in a relationship. I knew that staying in a romantic relationship with him any longer would only lead to resentment. While it’s hard to be friends right now because the wound is still fresh, I do believe that one day we’ll be able to be buddies again.

Thank you, Mat, for all of your amazing advice. <3

[beacon]

What a blessing to talk with your daughters about this. So many parents when asked, “How will I know when I’ve met the one? “ Will reply “You’ll just know.” End of conversation. I would also add that many men will be attracted to a woman simply because of beauty, so women need to be reminded that she gets to choose.

[hollywisconsin]

this 5:37 mark is such a true statement! "A commitment should be the celebration of the quality
of the relationship you've ALREADY created, not a criteria that drives some change you want to see
in the relationship." Thank you so much for this information!

[YM-wjdr]

On point number 1,
Don't ever think, "He won't like me if I don't sleep with him." Chances are, the opposite is true.

[Mademoiselle-gs]

The biggest harsh truth is: love is not enough, you gotta actually Like each other if you want the relationship to survive.

[tiffanywarren]

I think a harsh truth that comes from when you haven't started developing yourself is your intuition is typically right! I have a friend who wants her relationship to work so badly that she's ignoring ALL of the signs. It's damaging. We've all been there, but love yourself more than keeping your head in LaLa Land.

[genieharden]

So true about needing self esteem. I didn't even know what a red flag was. If ANYONE seemed to want me, that was a miracle right there. I didn't set standards because I assumed I didn't deserve the treatment I wanted, so we endured a 20 year relationship. Sadly, I'll have probably passed down some sad dynamics to our beautiful daughter. Now I don't think my husband is a terrible man, and in fact, I still love him, but I'm so glad we're splitting up.

[beautylife]

I read this from somewhere, "Whether you like each other, or compatible with each other, or can really stay together (for a relationship), are three different things." after I learned this, I became much more chilled for the whole thing....

[katemiller]

Those were the kindest harsh truths I’ve ever heard in my life. I was wincing going into this video, but came out feeling so good. So respectfully delivered. Thanks Mat 🙂