We Made a Vodka Expert Blind Taste Test Bottom-Shelf Vodka

Cheap vodkas are not all created equal. Or at least, that’s what we learned when we made our spirits writer Jason Horn blind taste five different vodkas available for under $12: Smirnoff, Svedka, UV, Popov, and Pinnacle. Watch Jason suffer through each taste test to learn which bottom-shelf vodka came out on top.

[quintenlizardmen]

I was a "vodka expert" who specialized in the cheapest stuff for five years. I studied everyday. I got my degree in sleeping on the floor and pissing my pants.

[oggeenock]

Him drinking vodka: Herbal, almost a little bit of a savory quality


Me drinking vodka: *Mmmhhmmm hand sanitizer*

[ShinyRedGrapple]

I liked Grey Goose back in the day. The herbal notes and mouth feel when vomiting it back up into a drunk tank toilet were subtle yet sweet.

[MasterBeighter]

Vodka taste testers:
"Yeah that's the most vile tasting, borderline toxic drink I've ever had the displeasure of sipping on... not bad I'd give it a 9/10"

[maxfison]

You know, I’m somewhat of a professional alcoholic myself

[Consul]

"It tastes like water, it's flavourless, odorless, basically nothing."
*A+*

[tavv]

Its been 5 years. Im still drinking it 10/10 recommend. The only down side is that I lost my wife and kids and my home and my job, i cut some ties from differences, But On a positive side is that I’m on top of a hill enjoying the view with a gallon of Popov. This guy knows his stuff. Hopefully one day my family knows whats good vodka.

[peterbear]

I remember Mythbusters testing this, and determining that it’s almost impossible for anyone, expert or not, to blind-judge vodka. And Alton Brown later said that the difference between $20 vodka and $60 vodka is… $40 worth of bottle.

[johnsmithwatson]

The Man called himself "professional alcoholic". Absolutely legend.

[austen]

Him: “vodka shouldn’t burn going down”
Me: what the fuck have I been drinking

[NicoleCtirad]

I could remember several years ago I was addicted to alcohol. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[EgorKlenov]

I didn't get it why Popov got A- and Smirnoff got C-, while both being described in pretty much the same way.

[advocateforaimassist]

Driving while drunk: “Gets pulled over”

Jason: “Shows professional alcoholic card”

Officer: Good day sir.

[fuckologic]

"Vodka Expert" is a big word

I just call my uncles by their first name

[bobbybobwellington]

"little bit of citrus, little bit of apple"

The only thing I taste when tasting vodka is pain

I don't understand how you could taste anything else besides ethanol when drinking any type of vodka

[selkiemaine]

The worst vodka I ever had was a local high end micro-distillery. Tasted like melted plastic bags. My friend worked there and was so proud. I didn't have the heart to tell her.

[raghavsagar]

The way he greets the vodka bottles is how I greet my old friends.

[firebirdude]

"No taste. The law of what vodka should be.... I give it a C."

[burnindownthehouse]

I tried Grey Goose again recently. Second time around after many years of alcoholism. I seriously thought that it tasted about the same quality as Popov. I took about 52 shots and absolutely could not tell the difference.

[carloscosta]

This is what you call "bottom-shelf vodka"? my friends you're living the high life!