Losing a dog is like losing a family member

Why does losing a dog feel like losing a family member? The way we attach to dogs is similar to the way we attach to humans. The challenge is to mourn the loss of a dog the same way we mourn the loss of a human. I try to do that here by remembering Mwaji.

Topics discussed:
* Mourning the loss of a dog
* Disenfranchised grief
* Attachment to dogs
* Bereavement

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THE PSYCH SHOW! Creating mental health videos that educate, entertain, and empower! Produced, written, and edited by clinical psychologist Ali Mattu, Ph.D. All videos are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute clinical advice.

If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
- go to your nearest hospital emergency room

[sandrasam]

❤sorry for your loss, we had to say goodbye to our fur baby recently, listening to you has helped. The grief is REAL! 😢

[amyexner]

I lost my little Prince Louie -toy poodle —5 week ago….im crying every day and can’t stop…I miss him so so much.

[valcooke]

Thank you for validating the intense pain of losing someone who meant so much. Just last week we made the gut wrenching decision to spare our dog, Pooh the pain and suffering he was going through from dementia and terrible arthritis and neurological issues. Hardest decision of my life, so far anyway! No one asked when my brother died if I would get another one. I have another dog. I also have another brother. Though I love and adore them, the fact that I still have them does nothing to diminish the pain of losing the ones that are gone. They were both irreplaceable loved ones who will be missed forever.

[honeybear]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and raw emotions regarding pet loss 🤗 My sweet 12 yr old bunny passed a few days ago. He was the last survivor and sole companion that helped me get through the death of my husband and my other bunny that passed at the same time. It really bothers me how many people so easily dismiss my loss(s). The only thing that keeps me from feeling completely alone in my grief is the many spirit dream visitations and signs that I have received from my husband and our pets ❤️

[leannemcmurray]

I feel this horrific grief after losing my 14 year old Maltese Shitzu a month ago tomorrow. I actually lost my father earlier this year but nothing feels as painful as losing my baby dog. Every thing I do - i think of her. Every step i take - I can see her standing there. She looked very much like Maji.

[Kitty-JuneOhSixJanTwentyFour]

Losing a pet is not "like" losing a family member. It just "IS" losing an immediate family member. Whether other people understands it, or not, does not matter. And the longer you have lived together, the more devastating losing them becomes. My condolences.

[benbuley]

Last night I lost my dog, Max. He was 12 years old and in 4 months would have been 13. This video really did help me feel not alone during my grieving process. Thank you so much

[darrensayas]

Thank you for making this video. When my cat passed away a few years ago, my friends and family made my insufferable grief feel invalidated. Your video brought some peace to mind: pets really are family and it's perfectly normal to mourn for them.

[janiew]

Going through that grief right now. Our beloved Coco passed away very suddenly. I found her on the floor, shaking as if she were having a seizure, and gasping for breath. This just happened a couple of weeks ago. Our hearts are completely broken. She was the greatest dog we have ever owned. She was our child, since we are empty nesters. I'm sorry for your loss. Listening to your story and your feeling of grief was like you knew my story, too. Thanks for sharing. It made me feel less alone to know someone truly understands.

[wade_says]

We had to put our cattle dog down recently. I got him in 2012 at 2 months old. He was about to be 11. But suffered from seizures every few months. Was developing neurological issues so hind legs wouldn’t work right. Enlarged heart as well. He lived a long happy life and was smart and obedient. He was the best. But we look forward to getting another dog when we are ready. Have a baby on the way as well.

[cubefarmerhkc]

Lost my do last week. I’m a 42 year old 200 pound man, and I cried for 2 days. No shame in grieving for your fur babies. I miss her more than I can stand.

[drali]

If you are struggling with the loss of a dog, please look at the resources in the description to this video.

[jeannerosen]

My Beloved dog Forest died in February 2023. I am so grief stricken. Thanks for this video sharing your grief. It helped me to feel less crazy and alone.

[strandednseattle]

In a strange way it makes it even harder when you've seen combat and you loose an animal. You've seen people who are less deserving to be on this planet than your dog but your dog is given such a short time here on earth. We had to put my service dog down and it nearly killed me. My heart genuinely goes out to you and your friends over the loss of your beloved fury friend. All dogs go to heaven 😭

[bellablueheadlam]

I lost my best friend Brooklyn on May 8, 2023 and he was the best dog ever. I cry several times a day and I lack sleep. It is hard to come home after work to an empty apartment. I am employed in the mental health field as well. We need to support our friends, family members and colleagues who have said goodbye to their pets. Companies need to include time off for employees when their trusted pet has died.

[schisomors]

My dog died in 2016, a month after my sixteenth birthday and three monthss before his eighteenth birthday. He was older than me but younger than my sister and my family and I often joked that he was the middle child, my older brother. It truly felt that way.
With his age his health obviously started getting worse and we've been trying to ready ourselves for his death for years prior to it. He finally got a fairly harmless stomach virus but because of his age it really got to him. He had trouble simply walking, he couldn't sometimes even get up by himself.
We always spent so much money on him - the vet, items, food, medicine - because he was part of our family. We obviously tried our best to get him back to health but he was too old to survive this. So we decided to put him down because we knew just in how much pain he was even if he tried to hide it and keep on wagging his tail.
I'm a person that doesn't really cry - it's not that I hold the tears in, I just simply don't react so strongly to negative emotions and I usually physically can't get out more than two tears. I never cried so much and so hard as in the moment our dad came back without him and telling us that he's resting now. I didn't even cry at any of the funerals of my other family members but after our dog's death I was crying nonstop for three days straight. I'm close to crying again as I'm typing this and I have cried many times before whenever I thought about him too much or had a dream with him in it.
I think that it hit me so hard since he was the closest *person* in my life that I had left. My family could never give me the same level of comfort as he did and I never had any friends in real life ever since after we moved cities.
People that never had pets or never had a strong connection with them can't understand what it's like when you're mourning the death of yours. They think it's so easy to just replace them or that all they were was a teddy bear that you had to feed and clean after. I never had the chance to properly deal with my grief which is probably why I'm still so emotional and sensitive to the topic.
I can still remember the day when we put him down, just a few hours before that, he was laying on the carpet in my room while facing the mirror. He opened his eyes, looked up and saw my reflection and weakly wagged his tail. He was so happy to see me there with him, he loved me so much and I loved him equally as much back.


I hope you, your wife and your friends can mourn Mwaji's death in peace and comfort and I hope you get better.

[wynniiiet]

I just came across your video. Thank you for the raw emotions and your heart felt love for Mawji. I just lost my dog of 14.5 years to a heart murmur and a failing liver because of the meds….he had a special diet which I cooked, had supplements and was as holistic as I possibly could be. The last 2-3 years were difficult as I was in denial…and had to muster up my strength to be there for him. He passed on May 2, 2023 in my home. This is what I wished for and he gave it to me….I cry everyday now especially in the mornings and at night. I am heavy in bereavement and wonder how long it will last….he was my baby in this lifetime for sure! 💕🐶💕

[ezanswer]

Put my dog down today. Looking for videos tonight to help me heal. I love your other videos and was so happy to watch this one. Thank you for your all in the same boat here, aren’t we? Much love to you, brother.

[emmyvilla]

I always heard that it's harder to lose an animal we love than a person because pets are givers of unconditional love. My husband and I lost our sweet kitty cat little bit after our daughter was born. My husband got hit with it way harder than me. It helped him navigate some repressed emotions of his grandmother who had passed earlier that year. We still in some ways grieve our Sterling and talk of him fondly. I hope your hearts are get some healing ❤️

[jamescaspersamanthalintner]

Brother I just lost my lady... 7 years together and today she was hit by a truck. My god my heart is broken... Thank you for sharing this. When people say dogs or cats don't have a soul... I can tell you that they do I saw the lights go out in her eyes... It was like her spirit left. We will see them again I believe...