Why Children Aren't Believed: Reporting Child Sexual Abuse

Organizations always promote education so that parents, mandatory reporters, and children will know when to report child sexual abuse. But when the child reports their abuse, they aren’t believed. Organizations are missing the most important sign that a child is being abused. Watch this video to find out what that is, and why most people ignore it.

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I’m Paula from “Defend Survivors,” an activist blog we started a few years ago that was inspired by a speech my daughter, Sarah, wrote about her experiences with child sexual abuse and the justice system.

Defend Survivors is dedicated to speaking out, raising awareness, and fighting so that every child that reports abuse is believed, protected, and defended.

As Sarah said in one of her speeches, “This is the way it is. This is not the way it must remain.”

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Trigger Warning: On this channel, we will be discussing the realities and effects of child abuse, domestic violence, and trauma. *NOTE* This channel is for educational purposes only. If you need professional help, please seek local services.

[Kelly-oekr]

I reported the abuse to the police and was sent home because there weren’t any detectives in town to take a statement. I had to go back the next day where a male detective said to me, “it’s not up to me to decide if you’re lying or not”. Shouldn’t he have said ‘it’s not up to me to decide if you’re telling the TRUTH or not?’ I wasn’t believed by police or anyone else for that matter, even though the offender was a career criminal who was known to police state-wide, a heroin addicted drug dealer, and a proven compulsive/pathological liar. Seriously people look at the breathtaking prevalence of childhood sexual abuse, victims should automatically be believed.

[MollySkyeBrown]

I was never believed and am still treated as the lying black sheep.

[sc]

I believed my children, but no one else did. The system is worthless when it comes to child sexual abuse.

[shragilevy]

I had it real bad. A, I’m a boy, not a girl, which for some reason, makes it much less believable. And B, I grew up in a extreme ultra orthodox Jewish community, I left at age 15, but that was 15 years too many. There, they not only don’t support kids who come forward, they deny it’s even a thing. It’s not possible, they say. And when I finally did have evidence, All they said was, “oh, it was so long ago, stop living the past” or “your ruining his reputation.” No, he ruined his own reputation the moment he decided to touch me. I was publicly shamed, forced to be in the same room with him countless times, and then 4 month later, he became my teacher for a year. A living hell.
Something I saw with at least 12 of my classmates when they went to the justice system (outside of the community, school, and parents, who do anything to make sure it doesn’t reach that point…)A victim comes forward, and they need 173 pictures, 93 videos, and 72 witnesses in order to start an investigation. The abuser says “I didn’t do it”, and they are immediately believed. My only response to this epidemic is”WHAT THE

[amelie-ghij]

I'll never forget how desperately I screamed for help, reaching out to anyone I thought could support me. When I was 15, and after 3 years of abuse I went to my school counselor, who, without my permission or even a heads-up, told my teacher about my situation. I was failing miserably at school, with the lowest grades in my class. On the day grades were handed out, my mom came to school, and my teacher told her right in front of me that I was just making up stories to cover up my poor performance to my counselor. When I got home, I tried to talk to my parents about it, but my dad dismissed it, saying, "They couldn't have done that; you must be making it up." I kept everything inside and went through my pain alone for nine years. Just a couple of months ago, I felt I needed to open up again and told my mom. This time, she actually listened—she cried with me, we hugged, and we talked about it. Even though I don’t blame them, it was a huge deal for me, and dealing with it alone as a 12-year-old was incredibly tough.

[bearwitme]

I'm currently going through this and I love and appreciate what you wrote ❤

[saramasson]

I was never believed by my parents.. I was and to this day am still being gaslighted into thinking I had some kind of memory issue and that the sexual abuse never happened... Saying I made the whole thing up... I was not believed by my own parents or my siblings... even by my own sister who herself was abused as well... I feel so alone...

[ot]

I came out yesterday to my mother and sister telling that now I do fin ally remember EVERYTHING that was done to me since the b ginning. THEY BOTH CALLED ME A LIAR AND SHUT DOWN. My mother apparently denied everything altogether even though She was the one who discovered my father ]sexually abused me from age 2 to age 4. She only discovered it by the end. Never sought help, and subjugated me to the worst physical absue and emotional abuses ever for the following eighteen years straight. She called me a a disgrace, wished me cancer, told me for years I was born to destroy, and accused me, aged 4, of making her fight with her husband.
I finally recalled everything, every disgusting detail after years of strange incomplete flashbacks and nightmares. Strangely, a BIG part of me was NOT ready to face not only mother's full denial but my sister's support and anger against me. Telling Me: "Don't you ever contact us again unless you begin your message with 'Please forgive me, I need help I am 'sick!" 
I blocked them both. We live in different nations, yet it hurts like crazy. My sister's anger and denial really caught me off guard. I was straight up guilty, and a liar from the start. Not even a second to at least give me the doubt of my innocence. Nothing.

[Moemrob]

Im 67. My family still claims that they didn't abuse us all or kill my siblings. They blame us. As the oldest, it doesn't bother me anymore. My roll is to speak up for family members who didn't make it.
Not being believed used to be more painful than the abuse.
Now, i pray for their ignorance and oblivious nature to be changed.
All i can control is myself.
They cannot hurt me anymore.