I’m Back After Autistic Burnout: Did My Strategy Work?

After a much-needed 4-month break, I’m back! What is it like after autistic burnout? In this video, we will discuss the importance of taking a break while exploring the types and causes of burnout. I will also share the crucial elements that make a good burnout recovery strategy and how to maintain it. So let's talk about finding balance, finding or reconnecting with your purpose, and the Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down approaches. Did these things work?

🎞️Timestamps:

0:00 Introduction
1:14 Why did I take a break?
2:20 Types of Burnout
4:45 Causes of Burnout
5:04 The relationship between a Classic Executive Function Task and Autistic Burnout
7:13 What burnout feels like and why it’s unsustainable
7:33 What is the solution to burnout?
7:48 How much time do you need to recover from burnout?
12:40 The crucial factors of my strategy
12:45 What was the result?
13:50 The importance of Balance
16:40 A Sense of Purpose
17:23 The Bottom-Up Approach and the Top-Down Approach
17:58 My Conclusion and what I realised
18:48 Everyone’s Journey is Different

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👋Welcome to Autism From The Inside!!!

If you're autistic or think you or someone you love might be on the autism spectrum, this channel is for you!
I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.

Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.

Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.

Join me as I share what I've found along my journey, so you don't have to learn it the hard way.

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Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy my channel!

Peace,

~ Paul

#autism #asd #autismawareness

[minxiv]

My husband goes through this as well. He has Asperger’s and gets burned out and needs to check out for a while. It’s why we have a second bedroom for him to have his own controlled environment. It’s ok to take a break and regroup ❤

[AmberDawnHilton]

I am noticing that I am at a dangerous point in a burnout that has been building for over a year. I am not in a position to take the time I need and I am really concerned about what this will do to me. In the past my burnouts take a year or more to recover. I had one take two years to recover my energy. My burnout is a result of working two jobs and three side hustles and I am still not making enough to cover my basic needs. I really need to find the time and energy to get an official diagnosis and to apply for permanent disability. I don’t think I am
going to have the ability to work anymore but I still need to have food and shelter. I am happy that you got such great time, and I desperately hope I can find a way to recover and to continue to have my basic needs met. Thanks for sharing.

[lrwiersum]

You are helping me survive right now. Major crash and burn, kids are mad and things may never be the same. Understanding helps so much. Thanks. Anxiety hitting in MASSIVE waves.

[stevetuckey]

I have ADHD and after 3 years of fighting and recovering from illness some work drama flattened me. I've had 4 months off and start a new job next week. It took two months of sleeping extra before I even started to feel rested. In the subsequent two months I did a lot of similar activities to Paul but top priority was sleep, exercise and diet. I finally feel back to normal and healthier than I have been in years.

[erikaatkinson]

The fatigue and brain fog is so similar to what I experience with fibromyalgia. 😩
I LOVE your "top down" idea; the "if I can only accomplish one thing today, what will that be?" Very, very useful!

[jasonuren]

Focus on completing the one most important task for that day works for me (most of the time!) Anything else is a bonus. Great advice. Good to see you back, and thanks for highlighting the importance of self care.

[laurens]

I'm just starting to come out of a 3 month burnout period. I was taking 2 naps a day. Im adhd and autistic. Great video. Really helpful.

[corinnalink]

Hi Paul, thank you so much for your video. I have been trying to explain this problem/process to my psychiatrist(s) for the past 5 years, but I could never put it in words in a way that they would actually understand my situation. It is truly terrible when you seek help from a professional and know they don't understand you, get dismissed as too dependent, stubborn, at fault on the situation or just unwilling to make changes. But worst of all, is knowing that you are actually dependent on this person to further write you off work, because working is not an option at the moment.

Another point that is mentioned far too seldom, is the pressure of being a parent. I don't have a chance to take the breaks that I need, because I have to function for my children.
In addition I have to battle against the system, to make sure they get the support that they need. (Both are on the Spectrum plus ADHD)

And letting them down, just isn't an option.

[BLKDOLPHNDK]

Welcome back thanks for the update. I’m having a down autism day and this video came to me as a gift from the universe

[Respectable_Username]

14:46 _This_ is why I find one-on-one conversations stressful but _love_ hanging out in small groups. So much less pressure in small groups to perform.

[kensears]

This is all extremely relatable, echoes so much of my life experience. Especially the part about "executive function, " a phrase new to me. But the moment you described it, and especially how at times that "part" goes into shutdown (to me it's like a stubborn infant within with crossed arms and a pout refusing to do anything else: no, I'm NOT making a single more decision, not what to make for supper, not when to get a haircut, not what e-mail to answer, NOTHING--and no matter what guilt-trips you try to ply it with about responsibility and urgency and "what will others think?" it doesn't budge). Another side to this, though: in the past 19 months I discovered what it means when extraordinary crisis/catastrophe kicks your "executive function" part into hyperdrive to the exclusion of all else, and I mean ALL else. I'm talking about the war in Ukraine, and without going into details it will sufice to say that it immediately impacted my life and the lives of my nearest and dearest and entailed total life-changes, relocation, loss of home, possessions, work, etc. In short, the "refugee" experience. For me as an American I was relatively "lucky, " with freedom, flexibility and options others close to me did not enjoy. But my entire life was consumed for a year or so with being with them, traveling through this together, scrambling to find the way forward. What I found was, virtually everything inside me shut down EXCEPT executive function, 24/7. The best way I can describe it is, you know what the day before a major long-distance trip is like, with all the scrambling to make sure you've packed everything, you've got all your documents, you've made all the arrangements for your absence (stop the mail, unplug appliances, leave instructions for the dogsitter, etc.), check and double-check all your documents, reservations, departure times, etc.? There's no time of course on a day like that for zone-out or special hobbies or a brisk walk "alone" in the mall or a conceptual/creative mental journey, and you know that and that's fine because it's only one day. Imagine a year where every day is that. That's what catastrophe did, kickstarting me into a solid year of adrenalin-drenched scramble at a life-or-death pitch. In the process I lost 30 pounds, naturally. At the "end" of it all (the "end" meaning a relative settling of my loved ones' situations, though of course the war, and trauma, continue), I came barrelling headlong into the worlds-changing discovery of my ASD status, and it could not have come at a better time. It not only made sense of a 65-year-old life on infinitely interfolded layers, but it also was, weirdly, a kind of reward after the year of trauma, a place of sense-making rest and recovery--recovery, as it were, of a whole life up to the trauma of war, a place of restorative reconnoiter that made my whole past somehow new and "fresh, " because of meaning that RESOLVES things, and thus, of course, an amazingly new "intelligent" position from which to venture on. It is an internal integration of stratospheric proportions.

[s.b]

Paul, Im speechless. My journey is So similar to yours (heck, I even had dreadlocks in my early 20's for similar reasons as you had them).
I'm late diagnosed autistic and I'm working as a PhD student in science. I've been on 100% sick leave for almost 1 year because of exactly what you mentioned in this video: My battery has gradually been depleted over the years and now it never exceeds 20% before going back on low.

But this year I've had the opportunity to try what works for me during my paid sick leave. I come from Sweden but live in Norway. While Norway has a great social system overall, I've been waiting for help from the Habilitation for almost a year because of long wait-lists. And no luck for other help finding strategies despite trying to reach out to doctors and psychologists. They denied me because of their lack in experience with autism...and their default action was just to prescribe more sick leave while waiting for the habilitation to offer me the first appointments.

So I had to do the journey all alone which was not easy, and I even slipped back into depression for a while. But I did some experimenting, like you did.
I tried resting - this worked in the initial stages of burnout. I tried visiting my family over the summer and did fun activities with them - that helped! I visited new places (in nature) alone and activated my curiosity to explore - this helped! I started making new plans and dreaming of a new future - not with my science carreer as a main goal as it was before, but instead buying an old, traditional cottage home in the countryside and growing food in a garden...with a goal of a calmer job, maybe at a museum - This is what almost helped me the most because it is working towards havinga sustainable goal in the future.

Im now test-working with practical, stress-free tasks at the museum where I am employed with all my PhD work on hold. I can handle working about 3-4 hours/day with cataloguing the museum collections - this helps very much, and I learn what works and what doesnt at work. But my available sick-leave time is soon spent and I need to make a plan for life ahead. I likely have to move back to Sweden, not sure about if I can find a suitable job for my capacity.

So this is where Im at now, watching your video. I'm wondering if the burnout somehow is a sign that we are not living life as our brains are naturally built to work, as autistics.
The symptoms seem somewhat psychosomatic, because when I do things "my way" with full freedom I have much more capacity and can actually rest better. The physical brain fatigue symptoms are very real. Maybe we can't expect to work as other people do? Maybe I cant work 100% at a conventional work place? Your videos Really helps me with new insights and confirming what I have found as well. It feels good to have a kindered soul that goes through something similar. You are the only person with a similar autistic experience to my own that I know of.
So...a huge thank you. Love following your journey, and I wish you a year with a fuller battery. Huge props for being resilient, curious and always trying new things for the better of your health and the community!

[trishrogeranderson]

So good to see you back, Paul. I could tell you are feeling better before you spoke...your face looks more alert but nice and relaxed. Glad to hear about your experience in recovery from burnout. Thanks.

[tris]

I have been swimming a couple of times a week for the last couple of months. When I think about it, my favorite part about it is having a specific task to complete Monday, Wednesday, or Friday each week. I don't have a gym buddy or anything, so I don't have to worry about letting anyone down if I don't want to go, and I don't have any external pressures forcing me to go. I know the names of a few of the staff members, but don't feel obligated to hold a conversation with anyone. I simply get to go to and exist in a space with other people, focusing on the little goals I make for myself each week. I have rituals for getting ready for the gym, for how I store my clothing, for how I progress through my workout, for showering and dressing afterwards, and for unpacking my gear when I get home. They're little things that don't matter or register to anyone else, but I look forward to them. I put a lot of thought into developing the habit, and now I have these 40-50 minute windows of time where I don't have to make decisions - I just pick up my bag and follow the path, and just enjoy being in my body. I feel like I hacked adult parallel play.

[corcorsma]

(Asperger's 36 male here.) It's so hard for me to imagine being away from home would help solve the problem you describe (you mentioned multiple countries far away from your home). It's never been easy for me to be away from home. While I enjoy seeing new things during the holidays, I don't like being away. Everything is different! Very high tension levels. I thought solo travelling would help, so I could totally do my own things, but it just made me feel more lonely. I'm not sure if I want to travel again anytime soon. I'm also suffering from extreme tiredness for the first time alive and I have NO idea why. Not able to work, I'm in a bad space. My savings are rapidly decreasing. I'm happy during about half of the hours of the day though. But I can't go on like this, not keeping up with my own tasks and simultaneously needing + wanting to get back to a paid job.

[SILVIATHEGIRLS]

I feel exactly the same, but I also have ADHD, so maybe it is a little different for me. I relate very much when Paul says about recharging while being part of a social group. I love to enjoy people's company without having to participate ! Instead the 1 to 1 is so much more draining for me. Also when I will have a partner, hopefully one day soon, I would like to have each our own bedrooms. For me, having my own space it is important to be able to fully recharge my batteries. It was lovely meeting you Paul when you were in the UK! I will always have a great memory of you 🤗 thanks !

[ragathnor]

I haven't ever had the luxury of taking more than the slotted 2 weeks off from work. And with little ones and a sickly husband, well, I just couldn't stop. Kids are now grown ( same amount of stress btw), husband deceased, and can now rest and pace myself. My job now requires that I interact more with humans so...yeah...heading for a crash.

[Garrett.]

Thank you. I started watching your vids about 3 years ago and I just got my diagnosis today at 44 years old. If it wasn’t for the YouTube autism community, I would have never figured it out.

[cory]

I came to the exact same top down approach after being pushed to a new burnout limit. It was literally all I could do, and the realization that its enough is what has helped me. There are too many variables to keep track of right now so I can abandon everything except maybe 3 things and one of those being something that adds value / builds my future.

[barrielynn]

You look so much more relaxed! Welcome back. And thank you for what you do on your channel. Perfect timing for this video. I’m going through the same. Always tired, craving alone time (like completely alone in the house, I can’t relax when anyone else is home) difficulty with food and clothing choices, etc. I’ve had blood tests on the advice of my husband, and no, I’m not dying but this exhaustion persists. What I know I really need is a hard recharge of my social battery. I know women on the spectrum have different needs than men. That might explain why my social needs are quite the opposite of what you described. I thrive in one on one conversations where we are discussing an interesting topic. I cringe and want to run away from small to medium sized social gatherings with an intolerable amount of small talk. In fact, nothing exhausts me more. Small talk to me feels like an uncomfortable interrogation and I feel my honest responses accentuate my neurodivergence and make me feel self conscious. When I’m in a group, I feel that people detect that there is something different about me because I’m not participating “normally” and my facial expressions aren’t like everyone else’s. It causes people to interrogate me and dig deeper to see if they can figure me out. I never feel that I have the freedom to hang out on the perimeter of a social gathering and participate when I choose as you have described. The pressure I feel to interact “normally” is very strong. I also have zero ability to filter out background conversations so if someone at a gathering engages me in a private conversation, I cannot focus because the other conversations are interfering with my ability to focus. As a woman, my interactions with other women are usually more exhausting than my interactions with men. I think it’s because interacting with neurotypical women accentuates my social oddness by comparison. I don’t feel as harshly judged by men if my eye contact is weak or if I’m unmasked. Any other women have the same experiences?