Bipolar CRASH // From Hypomania to Depression

Thank you all for taking the time to watch this emotional video documenting what it's like for me to crash or cycle from hypomania to depression with bipolar disorder. I know it's probably not easy to watch, especially if you know me personally, because it's not the happy, fun "me" that you're used to seeing. But this is reality for me some days, and I feel like I'm doing a disservice if I don't share that reality with those watching.

I want everyone to know that this is not a cry for help or a plea for pity or attention. I have loving and supportive family and friends who do a wonderful job of taking care of me when I need them, as well as the care of a medical team. I simply cannot sit back and portray my life as roses and perfection every day when that just isn't the case. If all I did was show the highs, I wouldn't be helping anyone.

So this is the real side of things that doesn't always get posted. This is what it's like when those dark feelings start coming on. For anyone out there in the same shoes as me, please seek help and know that you're not alone.

I've attached my previous mental health videos below, so if you haven't yet seen those, check them out. As always, make sure to like and subscribe! Thanks!!

Links to Recommended Videos:

My Bipolar Story:

20+ Things Not to Say to Someone w/ Mental Illness:

6 Ways to Help Someone with Bipolar:

Dear New Mama: What I Wish I Would Have Known:

Music: Outro

[themindfulminimalist]

People still see mental health as a taboo topic and some have gone as far as to say that I shouldn't talk about it. Leave a one word comment to simply show your support for all those struggling to speak up and share their story.

Here's mine: survivor.

[williammonday]

I was diagnosed bipolar type 2. The news hit me very hard. I had an idea that my moods were different than others, but it was still very hard to hear from a doctor. We are warriors. We feel everything deeper than most can comprehend. We are not alone. Stay strong, take your medication, get plenty of sleep, and remember WE ARE NOT ALONE. Great video. These stories help all of us during our ups and downs. Thanks for sharing your journey.

[kennyreinhard]

Diagnosed manic depression when I was 24 in 2011. Got in lots of trouble in manic phase and missed out on good opportunities in my depression phases. I'm 34 now and recently accepted the truth. I'm Bipolar!!!

[ec]

My crash happened last month after an extended hypomanic episode which was the longest I've experienced (I may have "crossed over" to full blown Manic Depression/Bipolar). At most extreme, I felt like I could face anything and could accomplish everything. I felt like there was pure energy radiating from me. I felt like I had reached some level of enlightenment. At the lowest of the hypomania, I was "elevated, but realistic" and welcomed challenges. Not now. The worst part of it is the lack of energy and lack of motivation. During past depressive episodes, I would turn to Cannabis for a boost, but since I will be on-boarding soon (transitioning from contractor to employee), I'm leaving the "Devil's Lettuce" alone. At least I know what's happening to me. I'll get through it. It just sucks.

[anis]

What i hate more than depression itself, is having the milder form of hypomania and growing conviction -although cautiously- that finally the depression that predominate my case has gone, only to open my eyes gradually to it after few days. I totally relate to this, thanks for sharing. And i hope you are and will be doing well. Best wishes for you and your family.

[ManicMindTrick]

I would love to stay in that hypomania state for the rest of my life minus the lack of sleep.. It's worth getting in to a lot trouble to feel that good constantly. Luckily I don't ever experience paranoia or delusions. Everything is just turned up to eleven.

[tonymedina]

Please keep sharing because you are saving lives. No one will ever understand until it happens to them.

[caleighbocrie]

It feels like everytime I cycle out of hypomania, a chunk of my hope gets ripped away. I get so hopeful and excited that I’m doing better during hypomania and then it’s like the floor gets ripped out from under me. I’ve really started paying attention to the signs that I’m going into hypomania and I keep track of how much energy I’m using, my impulses, and my irritability. Otherwise I’ll overdo it and fall into an even deeper depression. I understand now that there isn’t a special pill that fixes everything all of a sudden and I’ve gotta be conscious of all the actions I take if I want to get better. Though, I often feel scared and frustrated of the fact that getting to a fully functional state might take decades or that I might never get there. Plus the medicines that my psychiatrist has been having me try all have made me rapid cycle… I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. But hey, what else am I going to do for the rest of my life? Just submit to my bipolar and let this condition control me? I can’t really afford to do that. I have passions and dreams that I need to fulfill for myself. If I let those go… I’ve lost myself.

Thanks for sharing this video. Like you, I’ve just gone through a couple of weeks of hypomania and thought, finally my meds are working correctly. Then today, CRASH! God I wish this would just stop. Unlike you, I am separated and am on my own for the most part. Seeing videos like yours helps me realize I’m not crazy and there are others out there who get what I’m going through.

[angelachambers]

Thank you for being brave and sharing. I needed this right now

[paulz]

Thank you for making this video. Been diagnosed with bipolar and videos like this really help me feel not so alone....Takes a lot of strength to be this vulnerable.

[michaeldiveley]

Thank you for posting your story. I don’t feel like anyone in my life understands my situation. Even my wife. Take care and thanks again.

[papondahoops]

Thank you for this. I hope you find the right medicine for you. ❤

[lynnmcquillan]

Thankyou so much this is so helpful to me as a mother- my Son is going through exactly what you describe- I really hope you get your meds sorted soon so that you get some relief .. feel your pain - Australian fan 🇦🇺 God bless 🙏❤️👍🙏

[darkroof]

i just got diagnosed today with bipolar type 2... I'm in depression cycle since last 6 months.. I wish you all the best

[michelleangers]

Thank you so much for sharing. My heart goes out to you because I too have Bipolar Disorder and am in the crashing process after a hypomania. I know exactly how you feel and it's painful. I hope you'll feel better soon. I'm trying to distract myself as well and it helps a bit. Much love to you.

[just]

That's very brave and you have helped me by sharing this video. Thank you.

[Itsyemuminnit]

im not bipolar but i had one hypomanic episode, i thought i found happiness and was completely unaware of why i felt so incredible but when it came down a month later the feelings i had is undescribable suffering

[reFocusZone]

Here’s mine: Persistence... First time viewer, now subscriber. Thanks for sharing. #PeaceBeStill

[monkeybone]

I’m in a similar situation after my last dosage increase of cymbalta. I honestly abandoned all mental health services because I thought I didn’t need it anymore, I had the strangest thoughts surrounding reality which were down right dangerous and nearly resulted in me walking infront of cars under the presumption that I was the only real thing. Sorted just viewed others as Mpc’s or nothing, I would sing and dance in public, I enrolled into uni, I was extremely promiscuous. I felt god like in every way