What Progress Looks Like for those with Borderline Personality Disorder

Dr. Frank Yeomans talks about what progress looks like for those with borderline personality disorder through the lens of Transference Focused Therapy.

[rottingsun]

"But I'm smart; I was convinced I was right."
this sums up my biggest struggle towards recovery.

[theempresstarot]

Curing from BPD feels like change of perception.... It's like disowning yourself, and owning it back again!! ❤️ The main issue is the intensity.... When episodes happen, no amount of logic works, the whole experience is just so intense.... But we just cannot give up.... Thankyou sir!!

[heatherramsey]

For people struggling with BPD (like myself):
1. Don't give up (EVER)
2. Don't listen to misguided perceptions by "professionals" and people who actually think they know everything - This is a real diagnosis. And it is serious.
3. You need treatment no matter how adversely you feel about it. You are not only responsible for yourself but the experience and impact you have on others around you.
4. Don't ever think you're not normal. You just feel emotions and experience thoughts more intensely than others do. That is not a factoid for other people to judge you as though you are outside the space of normality.
5. Realize BPD has its disadvantages - a lot of them stress-related. You really need to pay attention to how you process things. Mentally and emotionally. This is a skill that takes time. Take it slow. :)
6. Stop caring about the overall impression people have about BPD. Trust me, it's not applicable. None of it is.
7. You seriously need to find a real sense of self-worth. Your life has meaning even when it feels meaningless. Please remember that. Not everything we feel is true and certain.
8. Stop being so hard on yourself. And set realistic standards for yourself at home and at work.
9. Stop "trying to be normal " Be yourself and you will be normal. Find out who you are and be THAT person. It won't be easy but it will be one of the best things you could ever do for yourself in life.
10. Don't allow others to use your BPD as an attack weapon against you. Your emotions are not always wrong just because you have a mental health diagnosis. If someone is acting rude toward you and you FEEL they are, then your emotion is that way for a reason.
11. And finally: A BPD diagnosis is a blessing and NOT a curse! Your life isn't over....it's just gained more clarity. Now that you know about it, you can control it better. Again: Take it slow.

[felimee]

This guy clearly cares about his patients, he reminds me of my therapist

[lazylank]

I like this man. He seems so kind and compassionate. Incredible.

[jennifermaxine]

Feedback that is authentic makes a borderline feel alive & visible again. Wow, you see me? I exist I am not a codependent..I am seen for who I am (my character. morals, values, individuality) not how you want to see me.

[beautifulspirit]

My partner constantly acts out. Shouting, gaslighting and devaluing others. It’s exhausting, frustrating and demoralising. In his case he becomes very abusive if challenged in therapy. It’s nearly always everyone else’s fault. It’s like dealing with a very young child. He is always convinced he’s right. This video is a wonderful. Thank you

[mielenalkemiaa]

I love how Yeomans talked about his patients journey. So much pure love and kindness and proudness towards them. He is a gem.

[smilingmindpositivity]

what an amazing person. The insight he has with BPD sufferers♥️♥️

[Kevin-tbzj]

the patients monologue made me cry. I never even thought to stop and realize that my reality is based off my negative perceptions of myself

[missbubblemaker]

I wish you were my therapist. You and your compassion are a blessing Dr. Yeomans

[christophershepherd]

I'm turning 40 this year, was diagnosed with bpd when I was 26. Was extreme hell for others around me. I was up and down, violent, consumed with guilt, cutting myself, suicidal, constantly internally putting myself down, constant lies. I became an alcoholic drinking 20 drinks every night after work. I pushed everyone away from me until there wasn't many people left. The theropy really didn't help me I felt like I was losing a part of myself and so I just gave up. Wasnt until I was about 38 that I felt like I could start to see issues and correct it within my mind. It does get better with age and time. But honestly I would recommend therapy for 6 months straight and keep seeing the therapist when you need after. Bpd is really hard and it's something you have to do within yourself to get better. But if anyone reads this and needs some help or guidance don't hesitate to contact me ❤

[ashcatchum]

This type of ephiany happened to be by accident in a social worker outpatient therapy where I blew up and it wasn't the end of the world and I was okay and I ddin't have my mom or dad teling me or making me think or feel ashamed or shameful for having feelings....this was good. i haven't been diganosed with bpd but they thought i had it once

[danielleedwards]

Yes right on!! That's how I feel with my progress as well. Even if I imagine someone hates me, it dont matter no more. I can validate myself now!!

[monicacruz]

I love this, you’re in the right job. When you see genuine delight in improving the life of someone with a serious personality disorder, it’s a real joy

[mariadinn]

I love watching Frank read his patient's note. You can see how much he liked this patient and how proud he is of their progress.

[jessicamerced]

I came back to this video as a reminder of the improvement I’ve made. Some days are hard..❤

[emptinessform]

Yes, BPD usually shows improvement within the first 2 months of the new annual relationship then usually resurfaces until the next first 2 months of the next new relationship lol

[janethomas]

My progress really kicked in when I stopped working in a hostile female and gay, fashion oriented workplace... 

[NoirRaven]

Well she sounds thoroughly gaslighted.

Here's my issue with this statement and this attitude: I don't want to be right, but more often than not, I'm constantly proven that I am.

Every time that I feel comfortable with myself, with my friends, and think "hey, life is good, I can be myself, " that's when life slams me down the hardest. Every time, I think I have life figured out and that no, the world doesn't act in absolutes, I'm proven wrong every, fucking, time. Again, I don't want to be right but at I can't seem to find any sane people who want to play ball, so to speak.

I can't find people who want to sit down and talk things out thoroughly and come to a fair conclusion. Every conflict I've had deals in absolutes. [From their perspective, this is what I see.] I want this from you and it better be 100%. (This can be compliance, an apology, my power/agency, etc.) Any questioning, any attempt to "weasel out of it" (also known as trying to reason, ) will be seen as an act of betrayal and the cost will be entirely yours [mine] to pay; for I have labeled you abusive, insane, irrational, emotional; the burden of proof is on you and entirely you. I am your victim, therefore, I hold all power over you and if you do not comply, I shall leave you under the guise of "leaving for my mental health/welbeing."

That's what keeps happening to me, Doc. I can't ever find people who are willing to entertain the idea that they've contributed to a conflict, that maybe they're too irrational to make any sort of decision right then or dare to admit that maybe, they made a mistake because my behavior checked off an arbitrary list of "abusive behavior" they found on tumblr, of all places.

I want so desperately to be rational with people but I find, when it comes to me, people don't give me the basic level of respect they seem to give everyone else. A man can say the exact same things as I do and be respected for it while I'm demonized. I can't declare that someone hit me with a cart and order them not to do so again without them looking at me as if I'm "special." I can't seem to be in control of my own life and live by my own standards and I can't believe that it's been me the entire time. That's just not possible. Yes, I have contributed a lot to my self misery, but not all of it and so far, none of the programs or doctrines focus on what I can do to fix these sorts of scenarios.

How do I regain control of a situation when everyone is so used of taking control from me?