We Don't Need a Man - Rachel Bloom

Rachel and Shaina just got dumped.

Starring Rachel Bloom and Shaina Taub
Written by Rachel Bloom, Shaina Taub and Jack Dolgen
Directed by Adam Stein and Colin Campbell
Cinematography by E. Gustavo Petersen
Edited by Greg Burke

Dancers: Tess Paras, Emma Koenig, Rebecca Delgado-Smith and Dominique Toney
DJ Douchebag: Jack Dolgen
Choreographed by Tess Paras

Set Design by Laura Levin
Hair and Makeup: Rachel Olson
Gaffer: Mariscela Mendez
Swing: Mike Kenne
Driver: Logan Wade
Production Assistants: Marni Fruman and Logan Ludwig

LYRICS:

Spoken:

Shaina: Yo. Rachel and I just got dumped.

Rachel: Yeah! And you know what? We're better off! ROB.

Shaina: Damn right. It's time to have a girl's night.

Rachel: Yeah! It's time to have a girl's night! Let's start singing now!

Shaina:
BABY EVER SINCE YOU LEFT
I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' SO DAMN FINE
I'M FEELING LIKE MYSELF AGAIN
IT'S ABOUT GODDAMN TIME.

Rachel:
BABY EVER SINCE YOU LEFT
I'VE BEEN EATIN' A LOT OF CHEESE.
I HAVEN'T SHOWERED IN 3 DAYS
AND I'M SLEEPING WITH MY DOG, LOUISE.

Chorus:
WE DON'T NEED A MAN
(I'M BETTER OFF ALONE)
WE DON'T NEED A MAN

Rachel: I don't deserve love!

Shaina:
GETTIN' READY FOR THE CLUB
JAMMIN' TO MY FAVORITE SONG
GOT MY SHORT SHORT SKIRT
MY HIGH HIGH HEELS
AND MY RED LIPSTICK ON.

Rachel:
GETTIN' READY FOR THE CLUB
AND BY CLUB I MEAN THE BATH.
GOT MY SHORT SHORT SKIRT
MY HIGH HIGH HEELS
AND WRITE ROB'S NAME ON MY ARMS IN RED LIPSTICK.

Chorus:
WE DON'T NEED A MAN
(I'M AN EMPOWERED WOMAN)
WE DON'T NEED A MAN

Rachel: I made a life-size replica of you out of socks you left at my apartment.

Shaina:
OHHH I'M STRONGER NOW WITHOUT YOU HOLDING ME BACK

Rachel:
OHHHH I'M STRONGER NOW FROM CARRYING THE SOCK MAN WHILE WE DANCE.

Shaina:
I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU A LONG TIME AGO!

Rachel:
I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN FAT.

Chorus:
WE DON'T NEED A MAN
(I'M BETTER OFF ALONE)
WE DON'T NEED A MAN....

[mandyandrachelshow]

Rachel your soo talented make your own tv show it would be amazing lol

[ScionStorm]

Does this take place right after Rebecca was dumped by Robert?

[charleygordonFFA]

"Ohh, I'm stronger now from carrying the sockman while we dance" LMAO

[henriettemuller]

The two ways of dealing with a breakup.

No1: I am so over you and stronger now.
No2: its all my fault. I dont deserve love

[racheldoesstuff]

I feel like many of my songs are in the same universe and are centered around the same fucked up girl:

-I Steal Pets (Girl as a preteen)
-Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury (Girl as a teen)
-You Can Touch My Boobies (Jeffrey Goldstein is a classmate of the girl in "I Steal Pets")
-"We Don't Need a Man" (Girl as an adult snapping from a breakup)
-"Pictures of Your Dick" (Girl snapping from another breakup)

What will the future hold for her next?!

[celimonzon]

I love her sense of humor, and every single one of her songs gets stuck on my head

[racheldoesstuff]

The girl meets her future husband while seeing the Mermaid in concert.

[ThissSStupd]

Seeing Rachel Bloom kiss a life-size dummy made of discarded socks is still one of the highlights of my life. This woman is made of comedy.

[emilyjfreer]

I love that she made a career out of this

[ethansloan]

Why did Rachel's ex have so many pairs of socks? And he must have a ton more, since those are just the ones he left at her apartment. Does he wear a band new pair everyday? Really, she's probably better off without that sock-hoarding freak. Bullet dodged.

[le]

Uhhh... Louise is Greg Mendelsson's terrier mix. I can tell because she has Greg's eyes.

[racheldoesstuff]

I ask myself that question every day.

[stagefrights]

this would fit perfectly in crazy ex girlfriend and is 4 years old...

[t.c.]

People who say women aren't funny clearly haven't heard of Rachel Bloom

[Rockhoppr]

Is this a precursor to "Lets Generalize About Men"? Though the protagonist seems to still be just a girl in love and couldn't be held responsible for her actions, but she does/doesn't seem crazy or she doesn't/does seem crazy. To clarify she probably needs a diagnosis to name her darkness.

[chambrebullock]

I’ve just binged watched CEG this week and this reminds me of put yourself first from season 1, I love you Rachel 😊

[cheesycheez]

When she said *I don’t deserve love!* 😃
I felt that

[ajnode]

Self deprecating humour will always be far more powerful than righteous indignation based humour.

[BugsinCostume]

Just saw you perform this song at Hot Tub with Kurt and Kristin. I LOVED it! Took so much control not to spit beer out of my nose with laughter when you sang your first lines! Takes a special talent to make break-up non-showering cheese depression hilarious! It was my favorite act of the night, and that's saying a lot because all the performers were fantastic.

[supergirl]

Somehow I was both Rachel and Shaina when I got dumped. This is hilarious and very true to life.