Autism ACTUALLY Speaking: Women On The Spectrum

This week Jess joins me in a discussion about women on the spectrum.

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[wuzittooya]

I'm gonna start rating things on a scale of 'Potato'

[thehopesystem]

I'm still not diagnosed autistic, but my parents worked with my teachers for accommodations even without calling it autism. My mother helped me understand things like boundaries using simple metaphors and all sorts of things like that. My mom is really accepting of my referring to myself as autistic, now, despite not having a diagnosis.

[lexica]

This video is such a great example of why I love this channel. Thank you so much for speaking in terms of "people who were raised as women".

I'm old enough that I probably wouldn't have been identified as autistic even if I had been AMAB. As far as I know, at that time the DSM didn't allow for the possibility of being autistic without also having intellectual or learning disability. Quirky weird smart kids were just weird and needed to deal with it…

I would love to have the opportunity to chat with Jess about our experiences.

[redhood]

I swear you two are the definition of Relationship goals 😄 You guys are perfect for each other

[thefidgeteen]

As a female who is currently undiagnosed, I think your point about timing being important is a good point of discussion- when I was a kid, asperger’s was recognized but only thought of as a “boy thing” and because I was academically gifted (hyperlexia) and not disruptive I was never evaluated despite otherwise being a textbook “little professor.” Nowadays, people are much more aware of ASD (though there needs to be awareness of educator implicit bias and more diverse profiles on the spectrum)- and more likely to connect the dots between constant meltdowns in school, debilitating sensory issues, and having no friends to autism- even when it presents in a girl. That’s not to say that youngsters today don’t get missed- but I am perhaps optimistic that more young girls will get the assistance they need to avoid the fallout that comes later in life when things inevitably go south due to this increased awareness.

[theautisticpro]

I can relate to the missing diagnosis because you grew up in a rural area. I was raised mostly in Southeastern Ohio, and even today there are huge variations in awareness between all of the little school districts. Not only that, if you live in a family that moves around a lot, schools don't have the continuity needed to go through identifying a problem, particularly when someone masks well.

[elisakrivas]

I masked until sometime in Middle School. I sucked at masking and it was too stressful, so I quit and found my individuality earlier than most kids. Now, I'm really weird. And I own it!

[aleciahagwood]

My boyfriend have asperger's and once i looked at ya videos it helped me alot to understand apergers and what to do, thank you for your advices, it really helped me alot.

[hollymolly]

I enjoyed hearing a bit of your story, Jess. I also liked that you used inclusive language like "raised female" and "female presenting" etc. I think it would be a cool topic to discuss the role of autism and gender identity.

[isaacrosenthal]

I was diagnosed at two years old, but never knew about my diagnosis until I was 14. It was almost like I was diagnosed later. I was originally ashamed of my diagnosis, mainly because I was both a victim and an aggressor of bullying and abuse as a kid. I have grown to accept myself more and I agree with Jess in terms of if you harm someone, take steps to prevent future harm to them.

[drbrog]

She is so enchanting, I love it when Jess gets into the videos.

[larkeldarian]

I was diagnosed Autistic with Asphergers syndrome at the age of 18, in 1978. Back in those days it was only diagnosed by a full team of psychiatrists, they placed me on the psyche ward because I was having regular meltdowns and severe weight issues, I was only 5 and a half stone. so due to being severely underweight they wanted to see what was causing that issue. They did a number of tests and and gave me a lot of drugs, I don't remember much of the details as the drugs made the memories too hazy. But that was the harsh way they dealt with anybody in those days who had differences or difficulties fitting in. we were just given a label, any label they could think of; Bipolar and Ptsd, etc. I was eventually released after 6 weeks of evaluating and processing, they told my Parents I am Autistic with aspergers and would need help and support for the rest of my life. The problem with my weight was due to Anorexia caused by the autism, which they said was a result of issues with my digestive system, this turned out to be the case, for the rest of my life. My parents response was, to take me home, and they told me; OK so your Autistic, we don't understand that; so you will just have to manage, Go and join whatever groups you can and do your best to fit in, you will be fine...lol

[callmescout]

I just had my second of evaluation for autism yesterday! Now waiting to appointment for my official results.

[mrdw]

I was diagnosed with what was then called Asperger's syndrome when I was 10 in 1995 but I didn't find out about this until I was 17. This was because my parents are from a generation that viewed disability as something negative. I developed psychotic depression from being bullied in secondary school but I had one friend whose older brother was autistic who helped me overcome depression. I guess being around people who really understand and really care can make all the difference but regrettably those people can be few and far between. I go to a poetry group and a drama group at a community centre in another part of Manchester UK where I live and writing and acting have helped me become more confident. The community centre is geared towards helping people who are experiencing mental distress so I'm accepted like everyone else there is. I'm not saying that autism is a mental illness but people at the centre really care and understand.

[ithacacomments]

Jess could be my daughter's sister! Same hair, same glasses, same demeanors. My daughter is 47 and self diagnosed. She has no desire to pursue an official diagnosis.

[LeucaRs]

Thank you Nathan and Jess for this great and insightful video. I have followed your channel on and off for a couple of years now, but just subscribed from this account. I originally found your channel while I was starting off with my first service dog prospect. Within the last 6 months my psychiatrist has referred me to someone who is more specialized in Autism Spectrum Disorder, as he believes I may have it, but is not qualified to make a definitive diagnosis. I had no idea it was even a possibility, and Jess' explanation of masking particularly resonates with me. All of what she said does, but that is a term I've never heard used or explained before, and so I took a detour and watched your video on it. Thank you for the education you bring with every video, it is so so valuable. You two make a beautiful team.

[nikolateslaize]

I am so glad to see Jess's perspective. We have a lot of common. Thank you.

[jessicasierra]

I can relate so Much with Jess. (Also, my name is Jess lol) I am hoping to get clinically diagnosed, pretty hard though

[rachelgoad]

Would you mind saying a bit more about the kinds of "self-accommodations" you describe? Or directing to a good resource explaining them? :)

[elisakrivas]

My family and I always knew I was different. We just didn't know why. Since it was a stress for my mom throughout our life together, I just wanted an answer. When I was diagnosed, I was happy to know and just wanted to see how to improve. My mom, to my surprise, blew it out of proportion and made me feel like I was just a labeled problem, even though I tried convincing her that I was still her same daughter she had known for 20 years. I was heartbroken. I went through some trauma after that due to her stereotyping me, things I don't want to get into, but they changed me and how I view my ASD. Now, I'm proud of how I am and, while there will always be things I'd like to improve, I accept and love my ASD. I never knew the way people viewed us until the trauma I went through. I thought it was the answer we had been looking for and now we could work to improve me, but through all I've learned I now see it as a gift that is misunderstood and I not only accept, but feel I need to educate others on.