What Does Self-Care Look Like When You Have ADHD?

We struggle with self-care on a near daily basis. So today I wanted to talk about what proper self-care looks like when you have ADHD.

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[MDaggatt]

Rather than calling it self-care, I like to call it maintenance. Its really easy for me to think of self-care as a luxury, but maintenance HAS to be done regularly, done well, and done thoroughly no matter what or the machine (me) will break.

[adymlv]

I think the hardest thing is to know when it's selfcare to stay in bed for a while, and when it's selfcare to force yourself out of it. Because it's so easy to get stuck and forget how much better it will feel when I'm not stuck in bed.

[TheRealMespotine]

My personal selfcare routine can be best described with one phrase from your earlier videos: parenting myself.
When I feel like a bunch of crashed potatoes, I sit myself next to myself in my mind and ask, what's wrong, how do you feel, what do you need and try to figure out with that feedback, how I can treat myself the best.
Like good parents listening to their child and try to figure out, how to help them the best.

And sometimes, I just need a hug. So I imagine, giving myself a parental hug so I feel seen, respected and taken care of.

Doesn't always work but more and more, it does 🙂

[gamewrit]

For me, self care includes brushing my teeth in the afternoon, because I know I won't have the energy at bedtime. And not bullying myself if I can't manage it every day.

[JoshuaMNeff]

Yesterday, my depression hit me hard. So I took a day for self-care, which in this case was lying on my sofa in my jammies under a comfy blanket and not making my brain work too much. Which sounds easy but there's so much pressure to always be getting things done, it can be difficult for me to not do anything. At one point, I started thinking about some writing I've been working on and I told myself "Stop, you're making your head hurt! Pretend you threw your back out and you can't push yourself too hard. You can think about this later when you're brain is feeling more up to it."

[augustvincent]

one of my favorite metaphors for self care is treating yourself like a garden, because you have different needs on different days. a little more sun one day, a little more water the next, it depends on what your garden needs today.

[maddkat]

As ADHDers, I also find that self-care can also be allowing ourselves to hobby switch. I used to beat myself up about not maintaining a hobby and getting more advanced at it like my peers, but discovering I had ADHD and accepting my brain for how it is has made me rethink this. I've allowed myself to get into plants recently, but also let myself either start a new hobby or return to my uke, drawing, sustainability research, singing, yoga, etc whenever I get bored of the current hobby. I know it's hard not to judge ourselves for abandoning hobbies faster than most, but having many interests is what makes us so unique. I remind myself that it is because of my neurodivergent brain that I can relate to so many others on a shared interest, bring up fun conversations, and even introduce others to a new experience via said hobby.

[Hi_Im_Akward]

Self care for me is
The basic things like eating and taking a shower
Trying to keep my kitchen and laundry clean
Calling in sick at work if I'm unwell, physically or mentally
Therapy
Drinking lots of water
Going to bed on time

Its sooo hard doing the boring self care. But thats the stuff that provides the most benefits.

[CB-jgxg]

Currently I’m liking the distinction between “self care” and “self work”.

Self care: taking a break, being kinder to myself.
Self work: things that are hard but are good for me. House work, therapy, admin catch-up etc.

Both looking after myself but in different ways.

[hollyhobgoblin]

I've always struggled with the concept of self-care because my executive dysfunction already causes me to spend very little time being productive which makes me feel incredibly guilty and negative about myself, and the image that's always being projected regarding self-care is someone reclining in a fancy face-mask with a bottle of champagne and chocolates or something. So, if anyone suggests that I should practice self-care, I can't help but think "They wouldn't say that if they knew what I'm really like. They're saying I need to take a break, but my whole life is just one big break because I'm so lazy." And it just goes completely over my head. I understand what you're saying about it being more about serving your needs, but I still struggle with it.

[aneleish]

The biggest thing that helps me differentiate self care from other activities: *self care = being kind to your future self.*

[spameranne]

normalizing the concept of "I'm a different person with different needs" than anyone else is something I think most people could probably benefit from. thanks!

[laurenjohnson]

Self care for me is saying "no" a lot more than I used to think I should.

[FrostCraftedMC]

i think theres a huge portion of people who see self care as "treat yourself" when it more literally means "take care of yourself" sometimes treats can be bad for you, and i feel like thats the big point most people talking about self care miss

[charlottemiller]

Hi there, I'm 50 and I"ve just been diagnosed. 😭 My ADHD was hidden behind a HIQ until I've burned out... and discovered I had both. I feel so confused and angry, the more I read about my neuro divergence, the more I cry and feel like hiding in a hole. Your videos are helping me a lot, thanks.

[RespectfullyTae]

I can't even stick with a routine😭

[abbysmommy]

I'm so tired of people telling me that watching something I enjoy or cooking something I enjoy isn't self care. There is more to self care than meditation and face masks and bubble baths. Thank you for putting this out there. I feel really understood by this video

[QuinnytheDM]

I am glad you made this video and mentioned that self care isn't always easy. I am a trans woman and the best thing I have done for myself has been coming out and starting transitioning. It definitely wasn't easy, but it has been the best decision I ever made. I have started to be able to look in the mirror and actually connect with my body for the first time in years.

[SuperGoose]

Self care is really hard when other people demand so much of you and your time

I've gotten better about prioritizing myself lately, but it's still difficult sometimes

[geoffreynolds]

Mu doctor told me yesterday that self care can be realizing that Mon-Fri taking on chores can be too overwhelming, especially since I work a physical labour job in the hot sun 9 hours a day. My wife accommodating for my burn out during the week has also helped. She has been learning that accommodations are needed from time to time and I'm so grateful for her love and care.