Dating Over 50: 7 Old-Fashioned Dating Rules We Should Bring Back and Follow Today!

Have old-fashioned dating rules really become outdated dating over 50? Have dating apps and changes in how we communicate made old-fashioned dating advice obsolete? Relationship Expert Joni Caldwell Lerner gives her take on 7 old-fashioned dating rules we should bring back and follow today for making a memorable and lasting impression in modern dating.

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[alexanderlapp]

I have brought a pumpkin to give to my lunch date. This might be completely out of the box, but her face lit up when she saw it.

[kathryncothern]

Old school principles meshed with the modern world is absolutely feasible!!! It works well as long as one is aware of it.

It’s my pleasure to contribute financially on dates since I would never expect the gentleman to cover everything all the time. I am very considerate of his finances as much as mine. ❤

[omyota]

The thoughtful and inexpensive gift thing is HUGE. Most people will tell you what kinds of gifts they want, if you're paying attention. One of the biggest things I did when my girlfriend and I were first dating was a pack of hair ties. We'd go somewhere in my car, windows down and music up, and her hair would be blowing everywhere. Third or fourth date, I bought a pack of hair ties, and stuck a few on the passenger door handle. Next time we went somewhere and her hair started blowing around, she commented on needing to put some hair ties in her purse, and I pointed to the door handle. It was a win.

[vixter]

Writing a love letter or thoughtful gift :
When I was married, I used to give my husband a handmade little booklet of coupons - good for one massage, good for one kiss etc
I don’t think he ever used them but he thought it was more thoughtful & romantic and original not just going to the store and getting some thing I think he would like.
he always wrote really nice things & sometimes long paragraphs in my card for birthday or Valentines to tell me how he felt
I miss that - he’s been gone now over 12 years and I still have the cards ❤

[mypov]

Reality is....we live in a world of social media where there's an "illusion of options"...until we realize it can be a waste of time, delete our online dating profile, and then perhaps revert to "old-fashion" rules. I was on Bumble for exactly 7 hours this last week and deleted it. I couldn't take all the entitled women, the women I knew and their skewed profiles, and how bumble tries to extract money from you to show your "swipe right" hits. (not mentioned before you enroll). Did I really want to be part of this? Yes, I have friends that say I am crazy and I should have stuck it out. After all women should love me just because I am over 6 feet tall, right? No thanks, I will stay organic. There, I feel better :)

[stacyjaye]

Oh goodness, the dang door opening 🙄 Door to the store? Yes. Door to any building entry, yes. That car door though LOL. I appreciate the effort, and if there's mud or snow I appreciate the help, but for me, it gets weird waiting for someone to open my car door each and every time. It's a fine line, if you're comfortable with each other you can walk it. Dang car door though...😆

[truthboomertruthbomber]

At the grocery store I often offer to return peoples carts for them after they have put their groceries in their car. The last time it was a very nice age appropriate lady parked in a handicapped spot that I struck up a conversation with. Turns out she was recovering from a broken hip and shoulder so she was very happy for me to do this random act of kindness! Turns out that we are both cancer survivors ! Fate had brought us to that spot. A minute either way and it’s a missed interaction. Since we will likely never see each other again I asked her out to lunch making sure she knew I’m not looking for an SO at this moment in my life. Just looking for s prospective good friend which you can never have too many of. She was agreeable and we exchanged phone numbers.

Awesome, right ? Well, this is 2023 and what happens in 2023 ? I got ghosted ! Having watched enough dating vids to be aware of the reality of the relationship dynamics in America today I’m not surprised and find it hilarious in fact !

[andrewbird]

When I go to Trader Joe's I will pull out carts for other people if we're all converging at the carts at the same time. Is that chivalrous? When I read in a dating profile that she expects her man to open her car door for her, I move on.

You recently covered calling vs texting. I agree with Joni, if you want to call, text first to find if it's a good time to call. Interesting, something else Joni mentioned, hearing a voice releasing pheromones. Woman I'm dating or getting to know have said my voice over the phone triggers something.

A woman friend recently said to me, "Don't ask a woman where she wants to dine. Ask her to guess where you are taking her and then take her to her first guess."

I bought a couple of cases of Sauvignon Blanc from a good Nevada County winery during the pandemic. I'm not a big wine drinker. I've shared several bottles with dates. But I've never given them as just a gift. That is a thought.

[joerockhead]

Thank you, Silke, & Joni. I enjoyed this episode.

[gailpeterson]

I love the Masculine. What has feminism done for us? We are equal but at what expense? This is purely my opinion and mine alone. I love a man who is the provider and the protector, opens doors, walks at the side of the road as to protect his women. For me it’s then showing my appreciation of feeling protected and cherished. The reward is my loyalty and my commitment to us and our relationship. One thing I think we are underestimating is the influence of “pornography”, the easy availability and the expectation of what women are expected to be providing sexually to the modern relationship? A topic I would like a discussion on? Appreciate the maturity of this channel 😊

[chrisjames]

I think after a certain point women NEED to pay. When a woman doesn't pay, men see the lack of gesture on a woman's part. Keep in mind, this man is going to be your friend at some point. Would you treat your female friends in this way? It matters a lot to most men that you try, even if you can't afford the same amount. Plus, what dynamic are you setting up? You expect him to treat you as an equal, but you expect him to pay for everything and be taken care of? You expect this to end well?

[Wildevis]

So many great points today. The chilvalry thing to me will never be dead. I appreciate when a man, or anyone else for that matter opens a door for me and would do the same, but I do not expect it.Paying for meals is as you said, traditionally men did but I asked my ex out to breakfast once and said on condition I pay as he made me a lovely barbeque meal the previous weekend. He loved a certain kind of spicy pickles and could not get it anywhere near him, so on my way to him I noticed my one shop I stopped at did stock it and bought him a small bottle which he really appreciated. Yeah I agree with the waiting, but our time is sort of getting shorter on this earth lol and when one finds your person, no matter your age, why wait, but definitely wait for sex as you will immediately find out who wants a relationship and who just a friend with benefits.Introducing to immediate family and close friends should be a natural thing, when you are invited to them and they may ask to bring your friend with. ON the other hand, actively avoiding introducing you is not a good thing either. My ex stayed in an appartment on a part of his one daughter;s property, each with their own entrance and one day she walked in and he just did nothing to introduce us, so after a few awkward moments, we just introduced ourselves to each other and he just sat there. To me that was really rude. A hand written note would really warm my heart and I love JOni's husband's Valentine note idea, just so thoughtful

[RonDevito]

Regarding paying on dates, I don't know how people in our age bracket are handling this, but among the younger generation, this has become a total clown show with women demanding 5-star restaurant dinners costing hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Because these entitled narcissists think they're royalty. If you're not a man's wife and it's not a wedding anniversary, you DON'T DESERVE a five-star dinner on a first date (and this is NOT about sex or no sex - sex should not be conditioned on anything of value anyway - otherwise we know exactly what you are and you're just negotiating price!). Men are so over the BS of entitled princesses on foodie calls. A first date is to spend time with you and get to know you. Yes, that means: coffee, ice cream or something LOW INVESTMENT. If a woman balks at that: end the conversation, block, delete, or show her the door and keep moving forward.

[ssiegreen]

That was interesting! Glad there is some actual thoughts going into dating with the younger generation again, instead of just thinking "hook-ups"!

As far as our generation is concerned - I just expect a little bit more. A little more thought. A little more consideration. A little more presence. A little more substance.
This summer as I've stepped into dating and going out again - I've met my fair share of men that are not thinking/planning + executing but that are just "going with the flow to see where it's ending up". And to clarify - not meaning that they were not particularly interesting in getting to know me or being attracted [I got a lot of "eye sparkles", flirty smiles & conversations and also an earful of that texting + emoji lingo too, so it's not that] - but being sooo chillaxed to the point of being feminine. That's not what I want in this time of my life. I could have had some seriously spectacular dates + outings this summer, if I was willing to step up and do the planning + directing. If that is what feminism and the hook-up culture and Me2 has done to our men, we [feminine women] are truly eff'd!

Men - if you're wanting a feminine, soft, "womanly" woman - you'll simply have to put your big boy pants back on and be a masculine man. There's just no other way!

[webbsamples]

A handwritten note from a woman I'm interested in is amazing . . . a bit of her perfume added to the paper--Oh my!

[sesvaoffice]

I live in Australia. recently was listening to triple J the radio station for teens to 30's. two female hosts (both in the 20s) discussed this topic and invited comments from listeners and overwhelmingly the consensus was women didn't want the guy to pay, and the guys certainly didn't want to have that expectation put on them. it was very interesting.

[bearheartjump]

I FaceTimed on the 4th day at 7am, it was inspiring

[TimmyCramer]

Women: Ask a man out, plan the date, select the restaurant, pay the bill. You will have a very happy man for sure! Always remember ladies....You are strong and independent!! 😊

[natalieh]

Taking things slowly when online dating especially is a must for me. We just met in person, and I don't even know yet if I like you that way, and yet many men start with sexual innuendos and uncomfortable compliments on, directly after, or sometimes even before the actual first date. This has been one of the biggest turn offs for me and a reason to turn down second date invitations. Yet it seems there are dating coaches for men on YT who advise men to be sexual on the first date to show their attraction. Maybe it works for some women, but to me this is definitely a turn off.

[DougHardy]

Interesting how all of these dating rules are now considered “outdated”. When did being a nice person become obsolete? … the times we live in now.

I for one, would be totally floored if a woman gave me a handwritten note—that’s classy, and would separate her.

With all that being said, Silke has the right idea 10:07. “Yes, please!” <Austin Powers voice>