Dating over 50: Old-Fashioned Dating Habits Keeping You Single? Romance in the Digital Age

Are old-fashioned dating habits keeping you single? Are dating best practices from the past still valid in today’s world? On many fronts, the digital age has put us at odds with old-fashioned romance and finding love after 50. Dating Coach Treva Brandon Scharf, author of Done Being Single: A Late Bloomers Guide to Love, candidly shares her views of modern dating, and why some old-fashioned dating best practices should never go out of style!

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[timp]

So here is an anecdote about swearing, which I cringe when I hear coming out of a woman's mouth: I called out a male colleague for swearing in the workplace (for no reason). I said "do you talk like this when your mother is over for supper?" He said "No, because I respect her". Priceless.

[hopeseeker]

For those of us having to start over again...scares me to think about dating in this crazy world.

[StephenSchuster_WAG]

I have been taking a break from dating. It has been a lesson that Treva refered to as "taking it slow". In the future, when I start dating again, I plan to be more careful about selecting my dates and vetting them. There is a subtle difference between "an old-fashioned woman" who appreciates a gentleman's courtesies and a woman who believes she is entitled to them. Who would I rather spend time with? It's a no-brainer.

[murphymomof]

Agreed with every single point, ladies. Not ashamed to be an old-fashioned sophisticate. You can be both traditional and fully aware of the world you're living in. ;) Really well-expressed today! Thanks, you two. xo :)

[djl]

Thanks for confirming what I thought would be a good idea on first going out. It is indeed quite unfair for a man to lay out a great deal of money for an expensive meal before even knowing whether there is any kind of future moving forward with your romantic interaction.

[amyshelton]

Great video Silke. I'm old fashioned and a baby boomer, too.i agree, that letting the man take the lead shows:respect, acceptance, courtesy and appreciation. Isn't that what men are looking for? In my experience, if a man doesn't do the small things, then he's really not into you. What's your opinion?

[adrianabrown]

Thank you Treva for the "man should make the first move". Yes we are modern and equal but romance is about polarity, not being the same.

[keithwinnick]

At 13:48, the book Silke mentions, I love you but I hate your politics, has been an absolute gift for me. I'm a liberal and my lady is a conservative and we are joyfully in a committed relationship. Yes, a relationship can be more than politics and we enjoy the best of each other.

[andrewbird]

I don't want to have sex too early either. I want to take time to get to know somebody first. Friendship and compatibility is what is going to carry a relationship through the long term. I want to establish this first before going to the next level.

[projecttau]

The aspect of profanity is always interesting to me. I do believe those who cuss are more honest. It's an honest expression of their emotions at a given time. I see those who tailor themselves to such a degree as to never cuss as not open, honest, or expressive, and that does spill over to other aspects of communication.

The only times I take issue with profanity is if it's directed anger at another. Cuss with me, not at me.

[stephenkilpatrick]

Silke, I love your description of Treva's way of expressing herself. She has a VERY lucky husband! One of my closest female friends at work (before she retired) is one of those women who would swear in our conversations. I DO believe that people who swear are more truthful. If I throw in a swear word, I'm trying to communicate a FEELING that goes along with it like frustration or whatever.

[ronmance]

Treva has such a sweet personally... I don't think her little bit of cussing is offensive... great video ❤️

[hopeseeker]

"Knickers in a knot"! Lol. My mom is silent generation so I know that term!

[russellmarvin]

I totally agree with you and Treva. Dating has changed so much over the last 20 some odd years. Now that I’m divorced I’m having to start over as well. Thank you so much for your insight and comments, they help so much. I’ve learned to agree to disagree about a few things as well know my boundaries.

[joerockhead]

Thanks, Silke, I always enjoy when you have Treva on as a guest.

[sandrasgotvoice]

Great video as always! Yes, the "sex too soon" thing is just a NO. Not only do you need time to get to know someone, it's just unsafe on so many levels. I think I heard a term "Apocalyptic Dating", where the person says things like "we're older and don't know if tomorrow is promised"-type of stuff.🤣Maybe you could do a segment on it??

[keithwinnick]

I had the stop the video at 6:30 and tell you both that you are right on! I'm in a committed relationship and love that we can communicate with salty language when appropriate.

[leoromo]

It has been documented that people who curse scored higher on measures of honesty. I can honestly say that Silke is so phuckin gorgeous! Great video ladies! 😍😘🥰😘

[mypov]

Always be your authentic self living in the moment and see what resonates. It's much easier to approach and be approached that way....for any relationship. Regarding "dating" there HAS to be chemistry first and foremost. Then you have to put that aside and ask yourself could this be a good friend, would my friends like them, do we have common values? That will take time. If not, move on. If yes, its its all good and it should be fun connecting and sharing experiences! You should have a hard time keeping your hands off them while being respectful LOL AND you should be able to say that without feeling strange because it should be TRUE and they should like it cause they should feel the same. If not...exit to the left asap. Marriage should be the afterthought and not the goal. "Let's be single together" remains my mantra, cuz that's how I roll :) thanks for letting me ramble....

[patrickwade]

I’ve found there is a fine line between playing hard to get and playing games. I have no problem with a woman being a little hard to get, but if it comes on too strong I’ll not deal with it, especially when it seems like a game to her. I’m more old school and will gladly pay for drinks or whatever on our first meeting, but I don’t suggest dinner for the same reason Treva said. Good show!