BREAKING THE CYCLE OF INTERNALIZED TRANSPHOBIA

In this video I fight with my cats, but I also talk about how to overcome internalized transphobia using self growth :)
LIKE & SUB if you enjoyed the video + let me know what you think in the comments below!

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[MaxWalterStine]

You are a very mindful and aware man. I am also FtM (just hit a year on T 🎉) and practicing mindfulness and self compassion has changed my life in so many facets, but I couldn’t imagine my transition without it too.

It takes practice to catch ourselves in these patterns-pause, and bring kindness in that moment and it is not linear either. It’s waves, but bringing that awareness, we are able to live the truth of who we are rather than act out of fear.

I could really run on about this, haha my point is, you hit it home and I appreciate you sharing this honest wisdom, especially to folks who may not be aware of these concepts.

Peace be with you

Anyone reading, if you are in the midst of the discomfort that comes with life, to my trans siblings- I see you, know that you belong, just as you are. ❤

[hehehehehehehehehehe]

i have so much internalized transphobia even clicking on this video made me so damn uncomfortable :( but i watched through the whole thing. thank you this is genuinely so helpful. i am going to be so nice to myself. and yes it is the trans community around me that is causing this.. mostly twitter and tumblr. i’m choosing to surround myself with this because i am not kind to myself and think i deserve it. it’s hard for me to have trans friends especially transmasc and when i have had them, they tend to project onto me or vice versa and it gets really toxic. i don’t have a transmedicalism problem but i feel so bad about being trans for other reasons like terf rhetoric about mutilating my body and ruining other people’s perception of me, and lots of other trans people reinforce this sadly.

[ppinable]

Thank you for making this video. I'm basically uncovering internalized misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia in myself. the advise to love yourself through the process is really important.

[xenotiic]

Trans woman (mtf) here. Thank you for this video.💚I really needed this video, and I think I needed to hear it from a trans man as well. I've been dealing with a lot of issues related to my own transness, but also men more broadly. I especially needed that "imagine yourself sitting down across from the part of you that has [internalized transphobic thoughts]" idea the most. It's honestly a really good method of understanding my own thoughts in general. I've had a lot of negative experiences with men, and I think I sometimes forget that all of us trans folks are in the same boat of self-actualization assuming it's somehow easier for trans men to be men. The part of me that has ire for others is toxic, and it's a mindset I have to work myself out of.

And yes, I also used to watch Kalvin and Ryan before I knew I was trans, back when I was learning about what being transgender meant. I'm sure that there's a lot of my current mentality that stems from that era of Youtube.

[madusername]

Thank you for making this, it’s nice being able to have like actionable steps to take towards processing and overcoming this

[Ult_ra_violet]

Hi, thanks for posting this, i know this vid is a year old so not sure if you will even see this but ill give it a shot. I'm MTF, i guess I'm struggling with even acknowledging internalized transphobia. If you say you are trans i will respect that 100%, it doesn't matter what you look like or how you act or talk. My problem is with myself: for lack of a better word I'm scared i will be ugly, im also scared of not passing but thats not what im talking about, like there is this idea of who i want to be and I'm scared i will never get anywhere close to that. Sometimes seeing other trans folks reminds me of this fear (and i hate talking about this because its so dark and terrible), and i know that i cannot detrans because i cant go back to being unauthentic but the idea that I'm going to have these masculine markers just gives me a lot of despair, i feel trapped, and i try my best to not think about it and move forward because i know that's the direction i need to go. To me this is a quintessential woman experience, being unhappy with your body. Do we call it internalized cisphobia in cis women? Or do we just call it being a victim of societies unrealistic body standards? I grew up in the 90s and 2000s when unrealistic body standards were not even being challenged yet. I know you are a trans man so maybe you don't have relatable experiences, but i have watched a lot of internalized transphobia vids and you're the first person that has defined it in the way that i understand it, or at least close to how i understand it.

[Robin-pswq]

I think my main issue with internalized transphobia is feeling like others around me who are out are the role-models for cis people to see, and me being stealth, I am not a role model so I worry about how theses other people are being perceived. and when these other open trans people or early transitioners do things or act in a way that I consider out of line, I find myself getting really railed up internally; avoiding interacting with trans people at all costs at college. I'm never outright an asshole but I can be distant and unresponsive.

I'm really not sure how I'll ever get over this issue. I battled with the type of transphobia mentioned in the video but got over it once I went stealth, but now theres this new beast and it's directed at others which (though quietly) is really shitty. If anyone has any advice on that, that would be great. Maybe it could be the next video idea even. I'd love to learn more about how I could work though this. I know I'm not the only one because my partner [MtF] feels the same way

[ian-online]

Yes I might not feel like a "real" man or be able to transition, but I have a whole journey ahead of me. I'm allowed to change shapes at any moment.

[shadowdaddyhades]

I'm nb transmasc, and I really appreciate the videos you make. They have helped me so much while navigating this very confusing time. I dont really fit within the rest of the trans community, and it's been a huge relief having this safe space to come to and not feel so alone 🖤

[rosefox]

This is a great video, honestly! It's such an important topic many of us struggle with and you've not only explained it really well but also given active steps one can take to start healing.

[O_Ciel_Phantmhive]

Thank you! I had an awful day today and sadly enough, most of it had to do with my transness so seeing this video really helped me actually feel validated. Keep it up my dude!

[KitelessThirteen]

Thank you for this video it was very helpful :) the best thing for me was, as you said, to find other trans people who were all different and just being themselves and showed me that being trans isn’t shameful it’s just who we are

[ian-online]

It can also manifest as SLOWING down your transition..

[Turtlegreens]

Kalvin really was the andrew tate/alpha male podcast guys for the transmasc community 💀

[ariaanneprice]

This is also works if you are cis and trying to be a better ally, friend or relative. I've been working on changing these thought patterns in myself. I'm a Cis woman though I am Bisexual/pansexual Questioning definitely Biromantic. So I'm part of the larger community. The most important tip is getting to know Trans people and having an honest discussion with them and listening. I have a few trans friends now but still occasionally have negative thoughts that I have to work through to be a better person for them and for me too. Your doing great thanks for your representation keep going.

[FlawedbyDesign]

It’s really weird for me, not only do successful/good-looking people (like you for example) trigger my dysphoria I also feel bad, fake and inappropriate for trying to work towards being myself it’s not fair, it’s like there is no happiness, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Hatred that’s been fed to me is somehow deeply ingrained in the opinion of my very essence und there’s just self-loathing and that I will never feel genuine and complete.

[Ta-tzup]

Thank you so much for this video <3 really need that

[Shroomiewitch]

My thoughts part wise manifested as intrusive thoughts cause of an anxiety attack one of them was stuff like the classic one was "ehhhh you are just a confused men in Woman clothes" or the main core is that I'm fakeing it all...but right now I remember how I basically excluded myself from lesbian spaces by saying "yeah I'm a Woman but I'm not thaaat woman" like I'm just a Trans girl just a cheap copy bla bla bla...

[judyhumphreys]

Are you planning on taking hormones for the rest of your life?