Why You Don't Need to Be Exceptional

Many of us walk the earth with a feeling that, in order to acceptable, we need to be something very special indeed. It could sound like ambition, but it's closer to neurosis - and a source of constant and unnecessary pain. Here are some tips to unwind the affliction.

FURTHER READING

“It’s a rather simple question that quickly gets to the core of someone’s sense of well-being and legitimacy: did your childhood leave you feeling that you were – on balance – OK as you were? Or did you somewhere along the way derive an impression that you needed to be extraordinary in order to deserve a place on the earth? And, to raise an associated question: are you therefore now relaxed about your status in life? Or have you become either a manic overachiever or filled with shame at your so-called mediocrity?”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Noelle Smith Design

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[theschooloflifetv]

Do you feel the pressure to be exceptional? Let us know in the comments below and make sure you do not miss any of our future films by subscribing to our channel and turning on notifications.

[elizabethrenee]

“I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”
― J.D. Salinger, Franny and Zooey

[guillaumed.]

The paradox is that once you come to terms with your own mediocrity, you will be much more likely to reach excellence.

[nfm]

I am so shocked at how accurately this describes my life.
I was a perfectionist since I was a small child. An overachiever.
Had to have the best grades, wear the best clothes, have the best manners and please everyone!
Last year, I had developed an eating disorder, depression and an anxiety disorder due to me always trying to be “perfect” and keep it together.
I broke down and I had to take a two month long break from school!
I am trying to rewire my mind and get rid of the perfectionist mindset, even though I still want to be “perfect at being imperfect”!

[mortiphasm]

"Do you really have to be special? Do you really need people's recognition? I don't think so. When it comes to my child... He doesn't need to become great. Why would he have to be better than anyone else? After all, just look at him... He's so cute. He's already great. Because he was... born into this world."
-Eren's mother, Attack On Titan

[KanyekiKamawe]

Took myself out for some cake and coffee at a really nice cafe yesterday and it was amazing! Just sat there and watched YouTube videos and enjoyed my own company. Probably the highlight of my weekend so far

[karanacharya]

“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”
- The Office (US) final ever line.

[joesr]

"The world divides into the privileged who can be ordinary and the damned compelled to be remarkable" That line hit me hard

[josephinepapin]

For people who like to write like me, and who have always written because they were passionate about story making: please don’t stop because you don’t have an “audience” or you think it is a waste of time if you cannot get published. You have one life. If you have promised to yourself as a kid that you were going to write a book some day, do it for him/her. In the end, this kid will be the only audience that mattered.

[johanstephan]

You might have just saved me a lifetime of trouble. Thanks

[ellielindsey]

There are so many joys in ordinary life. The problem is that most people don’t truly appreciate those joys until they are either taken away or threatened. Stop focusing so much on what you don’t have, and appreciate what you do, because nothing lasts forever ❤️

[earthling]

*Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey. They don't need to, it's not for them.* - Joubert Botha

[paigegotbooks]

I’m finally learning at the age of 28 that it’s okay to have an average life and it’s so peaceful.

[ossen]

*Being exceptional for your own self, not in the eyes of others.*
If you are content and do things out of love, with minimum stress and anxiety, you already are exceptional.

[wyattd]

Creativity without an audience!!! Ppl have really lost sight of this one!

[andrewng]

This is exactly what embedded in Attack on titan season 3 episode 11 when eren mum's ask the question 'is it wrong not to be special?'. It really brought tears to my eyes. If anyone know what i m talking about. The constant exposure to the idea that we have to be exceptional and extraordinary in order to be worthy is detrimental. Sometimes all we need is a assuring someone to tell us that ' Is OK to be ordinary'.

[jeremydiaz]

"we imagine that a quite life is something that only a failed person without option would ever seek"

[theaxisofinsight]

"Life is too short and the American dream is a lie." That statement couldn't be truer.

[killgriffinnow]

This 'need to be exceptional' is incredibly dangerous. Look at South Korea: everyone there has the idea that they need to grow up to work in a high paying, high status job. From the age of 3, children are forced to work in school until midnight, and exams are treated as the most important part of anyone's life. The result has been extreme anxiety and the highest suicide rates of anyhwere in the developed world. Add onto that the fact that, even if you want to become a doctor and get all A's in the exams, you find that all the doctor jobs are taken anyway and you have to take a job in Starbucks instead, because they have practiaclly no social safety net there. The idea that you have to be exceptional for its own sake, rather than pursue the kind of life that gives you fulfillment and peace of mind, is a horrible, toxic idea and it shocks me how often I hear it in society.

[bg]

This is what I’ve always said. The parents that pushed their kids typically lacked self worth and instead were vicariously living through their poor kid. The parents who had self esteem typically left their kids alone.