The rise of emotional manipulation as 'dark femininity'

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shot by John Lee

grip - Melissa Gasca

sound - Jason Mobley

edited by Ben Chinapen

edited by Timothy Hautekiet

gfx by Bethany Radloff

[theNever]

Tik Tok has a huge issue with fetishizing unhealthy behavior. It takes so much courage to be vulnerable and love someone authentically. It's a beautiful thing, and it breaks my heart how often people seek to undermine that beauty.

[vanillerygarden]

Never was a fan of manipulating someone to "love" me. Or chase me. People go out of their way to use dark psychology on someone rather than learning to honestly communicate their needs, so they don´t openly get rejected. The trick is to become resilient, not to avoid pain.

[farrahaliceblack]

My partner told me that one of the things that first attracted him to me was that I actually replied to messages fairly quickly. And that when I did leave it a bit, I almost always said "sorry I was busy" so he always knew that even if he sometimes had to wait a a bit, I'd never intentionally leave him on read because I genuinely looked forward to talking to him ❤️

[wasabi.]

Its so ironic to me how people are asking for more empathy towards everyone, but trends on social media are lacking said empathy the most.
Also, love the new longformat videos Anna! Keep it up!!

[traveler-a]

I’ve heard about toxic masculinity, but this dark femininity is news to me, thanks for informing us so perfectly and entertainingly

[MusiciansRule]

Between toxic masculinity and dark feminity, a lot of people are gonna end up absolutely miserable and exhausted. The effort put in to follow these tips/rules isn't worth the relationship wanted because the relationship will be unhealthy and you touched on that brilliantly. It's also scary to think about how many kids and teens on TikTok are seeing these types of videos and thinking the behavior is normal. It's not normal at all. It's dangerous.

[cartwrightworm]

Growing up, my mother taught me to respect women. She didn’t do it in a good way, it was kind of a “woman good, men bad” philosophy. Then I married a narcissistic woman and it was Hell. Now I hear about “dark femininity.” I think I’ll just stay single forever. It’s all such a mindfuck.

[pencildragon]

Yeah... I married a narcissist who, in hindsight used some of these tactics... it did not end well, and it died a slow torturous death as I tried to coparent our daughter with her. Years of therapy later, and having learned how to watch out for these manipulative red flags during the hell that is middle-aged dating, I met my second wife, and we moved slowly and cautiously, each of us opening up slowly, knowing the other had been hurt. We've been together for over a decade, and neither of us has raised our voice to the other (which is different than agreeing on everything, we don't.).

Therapy also prepared me help my daughter through her first divorce narcissistic now-ex-wife.

[marcello]

I feel very sorry for those men and women who have been deceived or disappointed by bad experiences with the opposite sex and end up in these toxic rabbit holes, manipulated by grifters who prey on their insecurities.

[duhastbitch]

It's so amazing that people spend so much time on how to be manipulative and toxic instead improving themselves.

[MintyArisato]

This is why the whole “gaslight gatekeep girl boss” thing is the worst thing ever. Why do people take pride in being cruel and tearing people down? The fact it’s a rarity to experience empathy and kindness is sending us down the darkest future.

[commonsens]

So true. I am a woman, and I dont buy BS from woman nor man. The time they start to acting like child, prideful and mind game, I am out. I called out one female coworker as petty cause she wanted to appeared to be "wanted". I called out man coworker who witholding communication and jeopardize a project just bcs he thought he is good looking and popular and I was the one who must communicate first. F them!

[shannan]

I texted my now fiancé less than an hr after our first date (best first date of my life, hadn't smiled or laughed like that in literal years), and asked him for a second date the next day. I am so glad that we never wasted a minute on games or manipulation or any of that. My unsolicited dating advice: be honest and vocal about your feelings and wants/needs, listen when the other person does the same, and never settle. If it's not a Hell Yes! it's a Hell No!

[jimbenzo]

Geez, this woman has single handedly shaped my adult life.

[unicee]

Honesty is the best filter. Show up as your authentic self and let things pan out as they should.

[tavenstrickert]

This happened in my psychology class once where we were learning about. Caldinis six principles of persuasion and someone in the back basically said so you're teaching us how to manipulate people and I turned around and I said sort of the thing is if you know how manipulation works, you know how to avoid it. And that's what's most important about lessons like this. Not to propagate the manipulation but to identify and prevent it from getting out of hand.

[theguynextdoor]

"How to become a narcissis for Dummies" should be name of these people's handbook. It's just ridiculous. I have been called boring by women, and "too nice" because I hate playing games. One said it's no mystery like her toxic ex would give her.

[Frutigirl]

"How to make him fall in love with you 🥵" Girl what happened to friendships developing into romantic ones and why do I have to be a dark empath? Kindness is beauty tbh.

[gymclasshero]

I’m 35 this year. Big trend I’ve noticed is it used to just be a “story” of someone saying that know someone who gaslight or was negative in relationship 15 years ago from another school or work, then it became you know someone and heard something bad from an associated social circle, then it became you would become shocked from some one in your direct social circle in terms of how they have acted and now it’s 51% plus of the dating marker playing games and causing grief for a myriad of different reasons, it’s actually insane what the youth are doing today and how messed up dating and social interactions have become.
Social media imo has done far more damage than good in its creation and use and the effects will be seen in decades to come of how badly it has damaged society.

[nikkinitrogen]

THANK YOU. This bs has been all over my fyp no matter how many times I hit "not interested." I love the idea of reclaiming the divine feminine, but I want to do that in a healthy, empowering way that welcomes people into my life without making them feel addicted and then in withdrawal from me. I lost an entire group of friends last year because they all subscribed to this dark feminine / dark empath / dark psychology bs and I didn't want that in my life.