Relationships: My PARTNER DOESN'T LISTEN

This question was asked from a woman, feeling lonely and left out in her relationship.

[angelcakesxXx]

We go in circles. He doesn’t listen so I repeat myself, which makes him want to repeat himself because he doesn’t think I’ve heard him. So I validate what he’s said and ask him to do the same for me. He never does.

[CarinaTeles-csox]

Thank you! But in my case I tell him a thousand times and although he truly loves me it doesn't work! I don't know what to do!

[loetaz]

Sad thing is she said your HUSBAND but what if it’s the woman who isn’t listening? Is she even interested?

[rose]

What you do when you say bab I feel sad. He turns and says your always sad then it just goes all bought what I am and he is not lol.

[moshiix]

my bf doesnt listen to me i dont know what to do. Can you please give me some advice on it. Thank you.

[TheOpelkoenjas]

Same here with my spouse, and this has been going on for over 20 years. Whenever I have to tell something, whatever that may be, she will NEVER EVER listen to one single word I'm saying. She just turns her head away or completely turns around and walk away from me, stops me mid sentence and starts talking about something that is completely unrelated to what I was trying to say. Just like today, literally less than an hour ago I called her after I made an emergency buy in the form of a second hand 21 gallon aquarium, for 50 bucks. The reason why I call it an emergency buy is because today I just found out that my (smaller) tank has - for some strange and odd reason - suddenly a crack on the bottom and has started leaking, so much that I have to refill it every half and hour. So I had to quickly find a replacement second hand one in order to be able to house my fish temporarily. So, made the call to my spouse, TRIED to explain what had happened and AGAIN she cut me off mind sentence. Not just that, she started yelling at me and cursing me out for having the balls to call her while she went shopping. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Hey hon, sorry to bother you sweetie, but I had a pretty urgent problem here and I had to
SHE: WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME??
Me: I had a problem with the aquarium and had to buy....
She: YOU KNOW THAT I DON"T LIKE BEING DISTURBED WHILE SHOPPING, IDIOT!! WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME????
Me: If you would stop interrupting me and stop yelling I might get the chance to explain! I had to buy a second hand aquarium, because ours just broke! (slightly getting annoyed there, as you can imagine after 20 years of the same treatment by her).
She: WHY DID YOU BUY ANOTHER AQUARIUM?? WE HAVE ONE!!!
Me: Didn't you listen? Ours just broke and I had to quickly find another one. I only payed 50 bucks, which is a real steal.
She: WHY DO YOU NEED ANOTHER AQUARIUM??
Me: ….. (at this point I had to bite my tongue and take a deep breath)
She: 80 BUCKS FOR AN AQUARIUM THAT YOU DON'T NEED, ARE YOU CRAZY???
Me: 50, not 80. And we DO need the thing, unless you want all our fish to die.
She: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU NEED A SECOND AQUARIUM????
Me: You didn't listen to one word I said, did you? Not a single word. STOP YELLING AT ME, I'M NOT YOUR DOG!!! OUR AQUARIUM JUST BROKE, OUR FISH ARE IN TROUBLE, I BOUGHT A SECOND HAND AQUARIUM FROM A GUY LIVING 15 MINUTES FROM HERE!! NOW CONTINUE DOING YOUR PRECIOUS SHOPPING FOR BULLSHIT THAT WE DON'T NEED! SEE YOU LATER!!!

At that point I just slammed the phone down and went outside to have a smoke to calm my nerves down. FYI: I quit smoking almost 2 years now!! That's how bad she gets under my skin. This conversation is just a tiny piece of what I have to endure 24/7, and this for well over 20 years now. I'm so done with her, you have no idea. I just want to pack my bags, leave and be happy again. But I'm just too scared of what she might do, knowing her she will literally try to ruin me in every way possible.

[Yeahthisismyprivacy]

Dating forever and he still doesnt hear me 😌

[ashleynunes]

Hey Linda, the two things my wife hates the most about me are that I don’t listen to her and some other thing she was going on about.!!

[ptsdchannel]

You know, if I said black, or mexican, people would go off on me as a racist. So Im curious why there is no outcry over this man bashing 24/7? Women do nothing wrong ever? Well, Ill never listen to another video of yours, thats for sure.

[muhammedhussain]

i am leaving her.she is mad for internet.she doesnt need Husband, But need internet.
she loves sleeping alone.

[lisazorro]

ACCUSATIONS OF NOT LISTENING IN COUPLEDOM ....

I'm not Lisa Zorro, I'm her fiance, Martin Camden, and we have this problem a lot ~ each accusing the other of not listening and, right now, each accusing the other of not letting the plaintiff other get a word in edgeways !! Then I, the male bridge-bulder, as I like to put it, try to clarify the situation by saying, "Look, darling, either we're both guilty of the same crime here, or one of us is a bigger problem than the other ~ which do you think it is !? ~ to which she replies, "Forget it", to which I reply, "I'm happy to carry on trying to sort this out, AND I can also be happy to forget it (as she's the one with the presenting issue), so by asking me to 'forget it', I'm going to assume that this means we're both happy to end this conversation for the time being unless you say otherwise", to which she says, "Forget it" again, to which I respond, "Deal", which then results in (blissful for me) silence FOR A WHILE !!

Then, a little later, she pipes up another presenting issue ~ this time she wants us to spend some of our spare cash on fixing a little cosmetic problem of hers that has been irritating her for a long time. This then reminds me of a clarification to our sometimes updated financial agreement that I had not fully run past her yet, so I vied for my turn to get in edgeways a sufficient number of words ~ a proposal that she immediately agreed to ~ HALLELUJAH !!

Then I explained a confusion about our benefits situation that I really should clarify first thing on Manday morning ~ then she told me that it had been HER that had cancelled our JOINT claim under advice from so called 'professionals' !!

Then I explained that I would be happy to agree with the benefits people on Monday as to whether we should stay on SEPARATE claims, or switch back to a JOINT claim ~ which she was then also okay about.

Then she was okay for me to continue (to get some more of MY words in edgeways), so I started to explain my latest financial plan update so as to gain her approval / agreement ~ and things have now been okay since then ~ but can anyone not see that, despite mutually identical allegations (both not listening / both not letting the other get a word in edgeways), one partner (in this case Lisa) is habitually more difficult than the other, and the other has to remain extremely skilful in gaining healthy resolution, rather than in ending up with the usual 2-way World War 3 histrionics on our hands yet again ~ OMG !!

And it's my contention that it's usually the woman who's the problem here in such a way that no third party notices, and such that the man gets the blame coz he's supposed to be the greater bully with threats of bigger muscles, and greater capacity for callousness, being his secret weapons of choice that typically result in the woman being / feeling (allegedly) outmanoeuvred / oppressed ~ and virtually everyone believes this shit although, typically, it's the women who's the bigger problem with the man simply not having the skills to control an out-of-control 'monster' (with an entitlement problem) without everyone thinking HE'S the problem ~ going as far as losing child custody battles unfarly, and then being financially shafted by brainwashed governments / brainwashed legal systems !!

Now, sometimes, to too often, to maybe more than 50% of the time, THE PROBLEM MAY BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND ~ but female victims get loads of free resources, where male victims get ignored, and the resultant male suicide rate doesn't seem to matter to anyone either, with female complaints being investigated and acted upon to the hilt, and men being expected just to take it, like the big ugly invulnerable disposable men that (allegedly) they are ~ but, typically, are not !!

Who can explain to me where I'm going wrong in my analysis here !?

And who can explain what should be done about this God-damned awful mess !?

And who can explain why Laura Doyle's answer is not one of the best so far, and who can also come up with some other potentially wonderful solution candidates in favour of family peace, harmony, happiness and maybe even some joy !? ~ see www.lauradoyle.org !?