Why fathers should be present at birth | Debrah Lewis | TEDxPortofSpain

In a world where absent fathers have become somewhat of a norm. Debrah Lewis provides viewers with some very insightful comments into why fathers might be absent throughout the life of their children. In this talk she outlines the role of the father in the childbirth process and the shortcomings of a system that does not offer fathers with opportunities to be fully engaged parents from birth to adulthood. We ask fathers to be involved in the life of their child, but deny them the right to be at the starting line, the birth. This talk asks to rethink the role of masculinity in the childbirth experience.

Debrah Lewis is the first Vice President of the International Confederation of Midwives from the Caribbean. After receiving an MSc in Nurse-Midwifery from Columbia University in 1986, she worked in New York as a public and private practice midwife and also volunteered in Africa. Lewis' leadership led to the formation of the Caribbean Regional Midwifery Association and the Trinidad and Tobago Association of Midwives. She is passionate about strengthening the network of midwives in the Caribbean and ultimately, the world.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

[ficklesick]

it's admirable that Trinidad has given a TEDx presentation like this, its about time. Well done Miss Lewis, well done.

[LisaEngleOptiMOMcoaching]

Such a powerful message!  Speaking from the perspective of my father having been at my birth, my children's dad w/ me and just 2 weeks ago tonight, with my son in law as he supported my daughter through their 1st birth.  Bravo!! You're sharing an IMPORTANT piece of the necessary changes to restore humanity to functioning in healthy states of compassion and Love.  Thank you.

[africanfathers]

Brilliant! This is really important - women do not get pregnant by divine intervention! We men need to be involved in our partners pregnancy - 50% of that child in the womb is you! More please!

[RectPropagation]

Such a wonderful talk. The information about outcomes for the newborn when the father is present was especially interesting. I've already had first hand experience with having better medical outcomes when my husband is there to advocate for me.

Which is why it's so disappointing that so many comments have turned this into a man vs woman thing or a zero sum game. I cannot understand the mindset that resists doing anything that would help your baby because it would also benefit the father. Love and support can be given to the father without taking anything away from the mother. And again, the father's involvement also helps the mother. The entire family benefits from the father's early involvement so why insist that it not happen?

[magnolia]

Wonderful video!! I’ve been advocating for fathers rights to be involved parents since my first pregnancy. It is so so important, and would solve a huge amount of the problems our society is facing! When fathers are present, families thrive, and when families thrive, our society thrives!

[dustinarmour]

This woman has such an amazing way of getting this point across . Amazing woman and amazing video! Its time to end the war on dads around the world.

[licimatt]

Yes, a paternity protection act similar to the maternity protection act, please! Make it mandatory for workplaces to provide paternity leave. This is very important for encouraging active fatherhood!!

[baruchservant]

I personally love this lecture, it a blessing to us over here as we eagerly look forward to receiving our first born.

[CloudTribe]

Might be the most important day of a mans life is the day he becomes a father. More than even marriage or having sex the first time. It's something that should be shared with us. Even in hospital births in north america men get pushed aside and ignored and they feel useless in the situation.

They should be allowed a more active role in the birth and catching and delivering the baby they helped make. I personally hope to be allowed to deliver my wifes baby when that day comes and be a significant factor on that day, not one that got forgotten about. 

[kirans]

Tears rolled down while hearing her speech
May good things happen to this woman
I will work towards educating and encouraging other fathers
(My wife's due date is nearing and I'm part of the birth process)

[candicethomas]

this is absolutely so important! I'm so happy that  some hospitals now encourage dads to also perform skin to skin

[AMAETV]

Ok, I cried at 9:36..Can't wait to have my baby with my hubby right there by my side ❤️

[kathitpatel]

I like that someone speaks about father

[katizkool]

I’m pregnant and my husband has been at every ultrasound we’ve done so far. It’s amazing to see his face light up when he sees baby pop up on the screen. He just holds my hand and keeps looking between me and the screen. He’s definitely going to be in the room and I’ve made it known to him and to our families that if there is only one person supporting me in the room it will be him. However, if things go according to plan we will also have our mothers and possibly a few sisters as long as they are able to stay quiet and calm and positive.

[taramccarthy]

I love her accent, and her message is important. New dads need support too.

[oreneileleratotshetlo]

How many single mom-to-bes are watching this alone rn? 🙃

[tamic]

I feel that as a woman it is our job to pave the way for the rights of a father to be involved, during child birth. We need more midwives and Doulas, less OB surgeons involved in the process of child birth. During this special time the only other person in the room who should be with the mother is the father. Not friends, sister's, or Mother's. There is time after that baby comes
into this world for the rest of the family to bond, but the day they are born is for the new Mom and Dad.
Men need to want to be a part of the process and quit sitting on the sidelines. Help the mother pick a hospital or to birth at home. If the hospital in your area doesn't offer accommodation for the father, keep looking. Hospitals are a business and there are plenty to choose from. Don't settle because of convenience.
A father's job is to help and protect the Mom and child . We need to get back to our basic instincts . Trust what feels right.

[flmcghee]

Well done Ms. Lewis.  Well done indeed.

[pinds]

Never met my father in my life. I was raised by my mom alone. Yet, miraculously, I turned out to be a normal human being. So tired of hearing about how hopeless fatherless children are. Everyone focuses on the negative, but don't like to talk about those of us who are living normal lives. Repeatedly telling fatherless children that they're going to turn out to be drug addicted, alcoholic criminals with mental health problems is setting them up for failure.

[presentfatherhood]

I totaly agree with this, I was denied access for my child's birth and it was so painful, worse, i have been playing catch up ever since.