Living abroad is NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL!

There’s this theme I’ve seen among my own subscribers and elsewhere in this living abroad niche. It’s that life abroad is a certain way and that all of us -- expat or immigrant -- in France belong to this homogeneous group made up of people with the same experiences and ideas. It’s just not accurate. Let’s talk about some truths about living abroad in France or anywhere.

❤️ / / B L O G

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Salut! I'm Diane, an American who has lived in France since 2012 and the creator of the blog/YouTube channel Oui In France. My channel's focus is "Everyday French life and beyond." I make videos on French culture topics, France vs. US culture comparisons, food, travel, language, and give you my thoughts about what it's like living in France as an American in the Loire Valley. Thanks for being here and if you enjoy this sort of thing, please share with friends and subscribe!

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[MissNCGirl]

I grew up before the internet and social media were part of our daily lives. I've noticed that people will say things to others from their keyboards that they never would have said while facing them. It's a shame.

[brodee]

Hey! I totally agree with you. I’m French /Australian, grew up in Australia, lived in Asia for a long time and because of Covid I ended up in France. What a blessing though. Living in France is wonderful and super difficult at the same time. I moved here with my American husband and 2 dogs in 2020 for good, .. with little French language skills, it was so challenging . Now, we’ve tried to assimilated as much as possible and we still struggle. We live in a little seaside village in the north of France and we have no choice but to learn the language and adapt. There are so many perks to living in France than other western countries and I know first hand it’s not easy either, but I wouldn’t change it at all.

[MsMamabo]

I think the critical thinking and exploration of all aspects of life in France, looking at both the good and the bad, is one of the most helpful aspects of your channel! We love France and we have been considering moving to France for some years. Now that my husband has retired it’s getting closer to a reality for us. We know though that there are things in France that we absolutely love and there are things that we will find more of a challenge. We’ve just spent a month visiting a couple of the regions that we have been thinking about moving to and just trying to experience the day to day life there, rather than thinking of ourselves as tourists and that was very revealing and helpful. Thanks for all the really interesting and realistic content that you share. We’re going back in the autumn for some more research and you always give us things to think about.

[sandrad]

Thank you, Diane, for sharing your perspectives of living in France. Great video!

[marcbeaufrere]

Hello / bonjour. I am French and I would have never have imagined that living in France comes with the pressure of living in the perfect country. I love my country, I have lived and travelled elsewhere, but I couldn't live anywhere else, yet I imagined people would feel the same about their own country. Is it because of some romanticized image of France ?

[mgparis]

Good points (comme d'hab :) Diane!
Being French, I think there's the same assumption about the so-called American dream... the "anything is possible" mindset, that everything is easier... which, of course, is not necessarily true. Also, some Americans assuming that everyone dreams of living in the US.
Personally, having in the US (Boston), I honestly didn't find my experience that different from living in Paris - as you said, working in an office, grocery shopping, paying bills etc. As you put it, there is no right or wrong way to live anywhere!

[stayfocused]

So true! I love your genuine way of putting all these social media people with un-lived lives back in their place! I feel exactly the same way as a French living in the US. I love living in the US, but I don't like everything. Food sucks, so does the health care system. When I visit France, I am so happy for the first days, and then, reality sinks in, I know why I left! Last time I went to France for the the funerals of a family member, the French administration drove me completely bonkers. That is just one example. Life abroad is not all roses and peaches. Life, wherever you live, comes with life and death, money issues, isolation, depression, disappointment, betrayal, sickness, and also wonderful people and moments.
Social media is responsible for most of these critics and this rudeness coming from anonymous - usually younger people - who have not yet had a real life. Real Life is analogue, lived on the terrain. Digital life is an illusion, sometimes a dangerous one.
It is like traveling videos. I have traveled a lot. I see sometimes videos of places I have visited which appear to be so idyllic. The garbage on the beach, the drunk people, the endless traffic, the huge amount of beggars and homeless people, the noisy construction site near the perfect hotel, none of this is mentioned.

[amyspeers]

I love my life in France. Do I miss things in the US…YES! It’s not perfect but it’s my life.

[branlotin]

You're very right, it's up to everyone to find the place they feel the best at, and it doesn't necessarily mean they find it perfect either. I've met french people who had moved to North America, Canada or USA, and who liked it better there and wouldn't come back except on holidays.

[punditgi]

100% d'accord avec vous, Diane. Brava, signora! 😊

[donnabennett]

Thank you Thank you Thank you
This was truly extraordinary! I appreciate all the time and information you put out.

[aliciamehling]

I completely agree with your discussion in this video. I have been in France for almost a year after being accepted into an educational program. While I don't regret my decision and am am happy to have the education and opportunities I've received, the "experience" that is sold about living abroad is an unrealistic standard. Living abroad is not a continuous vacation, it's life and it can still be incredibly frustrating.

[peppertree]

Yep, poeple tend to forget that 'wherever you go, there you are' with our every day life as usual. It's ourselves that have to make our lives beautiful and meaningful.
...and, 👍to everything else you said!

[johnbarelli]

Your perspective is very helpful, and not just for people moving to France. Everything you said here applies equally well to our lives here in Sicily, and probably every other country that people move to. My wife and I both watched your videos while we were deciding whether we wanted to try this whole "living abroad" thing in the first place, and later to prepare ourselves for our lives here. So, thank you. 😃

[littlegeo]

I feel like this is a really timely video and topic as there were a few articles circulating recently regarding American expats moving back to the US from popular expat retirement locations such as Portugal. The article seemed to somewhat shame those who made the choice to move abroad without being fully prepared, but as we know life happens and things come up and we cannot know everything all the time. The articles "take" upset me because these people were just trying to live their lives and figure it all out and when they realized it wasn't for them, they're met with an "I told you so" type of attitude.

[savorsalvagescent]

Thank you for this! I love your videos. I got some of this « you should » just today and I haven’t even moved to FR yet, I just posted about my travels + recommendations there. I think you ate masterful at balancing what you ‘re grateful for but also the realness of living day to day. So generously, and I thank you! Merci beaucoup.

[yaowsers]

You are absolutely spot on! The grass is not completely greener on the other side. The other side will have yellow or dead patches just like on this side. It's just in different places😊. And for the love of God, people need to stop judging others. 🙄

[teriwittig]

Thank you so much for this! I really needed to hear this right now. We have only lived here in France for a year and we have definitely had our fair share of struggles, including the language barrier. We have been shamed by friends and family for not having what they would consider a perfect life abroad (think the posh downtown Paris life). Not only is that not in our budget but it’s not in most people’s budget lol. Although we do live near the capital, we enjoy a quieter life in a town outside of the city and we love our life here, even with the challenges lol. And just like most, we have a very typical life just like you described. So thank you for being so caring and supporting and reminding me that I really do love my life here and I need to not listen to the naysayers.

[buddyneher]

So well-expressed, Diane. In a bit of synchronicity, some of the things you say here echoed an interview I heard today with Susan Cain, author of "Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole." I like that you are tuned in to the wholeness and realness of life, and the importance of compassion for others as well as ourselves. I only wish that the people who shame, dismiss and are rude and insensitive would engage in some self-reflection after watching this video. Thanks for putting it out there.

[Simon-zbfp]

Bonjour Diane - Thank you for another great video. Some humour on YouTube which show some of the cliches I am sure you have come across. Foil Arms and Hog - Getting past French Immigration - also Everyone loves unsolicited advice - the perfect antidote to Not One Size fits all. Hope it makes you smile - Oh yes and the video I love which fits the people in your video - foil arms and Hog video called Gentrification - salut!