How To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling

Would you like to know how to get kids to listen without yelling? Sometimes our kids don't listen to us until after we've asked them 10 times and resort to yelling. While we are training them, they are training us.

I share ways that encourage them to listen without any yelling.

2 Rules:
1. Some things you control, other things you don't.
2. Pay attention to the things you do control.

Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins

HELP & RESOURCES:
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MUSIC
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Track: Kisma - We Are [NCS Release]
Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds.
Licensed under Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0

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Video by Nate Woodbury

[nsleavitt]

Watch this at 1.5 speed. You're welcome.

[Banyo__]

This reminds me of a story I heard years ago about a mom frustrated with trying to get her older kids to clean their rooms. She said to them, you can pick up your clothes, and your stuff off the floor or I can do it for you, but you won't like it when I clean up because I like my rooms to be spotless. The kids of course, ignored this, and they came home to rooms that were bare. She'd left them with a set of night clothes, their school uniforms and sports gear, and pens and paper to write on, but everything that was on the floor or otherwise not put up was gone. They then had to earn each item back one day at a time by proving everyday that they could clean up after themselves and keep things tidy. Yeah, those kids learned to respect what their mom said after that!

[rachealgondo]

I’m a teacher of 3-6yo children. My way of getting their attention without yelling is talking to them politely and I always have to be intentional about it. I make eye contact, I try my best not to call them from a far. I make sure I get their attention before I start talking. It works.

[danettemckinnon]

My sister taught me decades ago to give your children choices but that both of the choices were in your favor and let me tell you it worked like a dream.

[jadakiss]

I didn’t think this would work. And I just tried it with my 4 year old & worked like a charm! I didn’t raise my voice. Gave her 2 options. Clean your room or go to bed and she said “I will clean my room” and I said “okay”. We shall see what tomorrow brings ! Thanks

[theflyingspaghettimonster]

This guy is a genius ive been using this for the past 2 weeks on my two year old girl and i was so suprised to see that this did work. Ive been using it with everything. This morning my lil girl didnt wanna put her clothes on. My wife was having so much trouble and so i said let me see if this will work and i told ava " daddys gonna give you two choices, u can put your clothes on or daddy can put your clothes on, and i handed her the shirt and she did try to put it on but after she couldnt do it she gave it to me and sit still while i put it on her. I was so freaking happy.

[ChrissyBeTalking]

I need to watch this once a week, so I can remember!!!

[squirrelslayer]

This is great. I’m a grandma now but as a mom I was a yeller, none of my kids are, but my daughter with kids gives them 1000 warnings. I just sent her this so we can both learn correctly 👏👏👏👍

[ashleysmith]

The first time I watched this, it had become time for my 3 year old to go to bed. I told him it's bedtime. He said no. I told him, "You can either walk up to bed yourself, or I can carry you". He wanted me to carry him of course, but it was a choice I was okay with. And he went to bed perfectly fine, no tantrums and no yelling from mom <3

[diamondkendall]

Im a single mom of a three year old. I’m 23 and he’s my first child so I’m just winging it. Idk why it took me so long to finally find your channel!!!

[PaulSmithVPS]

"Our kids train us…to respond to them in a way that they've trained us to respond to them."
Nice sentence. ;-)
(and great info)

[ashlieleavelle]

Parents need to be in authority, and not let the kids run the house. Good video.

[thomashackerforgedknives]

As a classroom teacher, this is the simplest and most practical advice I have heard to manage my teenage classroom. Thank you sir!!

[rw]

You are a Godsend. I prayed the other night for God to lead me to effective discipline for my child and I came across 2 of your videos, this being one of them. I applied this technique and for 2 days now my 5 year old son's behavior has been calm and pleasant and I and my husband have been more calm and pleasant. Thank you so much for your wonderful and helpful advice. God bless you dearly.

[ManiJane]

I am a childcare teacher they teach us this in school. Some parents would benefit from taking the early childhood class. It gives you an insight on children that is mind blowing. Most people have a hard time with 2-3 year olds. At that age they act on impulse. Giving them choices is the best way to go believe me. Or you will give yourself a headache.

[acbd]

I'm a homeschool mom and I work 12 hour nights at a hospital in the ICU.

My husband is not much help, and doesn't get involved with the children. Our girls are 6 and 2 and wow!! I hide in the restroom or closet at least 5xs a day to cry because I hate yelling but the girls run a muck and really do not listen about anything.

I try to reach out to family for help but it always comes with judgement rather than with genuine advice or actual help.

I love my children, they are the biggest blessing and the best gift that the Lord ever gave to me, so, for me, it's such a horrible feeling when you feel defeated against your own children.

God bless you. Thank you for this video. Currently in the restroom crying at 10 a.m. 😂 I'll dry these tears and get back to steppin' with this advice at heart.

[victor-dh]

This was so awesome. Yelling at my kids is breaking my heart. I love them too much. This was so helpful in your delivery. Thank you!

[kursorken]

My lesson is the kids learn from parents' behavior. If you yell, get angry and frustrated, they will start doing those too. So if you don't want your kids to get mad, frustrated, or yell, you better not. Those are the things you control and make sure you control them well.

[dem-ming]

thank you so much for this... I hate yelling at my son...thank you..

[Squirrely_Squirrel]

I have been butting heads with my 5 year old. It’s like a switch flipped and suddenly he wanted to argue about literally everything. He would tell me no. I fell into that trap of raising my voice to get him to listen. The day was just packed with ineffective time outs. Day after day of this was wearing on both of us. We were just grumpy around each other.

Then I stumped across these videos in my search for help. I am not kidding you guys, the first day I tried giving choices, the first day I told him that I was only going to ask once. He tested one time and I followed through. Today is day 3 and we haven’t had a single time out. He’s listen the first time almost every time (exceptions being near to bedtime so expected, but I still followed through).

I went from feeling almost resentful when the day would start, knowing it was going to be another day of battling and tantrums and timeouts. Now I’m eager to go get him when he starts to wake up in the mornings. Motherhood has become joyful for me. Thank you so so much, from the bottom of my sanity, thank you.