Grade 9 Student Essay Power and Conflict (Mr Salles) ft. Bayonet Charge and Exposure

0:00 Essay question
0:22 How to plan
1:06 Which poem to compare
2:50 Thesis statement
3:40 How to start
4:31 How to STRUCTURE your essay
6:00 What CONTEXT gets marks
7:20 Form and structure in the mark scheme
12:17 Conflict in NATURE
17:44 SYMBOLISM and how to analyse it
19:30 What CONTEXT doesn't get marks
24:00 Examiner's advice on SYMBOLISM
25:09 ALTERNATIVE INTERPRETATION and how to do it

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[aidanprentice]

Thank you for another grade 9 essay example I recently did a comparison between bayonet charge and exposure in a mini mock in class so this is quite convenient for me.

[stardreamix]

I remember doing this in the exam - I chose exposure!

[RD-hotv]

Great video! Big up Isum great piece of work!

[roadflames]

Wow what coincidence.I got this question this friday when i sat my mock. Hoping i do well

[plobexican]

Sir i dont know if you know this but at around 4:40 the screen blacks out and we cannot see the essay

[Real.Mr.Salles]

Hello sir, could you please mark this:

Man is often portrayed as being in conflict with nature. Explore the ways in which nature is portrayed as the enemy of man in 'Exposure' and one other poem from 'Power and Conflict'. [30 marks]

The poem 'Exposure' was a protest poem written by Wilfred Owen about his experiences in the trenches of WW1. Despite the traditional wartime dangers of guns and bombs, the biggest enemy of man is presented as nature, which is viewed as more powerful and threatening. 'The Prelude' is an epic poem describing the moment the poet's view of nature changed when he encountered a large mountain as a young boy and realised the danger it posed to humanity. In 'Exposure', the threat created by nature was mainly physical, where as in 'The Prelude', it was mostly psychological.

In 'Exposure', nature is first introduced as a threat in the first line- the 'merciless iced east winds' 'knive' the soldiers. This is a violent action, and as winds cannot have 'mercy', they are personified to reflect their cruetly and status as a direct enemy opposed to man rather than a neutral natural occurrence. First person plural pronouns such as 'Us' and 'our' to show that the impacts of the destructive power of nature are universal, and this creates a sense of comradeship among the soldiers. We could also assume that the enemy must be affected by such harsh weather conditions. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if the fighting ended. The opening phrase of the poem 'Our brains ache' is particularly significant - this was inspired by the start of a poem by John Keats 'My heart aches'. Keats was a Romantic poet, and this original line reflected how happy he was made by the beauty of nature. Owen read a lot of Keats' poetry during his early life, and he had initially believed that poems should focus on beauty, until after entering the trenches of WW1, he realised that poems must cover harsh and painful subjects, such as war. In contrast to the Romantic movement, which celebrates the beauty of nature, nature is seen as the common enemy of all of humanity in Exposure.

In 'The Prelude', nature is initially presented as a friend of humanity. This is symbolised by the opening line 'One summer morning (led by her) I found'. This creates a very vivid (as he remembers one particular morning) and almost romantic image of nature. At this point in his life, Wordsworth clearly viewed man as equal to nature, rather than as being in conflict with it. However, it is implied that he had known the truth about man's inferiority all along, and had been subconsciously supressing it. 'Led by her' is placed in brackets, as though as an afterthought. He was being led and controlled by a personified version of nature, reflecting its dominance. Unlike in 'Exposure', he believes in the façade of his own power and is 'Proud of his skill' of being able to row the boat straight. The poem is split into roughly three sections - the first, at which he is in love with nature, the second, where he becomes terrified of nature, and the third, where he reflects philosophically on his encounter with nature. The entire poem is one long stanza, initially reflecting his enchantment with the natural world, but soon coming to suggest he is emotionally overwhelmed and unable to comprehend what he has witnessed. There is significant enjambment throughout the first section as he paints beautiful, pastel images of the 'glittering' 'moon' and the 'sparkling light' reflecting off of the water.

Rather than enemy soldiers, the narrator believes the real threat is that which is posed by nature - the only force capable of causing man's extinction. In the fourth stanza 'Sudden successive flights of bullets streak the silence' uses sibilance. The soft sounds may suggest that the narrator is not afraid of enemy gunfire, and may even be welcoming death as an escape from the perpetual suffering and purposelessness of war. Malicious nature seems to kill more people in war than the enemy - cold air comes 'feeling for our faces' with 'fingering stealth'. This is deliberate, and the fricative alliteration emphasises the brutality and the relentlessness of such extreme weather conditions. The wind is seen as allied with the enemy as it 'Attacks' in 'shivering ranks of grey'. Grey was the colour of the German soldiers' uniforms. Dawn, which is supossed to symbolise light, hope and a new day, is not portrayed in the positive way it is in most poems (which directly rejects Romantic beliefs about nature) - it 'mass[es] in the east [its] melancholy army'. A fight against nature being hopeless due to the latter's immense power is again shown in the last stanza. The soldiers attempt to stay warm with a fire, but the flames burn like 'dark-red jewels'. Precious, but cold.

In 'The Prelude', nature's effect on the narrator is mainly psychological. His thoughts are left tourmented for days after encountering such 'huge and mighty' forms of nature. The young boy is profoundly affected and left in a state of 'darkness', either 'solitude / Or blank desertion'. He now understands the unsafe position of humanity in the world, and realises how weak it is in contrast to the hugeness of nature. He does not fully describe what he now thinks of nature, rather what he cannot. There are 'no pleasant images of trees', and 'no colours of green fields'. The technique of polysyndeton is used as 'no' is repeated to describe what there is not. This creates a picture of a terrifyingly powerful nature, incomprehensible to humans due to the weaknesses of our minds. The strength of nature is 'unknown' to humans. This poem serves as a warning to not underestimate the power of the natural world. When the poet was young, he made the mistake of thinking he could challenge nature and dominate it. It is likely that William Wordsworth wanted people to remember their place in the world and understand their limited levels of power.

In conclusion, both poems present fairly similar images of nature, both presenting nature as the greatest enemy of man rather than other humans. 'The Prelude' describes the poet's initial, romanticised views of nature, before he realised its sheer immensity. 'Exposure' presents nature as the ultimate killer of man in war - 'Shrivelling many hands' and causing people to freeze to death before 'bullets' can reach them. Nature is potrayed as a 'merciless' and 'mad' enemy, dangerous because it is not a human and has no control over itself.

[AdhyaKurikayar]

When we are revising, would you recommend to have flashcards with the quote on one side and then the analysis on the other side? If I have memorised ideas for some quotes from one poem, how do I then make a thoughtful comparison with another poem ?

[oliviatomato]

which 4 poems do you recommend to learn?

[Hellocacita]

Hello Mr Salle does your power conflict books long and short essays are they all grade 9 full essays?

[ayittahj]

7:30 was CRAZY (JOKING ABT COTTON PICKING ON PLANTATIONS )

[harisqadeer]

I'm a slow writer and can write max 700 words in the alloted time for eng lit essays. How can I maximise my time to ensure that i can reach the grade 9?

[najmallayl]

Hello sir, I do not mind what you do with this essay, I just would like you to correct it, if you may, especially structure and PEE sentences, because I know that I struggle with structuring my answer, writing conclusions and theses, and writing short sentences, including embedding quotes, as I can memorise quotations and do PEE paragraphs, but I take very long.

This took me 1 hour 15 mins.

The question is "Explore how Shakespeare presents the consequences of unchecked ambition." (in Macbeth)

Shakespeare presents the consequences of unchecked ambition through it causing the devolution of Macbeth's valorous, loyal and regal status to a nihilistic and tyrannical ruler that has disobeyed the Natural Order and has abandoned God, and Lady Macbeth's presentation as a ruthless and unnatural temptress that yearns for power, vicariously through her husband.

Macbeth states in a soliloquy that "I have no spur / To prick the sides of my intent, but only Vaulting ambition, which / o'erleaps itself / And falls on the other", which is Macbeth admitting that he has no rational, logical argument that can justify his desire for murdering King Duncan, apart from his "Vaulting ambition, which o'erleaps itself / And falls on the other", which has connotations of being uncontained and erratic, "o'erleap[ing] itself" and causing Macbeth to thin the ice between a lust for power and eternal damnation in Hell, demonstrating how Macbeth's mental faculties have been corrupted by his hamartia of an unchecked ambition, and foreshadows how this "Vaulting ambition" will soon condemn the Macbeths.

Furthermore, in Act 2, Scene 1, Macbeth sees a dagger and confusingly asks, "Is this a dagger which I see before me [...] I have thee not, and yet I see thee still", which directly contrasts the epitomic description of "His brandish'd steel, which smoked with bloody execution", as daggers symbolises assassination and subsequently, cowardice and timidity, which reflects Macbeth's current state of mind and attitude to the regicide his about to commit upon King Duncan, whereas a "brandish'd steel" has connotations of courage and bravery, demonstrating how Macbeth's "vaulting ambition" to gain power has led him to fall to cowardice and regicide.

Similarly, Lady Macbeth says, In Act 1, Scene 5, "Come, you spirits / That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, / And fill me from the crown to the toe topful / Of direst cruelty!" Lady Macbeth is calling upon beings whom aren't God, which was seen as a heinous and heretical crime by the contemporary Jacobean audience, as it was seen as idolatry and sharing partners with the Christian God, demonstrating how Lady Macbeth's ambition to be "unsex[ed]" has caused her to indirectly abandon God and her chances of redemption in the afterlife by sharing partners with Him. Furthermore, she asks them to "fill me from the crown to the toe topful / of direst cruelty", which demonstrates how she has strayed from her womanly traits of kindness and tenderness, and has further strayed from God and her salvation to Heaven.

Furthermore, Lady Macbeth commands her husband to "look like the innocent flower, / But be the serpent under't", which shows how she has further subverted the gender stereotypes for a woman in the Jacobean Era and instead of being submissive to her husband, she has commanded him, demonstrating how her vicious desire to kill the King and to gain power has caused her to further stray away from her womanly nature and Christian values, as she has been ordered in the Bible: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." The clear biblical allusion to the Garden of Eden and to how Eve, after eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, convinced Adam to do the same, after being tempted by the "serpent", who is the devil, demonstrates how Lady Macbeth symbolises Eve and the "serpent", who is trying to tempt and convince Macbeth, who is 'Adam', to murder the King.

Macbeth's nihilistic dialogue further cements the harrowing effects of his "Vaulting ambition", causing him to become disinterested in living any longer, and to lament upon how "Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, " the words "shadow" and "poor" signifying how the light has been lifted, as he has said "Out, out, brief candle"; there is no hope nor salvation any longer for Macbeth, as he has went against the Divine Right of Kings and the Natural Order. He further laments upon how life is " [...] Told by an idiot, ", which is an insulting blow and a heretical distrust in God, demonstrating how Macbeth sees his life as a satirical joke, one "Told by an idiot", whom has predestined it for him, therefore "Signifying nothing", and being completely void of meaning and purpose, demonstrating how Macbeth's pursuit and ambition for power has caused him to lose his purpose in life, to abandon God and all hopes of deliverance from his situation.

In conclusion, the subsequential and gradual fall from royalty, loyalty and stability in their pre-destined positions as regal members high in the Natural Order, to lowly, tyrannical and insane heretics, due to their unchecked and uncontained ambition, which is arguably both of their hamartias.