Overcoming Dyslexic Perfectionism: Strategies and Insights

Perfectionism and dyslexia are connected. Perfectionism seems to develop during childhood when acceptance, approval, and affection are lacking. Many dyslexics have experienced the feeling of not receiving any recognition or understanding while attending school.
A recent study explored the link between perfectionism and dyslexia, warning against adopting perfectionist self-presentation. Doing so can hinder our ability to manage our dyslexia in a helpful and effective way. To overcome perfectionism, it's essential to first recognize it. Without awareness, we cannot take steps to prevent it. So, I decided to share signs of perfectionism with you that are typical for dyslexics. Towards the end of the video, I included strategies on how to manage perfectionism, such as focusing on the bigger picture or gradually desensitizing oneself.

⏰ Timetable:
00:00 - Dyslexia & Perfectionism
01:02 - Why does it develop?
01:53 - How to recognize Perfectionism?
03:22 - What can you do about it?

🙋🏼‍♂️ My name is Arije, and I am a dyslexic with an MA in Education Studies. I aim to share all my tips for learning, coping, teaching, and more on my channel. For dyslexics, educators, and parents alike, I want to make videos that inform and inspire you to reframe dyslexia.
#mentalhealth #dyslexia

COACHING & CONSULTATION

Here's some of the literature I consulted to create this video:
Stoeber, J., & Rountree, M. L. (2021). Perfectionism, self‐stigma, and coping in students with dyslexia: The central role of perfectionistic self‐presentation. Dyslexia, 27(1), 62-78.
Perfectionistic Self-Presentation Scale (PSPS)

[ArijeAikedeHaas]

Usually, my wife looks over my video description and the other written Posts. But I just told all of you to face your fears gradually so I guess I have to walk the talk now. 😃 So I did not do that this time and it feels slightly uncomfortable, but let's do this together.

[jamesmoore]

I've always thought of it as failure avoidance and others judging me in myself. Thanks again for opening up this can of worms and it's source for me to see. Procrastination is certainly a big part of it - IE If I'm not finished with it then nobody can judge me.

[lisagalley]

Great to see science-based info on dealing with perfectionism. Slight pushback here: people with dyslexia dealing with perfectionism is real but so is discrimination against people with dyslexia. The perfectionism that dyslexics feel isn't just in their heads. Its a response to active discrimination from family and society with lifelong material consequences -- bullying, lower paying jobs, fewer life and work opportunities. Changing your inner attitude towards how you view yourself does nothing to defend yourself and even fight against people using the little spelling, speaking and other mistakes you might make in public and in your work to bully you, push you out of your job, deny you proper education, income, promotions, etc. that you have earned and deserve.

[samanthabroadway]

Omg you have just helped me with my daughter so much. This is her. We have been struggling she’s only 9 and dyslexic (apparently rly it’s very bad) and this answers so much about her. I started following you to learn more and how I could help her (I’m adhd and ocd and living with a tbi) this today thought answered so much about her

[deryakk]

Your videos sometimes make me cry. I'm sorry to have dyslexia.

[jaymeleonhard]

Yes, true! I had to get over mistakes when working become remote and linking coworkers through teams chat. I noticed others making small mistakes too but there is not the time to perfect what you are typing. I am open about my Dyslexia but I myself still having high expectations of myself because I feel I’m always going to be less than others. To get through grades k-12 I had to push myself so hard I feel that if I’m not working yo the point of burnout I won’t make it. Like if I am not hurting I won’t make the cut. This has led to multiple burnouts.

[emmahill]

This sounds like an interesting form of masking.

[purplewombat]

Thank you for these eye opening videos!

[joannalenowitz]

30 seconds in, and i alreay feel so called out xD

[DavidJVMusic]

I ... never tho't about this before as perfectionism but I'm sure I'm OCD. Is there a clinical difference? But ya, in public I don't like messing up. I have to supervise a working group(too often) of people on job sites. Does anyone like messing up? Anyways.... I would really, all my life, wish people could see how hard I work on everything but they don't. Do I hide it, I don't know... No one in my entire life has paid enough attention to me or my processes to find out, even from childhood.

[positivity]

Hi Arije, just bumped on to your channel today..
Few q s
1. Do dyslexic people need any therapy, perhaps not as it is just a different way of thinking..but do they need therapy for associated trauma or sensitivity?
2. What if a person denies of dyslexia or associated trauma and does not want to take any therapy, how to help them?

[JodieAdam]

I've started randomly signing off emails "thansk" just to leave a little mistake sometimes.

[craigphillips-]

Maybe I'm too far gone, lol, but I think perfectionism, and striving for it, can be a great quality! As long as we don't judge ourselves too harshly for our mistakes. Perfection in work can mean everything! And peoples' perception of you IS important for your gaining their respect especially if they are your boss and bosses boss. I don't know about you, but if I needed a surgeon, mathematician, car mechanic, heck, even a restaurant server, I'd want a perfectionist.

[FizzyMcPhysics]

I had no idea this was a success affect of dyslexia. Between this and my other ND traits in very self conscious!

[baumkuchen-treecake]

I have dyslexia and I'm I'm insecure about it. I don't want to be juged

[thuggie]

i tend to do this more out frustration which results inhateing myself also when people laugh because i spelt a word wrong that spikes my anxierty

[jaytouche]

I like to let it flow how it comes because it may be confusing to them at first ...it makes them stop and reset because what I am saying is not in there autopilot database so now they are at a crossroads either dismiss it as junk or turn on a different section of their brain that is new information

[giselle-lm]

I have had perfectionism for years since a child in primary school so it's bigger then a habit. how do I help myself now

[jaytouche]

That's y I like one on one conversation I'm lost in translation...in writing.... people I work with say it's like learning a different language when speaking to me and if they worked with me for a good while they can't use terms like for instance in or out is used for gauging material I need take more material off or less material...I'm a machinist

[darthjarjarbinks]

I did not get much on the test but i am pretty sure i am somewhat becuse i hate writing stuff in school becuse i just keep getting mad the one word is wrong then i just can not get back to work until a good time after