r/Relationships My Idiot Son Killed my Grandkid

0:00 Intro
0:10 My ears
1:45 Comment
2:39 Family loss
5:46 Comment
6:02 Concerning texts
8:41 Controlling

[stormfischerr]

the mom is so obsessed with her daughter’s appearance and life because her own childhood was cut short by becoming a parent. she wants to vicariously relive her childhood that was cut short through her daughter.

[ellafrost]

Extreme behavior manifested by illness is still grounds to leave. You could suffer permanent hearing loss… :(

[itsybitsybosmer]

Last story: I wonder if there is also some projection on the mom's part, wanting to live vicariously through her daughter and have the high school life she couldn't have because she got pregnant so young. This doesn't excuse her gross behavior, but it is very sad. Also, Ma'am your daughter is 16, she has plenty of time to find someone, get married, and have kids later on down the line if that's what she wants to do with her life. It's not like she's going to end up a spinster if she's not married by 22.

[silverflight]

Story 4: At least the wife eventually realized that she couldn't just tell her daughter what outfits and colors to pick. Every child has some style they like, and it's okay.

And hey, as R/ said, there absolutely will be people that love the daughter's aesthetic, and boom, a new family! You just need time

[fennicfox]

Story 2: I'm a child of whooping cough. I'm just lucky enough to survive. But my lungs are permanently damaged, i won't be able to breathe right, and I'll have chronic asthma for the rest of my life

Those parents better vaccinate their kids cause one baby isn't the end, friends and family will never let them in their lives, they will be shunned, and those kids will be shunned. This has already reached a level of hazardous

[MisterNightfish]

Story 1: OP describing this abuse as a "hobby" is surreal. Run. Run. Run. Who cares if she's bipolar? That's a context, not an excuse.

[ajjamsen]

13:11 "I understand my wife wants someone she can relate to..."
No, she wants someone she can move around and play with like a doll. She's losing her mind cause she can't treat her like a Barbie doll

[SteviiLove]

Story 2 is legitimately so sad because it was completely avoidable if people weren't so scared of vaccines and medicine in general.
I know I'd never be able to forgive my brother if his kids caused me to lose my kid.
I already had enough of an issue with dealing with constant sickness and the occasional lice because of my niblings and their mom was a nurse who believed in vaccines and medicine.
My heart goes out to OP and her daughter.

[annegriswold]

Last story: Your children are not dolls, or extensions of you to fulfill some fantasy you have for them or yourself. They are their own people and the Wife came pretty damn close to having her Daughter be estranged from her as well. From the update it sounds like things are back on the right track, though OP should keep an eye on the Wife to make sure she doesn't pull that shit again.

[GrifoStelle]

As the goth kid obsessed with tarot, witches, occult, and aliens.
Chill, mom. This is the time to do all of that. If you want to be around when the grandbabies are: proove that you can be around a kid (*your kid*) you disagree with without becoming a detriment to them or yourself.

[jestmaki]

As someone who is bipolar, it's still her fault. Regardless of your illnesses, intentional actions are still your own.

EDIT: I didn't realize anyone would even read this. Bipolar is very nuanced. It is on the same spectrum as Schizophrenia and has many overlapping symptoms. I don't mean to diminish the suffering we go through or the fact that delusions can make you believe some VERY bizarre things and even hurt others thinking you're helping them.
I am of the opinion that acknowledging and taking responsibility for your actions, even under delusions, is important to help mentally keep yourself in check and seek help. But I also acknowledge that I may have a better sense of when I'm acting irrationally than others.

If you know someone going through this, please let them know they need to seek help, but never put yourself at risk. If they refuse treatment you have the right to distance yourself.

[ancientsociety]

1st story: OP needs new doctors if two of them can't diagnose something as simple as water in your ears

[nerdtanker]

Family loss story: Wtf you KNEW your kids were sick and decided a house with a baby was ok to VISIT??? NO they deserve no help from op and husband

[PyraJya-Luquay]

Last story: So...what? The wife never heard of freaking Twilight? That was a thing back when she was in school. While it was not specifically about goth lifestyling, it did influence a lot of girls to get into the goth lifestyle. My sister was OBSESSED with vampires and werewolves and bats and zombies and basically anything undead for three years after reading the books. It influenced her to look into the horror genre, even though the books were more on the lines of fantasy/romance. This is a big contributor to why the goth lifestyle became normalized. How does she NOT know this is a VERY normal thing now?

[randomvids]

Story 1 yeah this is 100 percent her fault. I'm also bipolar but I would never do this. She's literally trying to kill you. Please break up with her don't let this become another story where you normalize her abuse and just deal with it

[patmei]

I love how in the last story guy who never wanted kids became a real dad for his step daughter. She trusts him, confess her problems to him. This is something amazing and refreshing in Reddit stories. Usually it's bad bad step parent who makes hell

[jamilahzahirahhadid]

My aunt also has a dangerous case bi polar disorder. She physically assaulted me last year the week before thanksgiving, she stood over me and twisted my neck. It was incredibly scary/unexpected, and am getting an MRI next week due to lasting issues. I thought that her being consistent with medication made her safe to be around, but I was very wrong. To anyone else relating with story 1, please remember that your physical well-being is worth more than a relationship.

[Hybrid]

Pretty sure the Mom in the last story wanted her daughter to be the “girly girl” to try and liver her lost high school years through the kid. Talk about pushing your dreams onto your children.

After the update: She wants her kid to become a teen mom?! Wife sounds kinda trashy.

[kheldaur]

1:39 "It´s not her fault". Yes it is.

[danielbrant]

*2nd Story:* The only worthwhile piece of advice I could tell OP is to put her foot down and say no more free babysitting until her grandkids are properly vaccinated. Those living grandkids are gonna need some serious therapy.

Also, I'm pretty sure deliberately leaving your sick kids with someone else so you don't have to deal with them is an entitled parent move.