Emotional Regulation - The First Step: Identify your Emotions - Willingness

If you want to become more emotionally intelligent, you’ve got to be able to know what you’re feeling. Most people don't know how to identify your emotions. This is not the same as knowing why you’re feeling that way (insight) or knowing what to do about it…that’s important too..but knowing what you're feeling is really important. It’s like starting where you’re standing.

Many people don’t know what they’re feeling, they literally can’t tell you what emotion they’re having. You might feel numb, or disconnected, or you can’t tell the difference between thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Some people just don’t have the words for emotions. A lot of people intellectualize- they try to think their way out of feelings. Instead you can learn to identify your emotions.

When you don’t know what you are feeling, you often feel a sense of powerlessness. You might feel confused, or be reactive to emotions that you can’t identify. When you know what you’re feeling, you can choose what to do with those feelings, and you’ll have a greater sense of peace and control in your life.

So how do you feel your feelings? How can you identify your emotions? What do you do when you don’t know what you’re feeling?
In this video I’m going to teach you 4 ways to tune into your emotions, and these are things I use all the time in therapy to help my clients get better at feeling.

00:00 How to identify your emotions
01:19 Emotions are fundamentally physical
01:35 Emotions are fundamentally physical
03:20 Tune into your emotions and sensations
04:24 4 Principles from Mindfulness
07:04 Use Emotion Charts to Identify Emotions
07:58 Track your emotions to get practice identifying them
08:48 Draw your emotions to identify them

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[Meloyadina]

It really impacted me when you said 'Thank you for all the work you're doing'. I feel grateful to be acknowledged in that way, because not many people validate the work it takes someone like me to keep overcoming depression/anxiety/cptsd daily. 🙏🏽💞

[DwyaneWadeCounty]

I used to think that heart pain was a medical problem. After countless ER visits and tests I have come to realize and accept that it was actually the emotion of heartbreak. These days, when I feel pain in my heart, I no longer panic and think heart attack. Instead, I think, "who in the hell is breaking my heart now?".

[Eden]

This video in particular should be required curriculum in schools K-12 and Colleges these are life skills that everyone needs to know. Thank you for your videos you are making a big difference in my life and hundreds of thousands more Thank You 🙏

[julienakpillankford]

“Dropping the war with your own body.” Oh my, the penny just dropped. That’s it! That’s the key to so many health struggles I’ve had almost all my life. Eureka! Thank you! 🙏🏽❤️

[cassieoz]

Thank you for labelling anger as a secondary emotion. The first step in choosing how to deal with it.

[yinyang]

I'm so grateful to have your videos. I've been going through a depressive episode and you've helped me feel more stable. I never really comment on things, but you're the exception. The work you're doing is changing so many lives.

[ledge-magee]

Watching this, I was reminded about the sort of headspace I get into when I'm writing. I write fiction, so I have to describe and "feel by proxy" my characters' emotions in order for them to come across well. It never occurred that I could give myself that same, brief moment of empathy. Thank you.

[hshfyugaewfjkKS]

This was great. As a trauma coach this is exactly what I do w my clients. Its fantastic you are sharing this w so many who may not have access to therapy or coaching.

[indigoziona]

I think of you saying, "let's get better at feeling" a lot... It's a helpful reminder that I do better when I let myself be sad/anxious/angry and then it can pass.

[aditiaher]

Can you please make a video on "brain fog" ? I am suffering from depression and anxiety since last 10 years and I am experiencing brain fog as a result of it. It affects all aspects of my life and leads to poor decision making. I don't know how to deal with it? It will be really helpful to learn more about this condition from you.

[cristinaevans]

Squatting..plllease I’m in my mid 50s..I can’t get out of my chair ….breathing seems like too much work 😅this video is going to help me, my head dr can’t, my therapist can’t, my gp can’t .no one talks to me about healing, I supposed I should be grateful that I’m alive and I am .I want you to know I am grateful for everything you do for people like me, this video STOPPED a anxiety attack while watching..and I had gone to a very dark place …thank you for bringing me back into the light😅❤

[mesay]

Just when i needed it the most... thank you Emma you're a blessing. ❤

[sonmia]

I can't thank u enough for all the effort, care and energy u put in every one of ur videos.
May u always be happy and blessed 💜

[tatianaprado]

Thank you so much for that video, Emma! Feeling so grateful at the moment for your help! God bless you! ❤

[janebotten]

You are SO good at explaining things and giving us practical advice for facing stuff. thank you!

[shinchan]

Thankyou so much for bringing up such topics which other therapists on yt unknowingly ignore.
I have not watched even half of your videos but my inner health and mindset have improved so much from just few of your videos. You are a great person, your voice is so soothing and calms the mind and how you deliver the concept and make me feel comfortable is just another thing.

Kindly make some videos on past guilts, regret for repeated mistakes, negative thoughts suddenly popping out of no where.
We need more deep concepts to make our ment health conditions better

[beehoney]

You provide an invaluable resource to the public and you’re incredible at articulating these concepts in a way that is easy to understand. Keep up your wonderful work! ❤

[angelawhite]

I love the outdoor video! Everything you say is so true. I have been practicing this naming what I’m feeling and it really does make a huge difference. 🙏

[klyrebird]

You really are a rare gem. You are so helpful and genuine. Thanks so much.

[Lsy]

Thanks for your kind hearted sharing. I was overwhelmed by recent situations and unable to release all emotions and feeling stuck. Emma, can I give you a virtual hug haha you’re a life saver