The surprising stigma of sobriety | Gill McKay | TEDxUniversityofEdinburgh

Stigmas are silencing, and lead us to disconnection from ourselves and others.

Gill was shocked when she became alcohol-free that, in moving away from the stigma of over-drinking, she immediately entered a world of stigma about sobriety. Unintentionally, we perpetuate stigmas with our behaviours, yet all around us, loved ones, friends, family and colleagues may be struggling and suffering in silence.

It’s time to stop the silence. It matters to talk about stigma to give everyone a voice, to feel witnessed and realise that we have choices to change their lives for the better. Human connection matters even more in the ever-changing world of tomorrow.

[devonchris]

Sadly so true. I lost some friends, and some family members stopped talking to me, when I went sober, without me saying a judgemental or pious word. People need to accept that "no thank you" is a complete sentence. My parents spent twenty years trying to convince me to resume drinking, even after they'd seen friends and relatives die from alcoholism. I'd never try and make someone else give up alcohol, so why do people try and push alcohol on others?

[felicityhalette]

Her journey from shame to self-love is incredibly inspiring. If that's what happens when you go sober we should all aspire to it, and support one another throughout the process.

[ayaanthetruth]

This presentation hits hard. The silence around sobriety is deafening. Let's break it together and create a supportive, judgment-free space.

[kimvarley]

I am very proud to say that I am a close friend of this amazing lady. We partied together all through our 30's and into our 40's. We were nicknamed Patsy and Edina from AbFab. I am deeply ashamed to say that when she told me she quit alcohol I found it hard to believe. I thought it was for a health kick for a few months. So my perspective is from the other side, one of the friends that found it strange. It took a while to sink in, but it not only became acceptable but admirable. To the point that my own drinking habits changed dramatically. This is because she was brave enough and determined enough to patiently explain why she was doing what she was doing. Our friendship thank God surviv
ed and is just as daft and full of laughter and love, we don't need booze to have fun. So if anyone out there is trying to quit and scared of what their friends will think, be patient with them, talk to them, give them a chance to understand and if they care for you they will.

[karmas]

As a recovering alcoholic, "just one" WILL kill me. I am not quiet about my own sobriety, but I won't push it on others either. My sobriety is my responsibility. You do you. ❤

[katiaromanow]

Jill, your revelation about the lack of acknowledgement when you quit drinking is so relatable. It's a silent battle that deserves recognition!

[thefirstrebecca]

Sobriety is one of the most difficult things to achieve. My hat goes off to anyone whose managed it

[jessyclaston]

I was a dancer when I gave up drinking, had to change my entire lifestyle and social group. I didn't really understand at the time but I think people just feel inhibited by the presence of a sober person

[SpeckledDude]

when she talked about pretending to be fine at work, I felt that. I spent years putting on a brave face while dying inside.

[maverickvassallo]

Her honesty about her struggles with alcohol was refreshing. It takes a lot of courage to share such personal experiences so publicly

[luisximena]

The way she talked about feeling proud of her sobriety but also pressured to hide it was so sad. It’s not right that people can’t celebrate achievements like that without facing judgment.

[carljanicek]

Hearing her talk about her experience with sober shaming made me think about my own actions. It’s important to be aware of how our words affect others, even when you think you're just joking around

[SinfulTrust]

her message about the power of empathy to dilute shame and give people a voice is so important. We all have a role to play in creating a more compassionate and understanding world.

[TonyRome]

I have been sober 8 1/2 years and experienced the shaming during the first 2 years. After a while, people move on. I can not deny it; I love being the only one at a party who does not drink.

[bobertgenn]

When I was young, like many we had a group that drank together all the time. Years in we were out and I said to D "where's ya beer?" He said, "I'm not drinking, saving up for a house deposit". I don't think anyone believed him, but everyone continued to respect and include him every other time we were together. If I'm honest he's the reason I was able to stop drinking.

[lannydaslin]

I've been sober for two years, and the stigma is still there. It's disheartening to see how people react when they find out you don't drink. But videos like this give me hope that attitudes are slowly starting to change.

[malyka]

This talk was a powerful and inspiring call to action! We need to stop the silence around addiction and sobriety and start having more honest, empathetic conversations about these issues.

[iamthereallovedoctor]

Never thought of why sobriety would be something to be proud of but now that I'm really thinking about it I see why it would be one of the most difficult things for a person to do

[ThrillFiller]

her words about human connection being key... that's exactly what helped me get sober. found a community that got it

[tomdashwood]

Her story of overcoming the silence and shame associated with both drinking and sobriety is a powerful reminder of the importance of human connection. Her call for empathy and understanding is something we should all strive to answer.