Use This SIMPLE TEST To See If Someone You Love Is A NARCISSIST | Matthew Hussey

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Narcissists walk among us . . . but what makes us stay with such people?

In the beginning, sadly, many people fail to see the long-term damage a relationship with a narcissist (or narcissistically inclined person) can cause. From confidence to superficial charm or even intensity, it's easy to mistake narcissistic traits as positive ones in the beginning of a relationship. But after quickly sucking you in, they gaslight you, make you forget yourself, and cause you to start justifying all kinds of toxic behavior. All in the name of control disguised as love.

If you've been in a relationship that has made you question your sanity, this is for you . . .

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[silvio.r]

People with higher levels of empathy are shown to delay or not act on ending a relationship when it isnt right. They doubt themselves and put others first, as well as having elevated attachment.

[uclassc]

I think the hook is they present as someone they’re not and you keep looking for that person to come back and it takes awhile to realize that person was never who we thought they were

[stephanie]

Too much talk and no action: Leave

The relationship causes you anxiety and it’s making you feel like crap, instead of feeling secure and peaceful: Leave

If you bring stuff up that hurts you and you’re being ridiculed: leave.

Something doesn’t feel right: leave

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision (P.C.) and I think we should approach all our relationships with this in mind ❤️

[staceystroynywalls]

One huge clue for me when I was living with my ex narc was that I was so much happier at work during the day and dreaded coming home. I was treated with respect at work but the minute I walked in the door to our home I felt worthless.

[veebliss]

When you walk up to them with a problem and what’s upsetting you and you walk away feeling like you’re the problem is straight gold! It’s exactly that! Being open about your feelings should have your partner wanting to compromise and fix to make it better, if you are just as important to them …as they are to you! If they make you feel like your feelings are an issue that’s your red flag! 🚩Narcs never validate your feelings -because they expect you to have none! 🚩🚩 and all relationships will crumble with someone ignoring your feelings 🚩🚩 RUN 🏃‍♀️ listen to your gut ! It will take months or years to recover if you don’t ! And then look into your parents and family dynamic and see if you learned any dynamics or patterns from there !

[nessapalmer]

Ppl who have never been entrapped in an abusive relationship have a difficult time understanding how someone gets into that situation. The abuser breaks you down over a long period that you don't even recognize yourself. And when you get out you have to re trust yourself that you won't allow that to happen again. Plus you have so much shame/regret/guilt for how you allowed yourself to be treated.

[jkcmusic]

“I cane to you because these things were upsetting me and I came away feeling like I’m the problem.” THIS!

[nicholerubes]

My grandmother gave me the best advice. Trust a man's action not his words. And never date a guy who says he is going to treat you right

[dawn]

I like to see the significant increase in spreading narcissist awareness. I married a covert passive aggressive one and was together for 22 years and had no idea of the covert insidious psychological and emotional abuse I was enduring. He never raised his voice, never laid a hand on me. He camouflaged cognitive empathy for emotional empathy and I projected my own empathy onto his manipulative behaviors. I became aware of how I enabled the abuse and wish I would’ve known about this in my late teens.

[BlackBird]

I have a narc ex, and it took me years to recover myself. Its hell and so toxic.. Your identity becomes their property. So at one point you're not staying so much for love, more so because you're afraid of what happens with yourself if you leave. Identity crisis is what happens, maybe depression, but its always 1000% better and worth it over staying. Im healed now, the scars stay. But i can tell you within a second when im being manipulated by someone, thats human knowledge i learned the hard way. But its the sunny side of a bad experiance; wisdom.

[steph]

I had an ex that would turn every problem we had into a 'you are crazy' thing. Even when I caught him on dating apps talking to other women and confronted him, he said he just wanted to make more lady friends and said i was crazy when I told him he shouldn't. Most toxic relationship ever, he made me feel like trash. All the while I was watching Matthew's videos and they gave me the strength to walk away.
Matt, you are, to me, wiser than Gandhi 💋

[kristinaveirum]

My sister got divorced from a huge narcissist. I could tell by the way he was acting, how he was speaking, that he was a narcissist. I didn’t know how much damage he did to my sister behind closed doors, but she’s finally and luckily in a very good place now. She can see him for what he is. They have 2 children together so she has to put up with him sometimes, but she more or less ignore him. I’m so proud of her!!

[missta]

Was in a situationship with a younger man who is a Narcissist.
Suffered anxiety and self doubt for 15 months.
Out of the blue met an older man who treats me like a queen.
Goodbye Mr.Narc and all the toxicity and lies.

[confusedspoons]

I'd rather be alone than ever date someone who makes me miserable. It took a lot of bad relationships to realise this. Cheaters and those with learned narc behaviours. I am happy with my own company.

[deepinn]

I think tuning in to how you physically feel in the presence of someone is an excellent barometer of what is going on for you. During love bombing stage I felt nauseous in my person’s presence. Had a constant feeling that something was off, but couldn’t understand why I felt this way. It was a gut feeling ‘something is not right’. But a narcissist has a profound ability to make you doubt yourself. Eventually after 4 months, I had a strong need for some space to just think. As soon as I decided this, I was bombarded with text messages, even a threat that they would end their life. Very scary time. I cut all communication with them & they still found a way to contact me. Total nutter. I TG that I had enough self awareness to know THEY were very unstable. I hope to never ever meet this personality type again.

[maruja]

This video really opened up my eyes to so many red flags in my relationship. The main one that hit home for me was when he mentioned that narcs make you feel crazy for expressing your feelings and I actually was starting to feel guilty about it. Once that started happening, I knew it was time to get out.

[valeriejanssen]

When I was still with my narc ex, I started reaching out for new friends, started looking up to friends that are professionals and that's what opened my eyes and helped me change and want to pull myself out of the hellish nightmare I was living in.

[thankyou]

Not only do they invalidate your feelings, they try to make you feel like the concern you bring up is actually your problem, and not theirs. For example, there was a very serious and important question I had for her (when I started to catch on to her antics). She refused to answer my question and danced around for 30-45 minutes, avoiding it. And then she said, “why do you have to make this conversation last so long?!”

[LifeChangePlans]

You are right, what they say does not matter.
If a person cheats on you and betrays you, that person is living a lie. If you try to ask them a simple question, like "What do you really want?" they will be triggered and react with projection and rage.

[elodiefrancois]

15 years. 2 beautiful children. In the end, I don't know who was the narcissist in our relationship. Probably the two of us. We turned each other into narcicists until we got on the edge of insanity.
I could not bring myself to leave him and neither could he.
Finally, he met someone else, someone good for him, someone with whom he learned to love again. Someone who made him let me go. He freed me. But now I am so afraid of loving again. So scared of turning someone else into a monster. So afraid of hurting someone that much. So afraid of being bullied again. And there's this feeling of deep guilt..
Anyway I am on my own now and I am free at last and that is all that matters for the moment.
Thank you so much for putting words on what I used to live: the unspeakable truth. It's like you spread a healing ointment on my wounds and filled me with understanding. 🙏