10 ways to boop protogen

It all started with discord DM and then it turns into a video.

[Buzzy]

I love how the 8th Protogen got a moment to ponder what just happened, then decided "Yeah, Ill go with it." *falls dramatically*

[mikeidc]

Timing is on point.
It's actually funny.
Smooth animations.
Creative...
Bravo, my good sir!

[XenonARK]

Protogen instruction manual

1. All charging of your protogen must be done with a USB-A adapter cord. If any other adapter is used your protogen could malfunction.

2. Keep any caffinated drink away from your protogen. When a protogen drinks caffeine they will experience what we at Protogen Labs call a 'Incident 1F-7' (Stop sending our staff questions on what 1F-7 means.)

3. Booping your proto. You may boop your protogen only 2-3 times at one moment. If you surpass this limit your protogen could get angry and might bite, depending on how angry you made your proto it might bite from the size of your ring finger to the palm of your hand.
We say this for the last time, Please boop responsibly. For the sake of your hand.

4. Do not treat your protogen poorly. If you do this there is a 78% chance of you being chained to the wall.
Do not do what Jefferson did when he was playing around with the newer models. DO NOT. He got chained for 30 days, the key was no where to be found. Luckily since it was inside our facility he got to eat and drink most of the days.

4¹. Treating your protogen. You may give your protogen a treat but limit to a 64GB Ram stick. 2 will be enough for your protogen for one day. (I do understand the basic knowledge of food. Thank you very much.²)

Contact our staff if any problem occurs that you may not know how to fix.

Protogen instruction manual Second Edition

1. Do not use your protogen as a toaster. If you do this you might be burned by your protogen. They do not like being used as their main purpose. (Do not ask our manufacturering team why we still build them with toaster slots.)

2. Stop. Giving. Your. Protogen. Coffee. We are tired of you people constantly having protogens running around like crazy. Stop making ³1F-7 incidents please.

3. Charging your protogen. With the newer models of protogen you aren't limited to just a USB-A adapter cable. You can now use USB-C adapter. (Any model that is not from generation 8 can not use a USB-C adapter.)

4. Booping your proto V2. You may boop your protogen gently, if you do not boop your protogen gently you could send a harmful message to your protogen. Boop your protogen like you would a cat, gentle so you don't scare it.

5. Treats. Keep any parts like motherboards, GPUs, batteries, (We aren't responsible for any electric shocks made from any batteries.) Or tools like screwdrivers, or nails. Your protogen might eat these, do not let them only allow 64GB of ram. If you are feeling generous you can give higher amounts of ram to your protogen, 256GB would be good.

Holding Crow⁴ at gun point and making a manual about him.

1. Crow only cares about one person. Yes, Crow doesn't like anyone else than his friend who is human unlike him. (Don't worry Crow hates me too)

2. Pain. Crow is a Trained Protogen Mercenary and carries a pistol and rifle wherever he goes. Don't mess with him unless you want to die.

3. Do not boop Crow. If you fail this order you will be shot through the head 35 times. Crow is too serious when it comes to booping him.

4. Caffeine. We're just going to leave this blank. *Crow when through a ⁵CT-71 scenario*

5. Don't post anything about Crow. Don't do what we are doing right now you will probably die a very quick death. Oh no I hear him now, DEFINITELY DONT DO WHAT I AM DOING.

How to properly 'dispose' your protogen.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5..

This file was Expunged by Protogen Labs Cheif of Staff Kathleen Miller.
Reason: You know these things are sentient right? They can read.
After message from author: Miller, I have access to your protogen's source code. Start running.⁶

Yall keep saying something about an SCP file. So ima just make a ACS example.

Item #: YX51⁷
Clearance Level 5: Top Secret (TC)

Containment Class: Keter?
Secondary Class: Apollyon
Disruption Class: Ekhi
Risk Class: Critical

Protogen Labs thanks you for 800 likes. As such, we will make another manual comment so that even more of you can comment. (I'm lazy so expect this in like 5 months)⁸

[Footnotes]
1. Yes, there are two step 4's.
2. I understand that protogens don't eat ram.
3. 1F-7 incidents are redacted events which require many Protogen Labs Response Teams to fully contain.
4. Agent Crow, Senior Security Divison Manager. 35 years working with Protogen Labs. Made by a third party company.
5. CT-71 incidents are a very destructive version of a 1F-7 incident. They occur more often in third party products.
6. Kathleen Miller was found dead 4 months after this file was posted.
7. Agent Crow's model number.
8. There was no second comment. I'm just that lazy.

[santiagomoreno]

As someone that played after the flash for some years. That roleplaying one is 1000% relatable

[BrandonBreakfast]

“If protogens are toasters, then where does the bread go?”

[pixelgamelvr]

This feels more like ways to kill a protogen then to boop it.

[thesilliest]

I love how as a furry this is still incredibly funny

[firenzarfrenzy]

“Youtube I’m not a furry”
YT: *You can’t run from it for much longer*

[BuckBewENOfficial]

Yes this started with a discord DM and then it becomes a video.
disclaimer: no protogen were fatally harmed and everyone had an ice cream after.

[Charles_Foxtrot]

I merely booped two protogens officer!





"Sir, you did a hit and run on one and stabbed the other"

[keeganplayz]

Whenever someone boops my toaster, he sort of just stands there and takes for a few seconds before getting annoyed or angry.

[karinareboucasdeoliveira]

This guide made me acidentally give my protogen to the mechanic, at least 10 and 1 was usefull to make him feel better, thank you!

[KeelerAxolotlRin]

The eighth way is basically Indian drama shows

[ahmadaimanarif]

Top 10 of how to properly boop a protogen [not clickbait]

There's some good point about the video that become as a agreement about this

[Foshoe]

0:17 literally every Indian soap opera ever

[juj]

cheese one would've been perfect le sergal.

I can imagine a Protogen throwing a piece of cheese at a Sergal after the sergal threw a USB stick or a toaster at a proto.

[KentonMakings]

Buck Bew, you're not being very gentle with your toasters. They have feelings, like you, you know.

[thatnnigga]

Immortal temptation
Takes over my mind, condemned
Falling weak on my knees
Summon the strength of mayhem
I am the storm that is approaching
Provoking black clouds in isolation
I am reclaimer of my name
Born in flames, I have been blessed
My family crest is a demon of death
Forsakened, I am awakened
A phoenix's ash in dark divine
Descending misery
Destiny chasing time
Inherit the nightmare, surrounded by fate
Can't run away
Keep walking the line, between the light
Led astray
Through vacant halls I won't surrender
The truth revealed in eyes of ember
We fight through fire and ice forever
Two souls once lost, and now they remember
I am the storm that is approaching
Provoking black clouds in isolation
I am reclaimer of my name
Born in flames, I have been blessed
My family crest is a demon of death
Forsakened, I am awakened
A phoenix's ash in dark divine
Descending misery
Destiny chasing time
Disappear into the night
Lost shadows left behind
Obsession's pulling me
Fading, I've come to take what's mine
Lurking in the shadows under veil of night
Constellations of blood pirouette
Dancing through the graves of those who stand at my feet
Dreams of the black throne I keep on repeat
A derelict of dark, summoned from the ashes
The puppet master congregates all the masses
Pulling strings, twisting minds as blades hit
You want this power? Then come try and take it
Beyond the tree, fire burns
Secret love, bloodline yearns
Dark minds embrace, crimson joy
Does your dim heart heal or destroy?
Bury the light deep within
Cast aside, there's no coming home
We're burning chaos in the wind
Drifting in the ocean all alone

[mcfloatburbker]

0:05 just hit him a lot until the 8 second timer is over and he cant escape because of how slow he is now

[dragondeeznuts]

Imagine the 4th way to boop a toaster, the toaster died like the family guy scene
Where he fall from the stairs