8 Things You Should Never Say To An INTJ Personality Type

Don't Say these 8 things to an INTJ personality type.

[cheriemonami]

Needing alone time to recharge IS the definition of introvert.

[cosmospray]

What do you mean we’re not introverts? We are. Yes we are.

[jenniferhanses]

1) Don't make fun of their intelligence. Well, yes. But I'm not sure how you'd manage to do that in the first place. What are you going to say? You're so smart you have Neil Degrasse Tyson on speed dial? My response is going to be either "I wish I were that lucky" or "Yes, and?" depending on my mood and our relationship. It's not really going anywhere is what I mean.

2) Yes, I'm an introvert. I am very comfortable with the fact that I'm an introvert. I'm very much not an extrovert. That said, if you were trying to make some point about INTJs tending to not completely avoid people, it's true that we're generally on the more social end of the introvert scale from what I've experienced and heard. I'm very happy being social in small groups, I love board gaming parties, and my ideal mate is someone I can be around 24/7 and not feel like my batteries are being drained (and yes, I have been in relationships like this). But I'm still very much an introvert, and I pay for partying with needing to take an entire day off and be alone afterwards to recover from the pounding headache. I'm just willing to pay that price if it's the right group and the right party.

3) WTF. No. You don't tell an INTJ to just be themselves because we're always ourselves. It's that whole Te/Fi thing. We've taken the Greek adage "Know thyself" to heart. If you tell me to just "be myself" that means you haven't noticed that I've been being myself this entire time. Unless the INTJ is faking something for the purposes of manipulation, they're probably exactly who they appear to be. We're actually repulsed by being not ourselves, and can't keep it up for very long. Side Note: Acting in a professional capacity is something different than not being ourselves.

4) Don't ask if they are tired, hungry, or bored? Umm... no? Is this video confusing INTJs with robots? I mean, asking is contextual, but who asks about being tired or hungry if they're not planning to remedy the situation if the answer is yes? I mean, most of the times people ask if I'm hungry, it's because I'm out with a group, and we're trying to decide if and when we should eat. I'd be rather insulted if everyone but me was asked if they were hungry in such a situation because the message would be that I don't count and am not actually an equal member of the group. Also, if I'm getting grumpy, I may well be tired and/or bored. I'd rather be asked if I was tired than told that I was tired. I'm really not safe-guarding the information on my basic state of being from anyone. I might take longer to answer in different circumstances, as I might not have noticed I was hungry, tired, or bored yet, and so I need to run a self diagnostic before answering, but that's not the same as not wanting to answer.

5) Don't compare them to other people. Well, I supposed that's accurate. I don't particularly see the point of measuring people by other people, you know? I'm not inherently insulted by the comparison, but I don't see the point.

And yes, it's very true INTJs don't like small talk. That said, questions about the weather are actually a fairly good small talk option for an INTJ as the weather is important and relevant to daily plans. I will happily consider with you whether it's going to rain today. This determination may be important for me, or if I've already made my determination about the weather, sharing that information (Te) may be important to you. If you want an INTJ ice breaker, the weather is fine. You're just going to need a plan of attack of where to go from there.

Yes. Do not tell us what to do outside of very specific circumstances like "you're giving us training" or "we asked a question."

6) Umm... as my ISTJ mother and grandmother were always telling me to go outside more often, yes. But the reason is that it's boring outside, and less comfortable than being in my room. Also, making yourself out to be a nag is not going to win you my favor. If you want me outside, then propose an activity. I don't think most INTJs are hurt by this, but I may just be inured to the criticism.

7) Don't try to solve their problems for them? Buwhahahahahahahahaha. If I can't solve my problems as the most problem-solving oriented type, what makes you think that you can? That said, I am open to workshopping problems if you're open to being a sounding board. For example, I know I'm not the most social type, and would be happy, for example, to have a more social friend help me solve a problem using their social skills. That's not them solving my problem so long as we talked and agreed upon what they were doing to help me. That is me using my contacts to solve a problem.

8) Um... Yes, but no.

Yes, don't inquire about our feelings. You're probably not going to like the response. I have stared at brick walls for hours, and felt nothing. Internal survey says I feel fine. Nothing particularly interesting is happening. Nothing particularly bad is happening. I don't feel any particular way at the moment, but most people don't like that answer. But we're actually pretty in touch with our emotions. It's that whole Fi thing. The other option with emotions is if they're big and complicated, we might need time to process so that we can answer the question. If you want to know about how I feel about my dad dying, I'm going to need thinking time to come up with an answer with more depth than "sad." And then you can hear me rant about all the things that went wrong, if that's what you really wanted to do with your time.

So yes, don't ask about feelings unless you are really sure you want to know and have an in depth discussion, but no, it's not because we're out of touch with our feelings. We know what our feelings are. They're often just not relevant to anything or what we're doing at the moment.

[thorssensgamesNCC]

Part of being an INTJ is owning your introversion as part of your power. Thinking there is something wrong with it is ignorance