8 things you should NEVER say to your partner

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[veronice_ronnie]

Quick reminder:
Someone said, "you are not depressed, lazy or unmotivated. You have lived so long in survivor mode that you are exhausted. There's a difference."

[The-Illuminator-ml]

When narcissists get called out they try to deflect by telling the other person that they are overreacting as if they are trying to downplay what they did wrong. They will use all sorts of gaslighting to make others look like the aggressor while they try and play the victim.

[barryosullivan]

"I stopped explaining myself to people when I realised that people only see things from their level of perception..." Anon

[mrs]

I guess we have words for regular people and a different set of words for narcissist. Exhausting😢

[ds]

To be honest, I try not to say anything at all. Not only do I despise interacting with them, I know anything I say isn't being heard. Everything I say can and will be held against me.

[brandyporter]

This is exactly what I thought when I read the book’s assignment in my marriage class in graduate school. They were great for helping healthy relationships, but they needed a disclaimer or something stating that this won’t work if your in a abusive relationship. I could just see people being confused when it wasn’t working for them and not recognizing it was because they were in a toxic marriage.

[goblin]

I wish dr Ramani could be my therapist. Intelligent and to the point. Not everyone is like that

[moniquejackson]

Brilliant. "Most mainstream sources of information don't offer guidance that people in Narcissistic relationships can safely or sensibly use in most situations." "And sometimes the guidance, well-intentioned as it is, might need a warning label: This article might not work if you are in a Narcissistic relationship." Thank you, Dr. Ramani.

[JoelC]

Dr. Durvasula nails this one. There is NO FIX

[susanbradleyskov]

The narcissist can learn these phrases and use them in bad faith, especially when there are others within hearing distance.

[aubreysnyder]

I've learned if someone says you're overreacting or you think too much. You're definitely thinking enough and probably right on track.

[The-Illuminator-ml]

They say there is no such thing as narcissistic relationships when many of us have lived to tell about it.

[MariaPalia]

I red a lot of this kind of articles before. The only problem i see with them is they don't write that this doesn't apply for people who having a relationship with someone who in the Dark Triad category.

[sally]

There is such thing as a partner that has NEVER cleaned the family home, NEVER done shopping etc.
I know, I’ve been with one🤣

[lauramari]

This rings so many bells it's almost deafening! The very thought of ever having an actual dialogue about what was bothering me seemed like a piece of fuzzy fiction, something that just didn't exist in the real world. The narrative was that, regardless of the issue at hand, I was wrong, they were right, end of. Finally I went to therapy because I was so unhappy and so unsettled. After all, one of the things he would repeat over and over was that I needed to get my head examined. When I finally said that was just what I was going to do, rage ensued. Apparently, no sane grown up would actually go to therapy to engage in navel-gazing when all that was needed was for me to grow up & own up to my craziness, apologize (I did little else during the whole relationship, bar the very beginning), and fall into line. Also, going to therapy was, according to him, just me wanting to badmouth him to "some guy" and cheat on him (!!). So, no, advice about how to constructively phrase your thoughts to a narcissistic partner holds as much promise as holding an AA meeting in a brewery. Dr Ramani, thank you again, you are a star!

[winter-qdyw]

You are exactly right. As someone who tried therapy with a number of counselors to figure out what was happening this guidance not only doesn’t work but leaves the survivor feeling even more confused and adds to the self-doubt.

After decades I finally, through my own research, realized what I was dealing with. This misinformation causing harm is an understatement in my opinion. If I had had a therapist who understood toxic/narcissistic personalities from the start it may have saved many many years of pain, grief, etc. by starting on the journey needed to heal.

[raziel]

I don't even get a full sentence out. Anytime I try to speak I'm told I'm talking crap.

[vickiegroome]

Was in an exhausting phone conversation with narc. Said I've seen your red flags . Cutting my losses and moving on.
Let's say scorched earth.

[georgirancour]

"How much we can get for the parts!". Omigosh u r a treasure. Yes the car definitely needs to be junked. Oh u made me laugh. Thank u. Perfect.

[Nina-vvev]

You can’t say anything to a narcissist that’s the problem lol… Try asking a narcissist why they are ALWAYS upset with you… or why they NEVER support you… see what happens 🤦‍♀️