5 Reasons Intelligent Men Struggle With Dating

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[lovetohate]

1) Overthinking
2) Hyper-Independence
3) unrealistic expectations and standards
4) social skills
5) Priorities and focus elsewhere

[Syluxsify]

For me it's more 'gifted kid syndrome'. When you grow up you get the impression that intelligence is all you will ever need to succeed and then you feel like a failure when it isn't. Over time your self-confidence crumbles, you don't learn important life/social skills and eventually you end up being behind others your age despite being ahead in childhood.

[antiderrida]

I do have problems with my high standards:
- speaks english
-not obese
-doesn't yell at me randomly
-has at least 1 interest other than sex and shopping

[theHardyMonster]

1. We don't want to lose all our stuff.

[SuperBeast]

Feels weird when i try to think of my unrealistic expectations

1) emotionally stable *within reason
2) ACTUALLY good at communicating to resolve problems
3) apologizes after misbehaving

If that's unrealistic, idk man maybe people are worse than i thought 🤷🏿‍♂️

[alex_tucker]

I'm not especially intelligent, but I definitely had an issue with overthinking until I learned to just enjoy the moment and follow my instincts.

[brianthesnail]

People who are intelligent mostly need to find someone who is as intelligent as they are. If you are intelligent, you need conversation at a level that you operate at. Its fine for small talk at a party but a lifetime of being with someone needs something more. That can mean there are very few people to choose from. If only 10% of people are at or above your level of intelligence your chances of finding someone is 1 in10.

No to be arrogant about people who are less intelligent because I meet a lot of good people who are less academically intelligent and who have a lot to offer with emotional intelligence, hard working and genuine. However, my wife is a professor and I can talk to her for hours about intellectual things in all sorts of fields. I like that. Its an important part of why I have been with her 40 years. Forming a deep connection needs minds to meet.

[XaloGunner]

For me, a lot of these ring true...but nowadays more than any other is:

Afraid to be seen as creepy.

Nevermind approaching a girl at the gym or the grocery store, I'm often afraid to even *be kind* to girls I meet.

Me being kind or even trying to establish something with a person I find attractive gets overwhelmed by the pressure of possibly being labeled a creep or even worse: getting accused of something serious when you're trying to be nice or connect with someone you're interested in and that leading to trouble at work, school, church, in public, online and so on.

The possible "witch hunt" factor is sometimes so terrifying.

[tehlaziness]

Dating today as a introverted guy is freaking rough. Why would a girl want to date a guy that's introverted or even a bit shy when she has more exciting ultra charismatic and hot guys matching with her on tinder and sliding into her DMs on insta? Sure those guys are generally just going to use her for some low effort bedroom fun, but that doesn't seem to EVER stop women these days from repeatedly falling for it and then complaining about it all over tiktok. I've honestly given up on dating and decided to just do things I enjoy doing and focus on my indie game projects

[robertvanpelt]

As an intelligent, highly educated mam, I find it difficult to find an equally intelligent woman with morals, family minded, loyal and valuing her physical and emotional being. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack

[xVotoriousx]

The juice isnt worth the squeeze 85% of the time.

[didamnesia]

I don't struggle, I gave up, bought some guitars and amps. Nobody to tell me: no more guitars. Nobody to cheat on me, make me mad, hurt my feelings, force me to cook larger than required meals, pay too much for entertainment, and nobody forcing me into violent situations to satisfy her ego.
What's the problem? According to women it's men. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

[jethrojacinto]

There's only 1 reason why intelligent men struggle with dating and it's because they know better after going through so much in the past.

[Nemesis]

The 2nd one is definitely something I deal with, I hate depending on people and rather just do things myself.

[JaySmith-pvmw]

I was told years ago by a GF that I wasn't "needy" enough. So be it. Also, I don't prioritize freedom over a nurturing relationship, I prioritize it over a bad relationship that's going to end anyway.

[Newgrist]

I spent years in my head pursuing a PhD. I was so serious minded. I only later learned that women connect above all on an emotional level. I wish I'd learned this lesson much earlier in life because I'm aging out of the dating game.

[donaldcodes]

I work with engineers on their dating as a side hustle. Here's what I observed

1. Overinvestment and neediness. Many of my clients are programmed to overinvest because it has been successful for them in the workplace or school.
2. Overthinking and overrationalization, like discussed in this video

[jamescraft]

After 20 years of marriage, a very expensive divorce, and realizing the way marriages progress, esp with kids, I don’t consider it overthinking, when I imagine the whole thing could happen again. Thanks I’ll stay single and free.

[MrAhmed-dxhw]

*Unrealistic expectations:
Respectful and doesn't lies.

[MahaDas]

My last love relationship was such a complete disaster that I don't even think about doing things with any woman. I'm better off single than trying to please a life partner.