1 day vs 1 year after losing my mum

This is my story about losing my beautiful mum to a brain tumour at the age of 24 and how I have found the first year of life without her. As hard as this was, it was really important for me to make this video to raise awareness for dealing with loss & grief and for showing other young people who have gone through parent loss that they are not alone.

I love you guys so much and I am so grateful for your friendship. See you again very soon xxx

Instagram - @elledarby_

[hannahfarbs]

@ 6:58 there’s definitely a little white butterfly outside the window immediately as you’re speaking about wanting a sign or a way to know your Mum is still with you. How amazing 🤍 🦋

[kirstyj]

Forgive me for not just wanted to come on the comments and show some love, I lost my mom too from the horrible 'c' word and I'm also currently pregnant with my first (21 weeks) and are trying to keep my mind completely positive for my child's sake so atm I can't watch anything like this but I'm sending you so much love and healing darling, our mom's are always with us and will be with us through every step of our pregnancy and there after 💗

[libertymoore]

A heard an analogy of grief once that really made sense to me... they described the grief as being a ball inside a cardboard box. And when it first happens the grief is a huge ball in a small box, and every time the ball hits the side of the box, it triggers the feelings... but over time to box gets bigger, so it hits the sides of the box less and less. It still hurts exactly the same when it DOES hit the side of the box. But it happens less frequently. And this analogy really got me!

[Sarahkisnellaxo]

I lost my mam too 2 years ago and it’s been tough since Mother’s Day. I’m still in bed now and I needed this today. Thank you ❤️

[GeorgiaMayx]

I have never experienced this level of grief or loss but I sat and listened and you are just incredible Elle. The way you are using your experience to help guide others is nothing sort of incredible. You should be so proud of yourself as I’m sure your beautiful mum is as she looks down on you in this life ❤️ you are such an beautiful person and it radiates from you x

[georgialee]

I lost my Mum (who was my only parent) very suddenly and unexpectedly less than 2 months ago. I’m 27 years old, unmarried and don’t have children yet. I’m struggling to figure out how I can live the rest of my life without her. She was my very best friend I loved her more than anything. Thank you making this video. Being okay seems so far away. You gave me a bit of hope that one day I will get there. This pain is next level. I just want to breathe again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[billiewest]

Your Mum is so proud of you Elle. I lost my mum In November 2020, I was 17 and right now, 4 months later it still doesn’t feel real. You are helping so much with these videos and make us all who have been through the same thing feel much less alone, I’m sure it can’t be easy. Thank you Elle❤️

[laureandrla]

15th of June 2020 my dad went missing, leaving me a suicide note and calculations for a drug over dose.

He was missing for 4 weeks before he police found his body, every single night I left the curtain and a light on hoping he had changed his mind and come back to me.

My farther was the most incredible human and my best friend, which is probably why he could never come to me about the money problems.

I understand your grief all too well, and I am so sorry you had to go through that. But so happy you are sharing your story. I couldn’t want the whole of this video as I have PTSD that is triggered constantly.

Thank you for sharing your story Ellie, they will always be with us, grief is what love leaves behind ❤️

[annielorrangarmston]

I lost my mam 6 weeks ago and the first video was one of the very few comforting lifelines. Thank you so much for this second video, an absolute god sent. Sending love to those people here who need it. Things will get better 🤍

[NaomiVictorias]

We had my boyfriends mum in a hospital bed with a syringe driver I n the lounge whilst she was battling terminal cancer last year too, it was exactly as you said - living a nightmare. This bought up so many memories that I’ve tried to push down. I haven’t lost my own mum but losing her was like losing my second mother - so I almost know how you feel. It’s absolutly heartbreaking. Your baby is such a blessing and your mum is watching down on you everyday 🤍

[jaimeelthompson]

I lost my mum almost 4 months ago, unexpectedly within an hour. We still don’t know why. I feel your pain Elle. Love you 💜

[coxo]

I lost my Father 2 weeks ago. I found him tragically just 9 hours after being with him. I tried CPR advised by 999, although deep down I recognised he had been gone for a few hours. My mind is all over the place, on top I’m 7 weeks pregnant. Thank-you Elle, these are the videos I watch with hope for the future xx

[xgognjc]

I'm a carer and when you released your first video, I was working palliatively for a woman with a brain tumour. I want to thank you for being so open and honest as I genuinely feel like it enabled me to further understand what her family members were going through. Because of your videos I made sure to check in with family & support them as much as I supported their mum. I really believe your videos helped to improve the quality of care I provided, because of your video I had a much better insight into what the family was experiencing emotionally. Thankyou Elle for being so open, it has already positively impacted a family who went through the same thing x

[helloimgeee]

I just lost my Mum a week ago, she passed the day before my 25th birthday and 6 days before Mothers Day this year. I had to cancel her Mothers Day flowers. It still doesn't feel real. Seeing you live your life and pushing on, gives me strength. xx

[jessrisden]

From an 18 year old girl who lost her dad at just 16. Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal video.

[erxnhx]

Your mum would be so proud of you! Your baby boy was handpicked by her 💞

[sophiex]

I know the writing is about something terrible, but you are clearly a talented writer to even write your feelings in that way, the way it’s described and written shows pure intelligence

[bluebezza]

I’ve had it all, happy family of 8. Mum cheated on my Dad with his best friend and moved to UK. It broke my Dad’s heart and it made him really poorly. I watched him wanting to commit suicide (walked on him in the bathroom with wrists cut open by the bathtub) because he couldn’t deal with the pain and having to raise 6 daughters all by himself whilst working full time. He passed 11 years ago - cancer got him first. I then had to move to the UK with my 5 sisters to live with Mum who abandoned us and my late Dad’s ex best friend... it’s been 11 years and the pain is still there. I don’t remember his voice but I see his face in my dreams and I know he is watching over me and my siblings. We still cry when we talk about him but we also share some laughter over the memories we’ve been able to create with the main man in our lives. But what helped us with the grieving process is having each other as sisters: even to this date one of us will mention something about our Dad or a situation that the others would have forgotten about and it’s so amazing to be able to have each other and understand what the other sister went through. I could not have done the last 11 years without my sisters. I really feel for those people who were/are on their own. And Elle, you have shown so much strength in the last year it is so inspiring and I’m sure has helped a lot of people. Everyone has a story to share and it’s so nice to be able to talk about our feelings. I am sorry to everyone who’s ever lost a parent. Life really isn’t fair sometimes.

[nicolegraham]

What a beautiful person... with a beautiful soul and beautiful meaning just everything about you is so pure and I hope this message reaches you. You've helped so many people ❤

[katief]

When you said character building.. I really felt that. I lost my brother to a brain tumour when I was 17; he was just 18. It was such a poignant time in my life that it has 100% changed who I am as a person in every single way. 6 years of grieving later, you truly never get over it, but learn to live with it. Sending you so much love Elle ❤️🌟