The WORST Lyrics in Theatre // My 15 Least Favourite Musical Theatre Lyrics

OHMYGOD HEY!

For today's video I wanted to shine a light on some of my LEAST favourite lyrics from the history of Musical Theatre.

From unsatisfying rhymes to bad grammar and poor character choices, check out these 15 questionable lyrics and let me know if you've got any more to add in the comments section down below!

•

Reminder: I'm a huge fan of all of these musicals and their composers and this video is not intended to detract from the huge success all of them have had on stage! Everything stated in this video is my opinion and should not be taken as fact!

•

I hope you've enjoyed this video, if you'd like to see more of the Stagey content I'm making including exclusive musical previews, West End interviews and general theatrical madness, subscribe to my channel! ⬇️

[pinkgirl]

The Macbeth thing was actually done on purpose to show his recklessness, he establishes that he shouldn't say it but then dives right in and says it anyway -his life also goes downhill right after he says it

[sylviab]

I think for Hamilton he didn't say the name of the play Macbeth because it's bad luck to say it in the theatre, but you can say the name of the character.

[CoynieReads]

I genuinely don't know how the actresses playing Regina George don't burst out laughing every time they sing her introduction, especially this gem- "I am, like, drunk with power/this whole school humps my leg/like a chihuahua"

[cedoniapeterson]

I’ve actually always loved the Hamilton one. The idea that Hamilton was trying to be subtle by referencing Macbeth in passing, then couldn’t help himself from bursting out with an interpretation of his own reference with detailed comparisons between everyone and Macbeth characters. I think it’s a funny example of his inability to stop writing once he gets going.

[jennisangel]

I’m so glad you just had the entirety of mean girls on this list, it’s real funny how bad the lyrics are lmao. “Calcu-lust” is genius tho

[lukehaynes]

I've always been so frustrated by the line in Castle on a Cloud when Cosette sings "There is a room that's full of toys, there are a hundred boys and girls." WHY NOT SAY GIRLS AND BOYS?! The first time I heard it I literally assumed the actress just flubbed her line. There's no way anyone could've possibly written that lyric and not seen the rhyme, so they must have dodged it intentionally, I just can't for the life of me understand why and it grates at me every single time I hear the song.

[ThePlanetOf]

No joke, when I clicked on this video I thought to myself “Lol, like ALL of Mean Girls amiright?”. Glad we agreed!

And to put the same disclaimer as you did: I love listening to Mean Girls, I think it’s catchy and fun, and it’s given us some amazing performances. But as someone else in the comments said: It’s a great example of a lyricist phoning it in. Some of my favourite bad lyrics are:
“Imagine a party with dresses and cake. And singing and dancing and CAKE.”
“Like a lioness, only with less fur”
“And God, you’re hot, why do you even wear a shirt”

And honestly, ALL of “I see stars”.

Do all these examples keep me from listening to the soundtrack, like weekly? No. It knows what it is, so I can’t hate it.

[PhonesOfOurLives]

I'm from the US and have played Elle in two different productions of Legally Blonde. I've always interpreted the "proud to be American!" line as a joke about the way Americans will just randomly insert patriotism into things for seemingly no reason. But maybe I'm optimistic and it's just unironic patriotism 😅

Great video! I audibly snort-laughed at "I'll tell you why, 'cause they don't go to class, they just do elaborate tap dances in the middle of the day." 💀😭

[CrabCrow]

My thing with "Wrote...Written" from Phantom is it always makes me want to hear Raoul say "Sent...Sentten."

[rowenblue]

Minor pedantic correction: "none of my closest friends even HAS hands" is actually grammatically correct. None is an abbreviation of "not one" so it is singular. It just sounds strange because most people don't know that and make the common mistake "none of them have..."

[justinnaniong]

Ah, Mean Girls. The very definition of a lyricist phoning it in. It's sad 'cause some of the lyrics in Legally Blonde were actually clever so I don't know what made the lyricist make the choices she did in this show.

"And if you treat me bad
// I'll say you're bad" -- oof.
"So I will not act all innocent I won’t fake apologize // Let’s just fight and then make up, not tell these lies" -- OOF

[EdenHailu-ep]

Some of those Mean Girls lines actually make some (keyword "some") sense!

For the "acting nice when she not nice" line, Janet uses a mocking, childlike voice for "she not nice". To me, this implies that it was purposefully grammatically incorrect. She was conveying that she finds the whole situation stupid and immature. Sort of like she's imitating a little kid running to their mom to cry that some other kid on the playground didn't want to play with them or pushed them off the swings.

For the "Jewish Princess Jesus" line, the writers are referencing the phrase "Jewish American Princess" or J.A.P, which is used to describe Jewish girls from privileged upbringings. It's a cultural stereotype here in the US. And I know this part is obvious, but the "Jesus" bit is of course a reference to the "seated at her right hand" line directly before "Jewish Princess Jesus." Not a particularly clever line, but it tracks!

Hello! *Editing in* nearly two years later (wild! I almost forgot about this comment lol) because some people are misunderstanding the point of my comment. For clarification: Gretchen is canonically Jewish and rich, so she is a "Jewish American Princess" stereotype. That's why she calls herself that. She is also Regina's second-in-command. Regina is the God of their school (everyone idolizes her, and she rules the school). As Regina's second-in-command, Gretchen is the Jesus in this scenario as she is "seated at [Regina's] right hand" the way Jesus is said to be "seated at the right hand of the Father (God)" in Christian teachings. So she's the equivalent of the "Jewish Princess Jesus" of the school the same way Regina would be the "Hot blonde God" of the school. It's just an alternative version of the line right before that one, where Gretchen uses the metaphor " *Regina is the Queen but I'm the head of worker bees.* As I am seated at her right hand like a Jewish Princess Jesus." It's a pretty basic joke, honestly.

Also, just FYI for anyone unfamiliar with the term, "JAP" is actually a pejorative phrase that is rooted in Jewish stereotypes (the antisemitic claim that Jewish people hoard money, etc.) and misogyny (painting privileged, feminine women as vain, greedy, materialistic, selfish, lazy, airheads etc etc etc), so please do not actually refer to people in real life as "JAP"s! Not everyone finds it offensive and some people do use it to describe themselves, but generally, it's not kind and I would avoid it if you are not Jewish yourself. Thanks! :)

[cgm]

i have to defend the phantom one. firstly, firmin & andre are definitely not that intelligent lol. secondly, the point is that they're all getting so caught up in the confrontation & their parts are overlapping so quickly and angrily that the rhyme catches up with itself. it demonstrates the general sense of chaos in that scene. and it's just funny.

[siobhanomalley]

If I remember correctly, in Hamilton, the Macbeth lyric was written that way, as when Hamilton then mentions it (as it is bad luck) that the character’s life/career starts to go downhill (i.e The Reynolds Pamphlet, his son dead, him dying). I think that’s right anyway, but who knows? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[scaraponine]

In defence of some of the Mean Girls lyrics, at least it comes off as something a 16 year old might genuinely come out with as opposed to being perfectly articulate Dawson’s Creek style mini adults.

[rehannahbaksh]

I always thought in Mean Girls the lyric was " like a Judas to her Jesus", and now knowing the correct lyrics I am bewildered.

[simparq]

Glad you said the entirety of Mean Girls cause I was sitting there like how could you possibly choose just one?! terrible terrible lyrics throughout. It's a real shame.

[walnutsrcool]

I will never get over how much better “one song glory” is than “Mimi’s eyes” like… bro your song about the song can’t be better

[whatdoyousuppose]

I was in Legally Blonde as Vivienne forever ago and idk why but all of us singing the “DOG! BAG! PROUD OF BE AMERICAN!” parts in Legally Blonde Remix had such a fun time singing it lol it was just pure unadulterated cheesiness and we just hammed it up every time

[SarahBent]

The only one I disagree with is the Phantom Notes one - I always thought it was to show how flustered the managers were, they couldn't even put together proper sentences anymore.