Why Venting Is Always A Bad Idea

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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:07 - The trend of venting content creators
03:48 - Venting is “emotion-focused coping”
06:52 - The purpose of venting?
08:35 - What is a Vasana?
13:35 - The real problem with venting
15:45 - Observe the mental habit of your mind
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[stevoydtv]

Venting is a bad idea, because someone on cams might catch you - and then you’ll have a hard time explaining why they saw you climbing out of a vent and you’ll look sus.

Don’t vent!

[Madchris]

Venting turning into the unskippable ad. Man its so automatic for me to vent and it even exhausts me. I feel bad for my friends when I do. It is getting better though

[nintynomreader]

Venting is really bad because people will vote you out for being sussy :(

[babaganouche]

I learned this the hard way. If you are going through something really tough and have someone you can trust, they can usually tolerate you venting the 1st time. If you continue to vent without doing anything to fix the problems, people don't want to continue to be around you. It brings down other people's moods and is frustrating when people can make different choices, but they don't want to because it is difficult.

I also had to learn to make boundaries between myself and patients as well. It's really sad because a lot of people don't have anyone and showing people a little bit of kindness sometimes ends up with them trauma dumping on you at work. I want to be empathetic, but it was one of several things thay contributed to my burn out.

[chandora]

I was fully expecting him to say “You’ve been venting all day, farting farting farting but never shitting!”

[jessicaonymous]

This video has helped me a lot. I bike to work weekly, and there is one road that poses many hazards to my physical safety. This could be avoided if the city expanded sidewalk access. This video pushed me to draft a letter to city officials voicing my concerns and provide examples of how this project would positively impact the community at large. It's a rough draft, but it is the first step of many to seek the change I would like to see. Thank you for posting!

[mikeesteves]

a friend of mine often vents to me but i dont think she needs me to pose a solution or much of an opinion other than validation. Shes just easily emotionally overwhelmed but she usually generally already has an idea of how to deal with the problem she just needs to touch base and recalibrate.

[Dreykopff]

There is so much venting without doing a thing in gaming communities alone, it's insane. I've seen so many people not enjoy their game but then also not quit it. It feels like such a common "tell me your life is shit without telling me your life is shit" moment.

[RebeccaLoran]

What he talks about is venting(without action) leads to problems. What I've been practicing in therapy for five years now is recognizing that my venting has led to action and real changes, and has become faster and less damaging as I've moved forward. Despite this I still accuse myself of not making any progress despite making significant progress. I'm learning to accept that I am strong and capable of doing great things.

[saphironkindris]

Venting has helped me in some rough spots, but I've noticed it.. pushes people away, a lot. Even if I ask beforehand 'hey, can I vent to you', after I do, that friend typically pulls away a bit afterwords rather than helping me out with my problem. Of course, that just leads to the 'This person doesn't really care about you' thoughts which cancels out any cartharsis I would have gotten from venting to begin with.

I definitely feel the 'used early in life to cope with unfixable problems but becomes maladaptive later' thing. It's kind of taught me to start seeing helplessness as a default condition. :/

[Jabberwockybird]

Thank you for this video! I've noticed that people with anger issues don't feel better with venting. They just get some kind of anger momentum that builds up

[eesynopsis]

I am a hair stylist. I have highly considered pursuing a different career because of the amount of venting I experience from clients on a daily basis. I have to multi-task and do a million different things, all while being expecting to be an emotional rock for people. It is BEYOND. EXHAUSTING. And it's caused me to lose passion for a job I genuinely once-loved.

Please don't use your hair stylist as a therapist, lol

***Edit*** : I *absolutely* acknowledge the utter irony of my own comment being a vent! I guess I do it, too? Good to be aware of! I appreciate everyone's perspective, advice, and comments :) I definitely want to take the steps necessary to improve upon my own situation :D

[cullietron]

I get why venting without doing something can be harmful but I still think there’s some harm to bottling up your emotions. Like my mental state severely deteriorates personally when I go too long without talking about issues I have.

[TrebleCat]

This is a great video. My dad was a single father who vented to me at the end of his workday - after a while I just thought “this is what people do” and now in my marriage I vent a lot too. This video was a wakeup call and also helped me realize that venting perpetuates negative self-talk and image as well. If we can't solve our own problems then what CAN we do. It's a slippery slope!

[chompompcharly]

I won't lie, when i saw the thumbnail, i had the flash thought of "Well i guess i just have zero options after all, and should just keep everything to myself until i die", Which is very overly dramatic i know but it was a genuine feeling. In our discord server, there is an opt-in vent room, where we, well, vent about our problems, big or small, and then have a genuine conversation about it, and we try our best to actually offer solutions, and for a second i thought that was some horrible terrible thing and that even this attempt at helping each other was something we would need to quit. Of course if you actually watch the video, Dr.K has all the usual nuance about it, and how venting emptily, with no willingness to accept solutions ever, is the big problem, which most people would agree with. But as silly as it might sound i was actually kind of afraid to watch it, and almost skipped it altogether. To the people responsible for the thumbnails, i KNOW you have to play the algorithm to reach the most people, it's a compromise, but please please, please make sure they reflect dr.k's main points. It might seem silly and or pathetic, but it really hit me.

[landendays]

Healthy GG, your title doesn't match the content. As said in the video, venting isn't always a bad idea, it's only a bad idea when there's no action proceeding the venting

edit: Dr K also says in the video that venting is beneficial for children coping with unsolvable problems

also, just clarifying, i don't think this is a huge deal at all, but just removing "Always" would make the title less contradicting and still intriguing

[lorroloco]

Did you know it’s proven that women live longer because they vent to each other, and help eachother through it.
Venting isn’t the problem, it’s the people around you who you vent to.

[josephvlogsdon]

The reason people vent online is because they often don’t have anyone in their personal life to vent to. It can make one feel that they aren’t alone. Of course, the best place to vent is in therapy, but not everyone can afford or has access to it, and even then, it has to be with the right therapist. Through venting, I can sometimes come to conclusions about how I feel about my life or situation, leading to genuine revelations. One can also form genuine online friendships through venting, although rare. It has its limitations, of course.

[littlebird]

Had a friend once who would jump into a discord call of like, 8 mutual friends and vent about "I have no friends no one loves me." I felt pretty close to this guy so after 2 years of him doing this over and over, I ended up blocking him and cut contact. It really hurt me to hear him say that every day despite the fact me and 7 other people would take time out of the week to play video games, watch movies, even VR chat hangout party's on the weekends during COVID. I wonder if he's still saying that with whoever he's hanging out with now.
I miss him, but it was to much for me. I started taking his words personally after all that time.

[Zithorius]

I feel like people should just be more empathetic, people vent to me all the time because I can be trusted with it. It never bothers me