Autism & Theory of Mind

I have "Theory of Mind" difficulties. And if you have autism, you may do too.

In this third episode of Agony Autie, I talk about "Theory of Mind", hopefully giving some fun tips and examples to try and improve the way we communicate with each other.

ALL people with autism have the triad of "Social, Emotional & Communication" difficulties....We can often find it hard to understand other people's emotions and perspectives, and even harder to explain our own behaviors. Difficulties understanding emotions is known as 'Alexithymia' & I struggle greatly with this...we'll of course do a separate blog on this).

If you enjoyed the video, you can 'like' my page to keep getting more. Share with your friends and family too—the way we see and talk about autism needs to change.

***Please note: we're not professionals, just a husband & wife team, using our time to make this happen. We're not professionals. This is MY interpretation of Theory of Mind. I'm only one person with autism—there're so many other stories to tell.

[jshir]

*I find that non-autistic people often have the same theory of mind problems especially when dealing with us autistics. And when we Neurodivergents talk amongst ourselves there’s no mind blindness and we have empathy for one another*

[tara]

This was such a fascinating video! I absolutely love your personality and how you address the confusion about autism. You make it so that we can relate to you, to help bridge that very gap you're talking about. When you say that it's hard to empathize if you've never experienced something, you truly address everyone, even those considered "not on the spectrum." I truly enjoyed the few minutes inside of your beautiful mind. You were so moving that this is my very first YouTube comment (I think), and I just HAD to tell you.

[jrichard]

It's funny, because I'm autistic and my experience with gifts is the one you showed as being more neurotypical in nature. In my case, it's always been the neurotypical thinking I didn't like the gift because my facial expressions and body language remained completely neutral the entire time. I've actually had to train myself to outwardly express how much I like a gift, because it wasn't overtly obvious when I didn't.

[jenwoods]

My son just turned 17 and just got a diagnosis of autism. We suspected it for a long time, but specialists were distracted by the severity of his language disability that they didn't notice the severity of his social difficulties. Anyway, I've been looking for videos to share with friends and family who would like to learn more about autism and how it might explain some of my son's wonderful and unique behaviour, and I just love your video, so I will share it. I really like the way you explain things with stories, it just makes things so much easier to understand. Thank you and take care!

[anonnymouses]

The “[couple laying in bed, woman on her side facing away from man, man looking up at ceiling dreamily] her: he’s probably thinking about hot women
Him: thinking about any weird obscure thing other than hot women” meme fits this concept pretty well that most can grasp. We just can’t be in people’s heads and many people aren’t outwardly vocal about what’s going on with them mentally.

I notice that I give a daily chatter of what I’m thinking to my fiancé and he’s only recently begun reciprocating that chatter. It’s nice to know what he’s really thinking about or what songs are stuck in his head or when we talk he’s just more expressive. I feel closer to him when he reciprocated this behavior because it gives me an insight into his moods and and body language to give cues for me to pick up.

I love this video, you’re amazing. It’s so good to have words to conceptualize my experiences and you’re the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to that. Thank you for what you do for our community, and for us as individuals. ❤️❤️❤️

[laurenroth]

I like it! I have autism and you just taught me a lot about myself!

[tudibelle]

Thank you, this video was really helpful to me. I am pursuing an Autism diagnosis, and really didn’t know what “theory of mind meant”, which was stressing me out. Your examples really resonated with me, especially about thinking everyone hates me and not understanding if people are having fun. Thank you.

[annabraper]

I just "found" your channel and I am actually crying and hugging myself while binging all your videos. You are like my translator. Finally I can explain how I feel <3! You don't know how this feels....finally...thank you so so much!

[yameyumex]

I want you to know that your videos are SO important to me. I'm a 28 year old woman, I've suspected that I'm autistic for 5-6 years but my now former psychologist's views were outdated as hell. The only diagnosis he cared about was PTSD, "because it's the only diagnosis that states that a person has been through something". And he connected EVERY single trait and behaviour of mine to my PTSD. I've felt so extremely broken and like I'm nothing but a result of what's happened to me. Now I have finally, a lot thanks to you, realised that I am in fact autistic. So I reached out to the health services and got accepted immediatly. I spent like an hour in total talking about my autistic traits and that person was basically like "HOW has no one ever listened to you or noticed your autistic traits? It's inconceivable to me. Your autism is as clear as day". So I will finally get the kind of help that's right for me. So thank you for being you and for making these videos. Much love from Sweden.

[berenyildirim]

I really like your video! It makes me feel good because it makes me understand someone who is different than me.  I really appreciate that you inform people on YouTube so they can be more sensitive. Thank you for teaching people about autism. We learn a lot from you and we are very happy about it!

[NorthernLights]

Great video! You explained everything so well. I'm studying to become an STA (Specialist Teaching Assistant) and currently work in a school for children with Autism. Your videos are very helpful for me to understand how the pupils in our school think and feel.

[moomanni]

I CRIED at the "Two hours later" part😂😂😂 I've just been diagnosed and I can totally relate. Love your bubbly personality and how you explain things. Makes total sense :)

[charlotterobers]

I've recently had an autism reality check, and the things you've spoken about so far have *HITTT* me! So thank you. I cried at your psychologist's reaction just imagining if that's how someone reacted to a gift I gave them 😭

[sagelenyatsa]

Haha you’re so adorable! Studying for psychology and I really appreciate you uploading this.

[bradleyhill]

I'm a counseling grad student and I found your video to be very informative with regards to the perspective of autistic people. It helped me to understand where and why there is such a disconnect sometime, and why we confuse each other sometimes. Thank you for taking the time to explain your perspective! I feel like I understand the issues that you talked about better now than I did before watching your video.

[fanofnormalclips]

Loved the video! I work with kids who have autism, and I recognize a lot of the things you mentioned in the behaivor of my students. It helps to have someone around who can 'translate' so to speak.

[JohnParkes]

If ever there was an Agony Autie video that has popped up to answer a definite need in an autie household this is it. Thank you!

[NeurodivergentMom]

This is the best comprehensive video about theory of mind that I came across so far. Or at least it makes the most sense to my autistic brain. Thank you!❤

[georgialeigh]

this was so insightful and really made me understand the work I've been doing on Theory of Mind in my Psychology degree. Absolutely loved it. It's so interesting to see the perspective of someone who actually experiences these problems, rather than just reading about it and trying to just memorise the information. Great video:)

[asyaandayla]

Thank you for making this video. I am doing an exam question at university about theory of mind and autism and it was nice to hear this from someone who has autism. My 14 year old son also has autism and I have sent this video to him too. I love all your examples and the flip side you done to them too. Brilliant! X