5 Things to Know Before You “Netflix and Chill” With Someone

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You’ve been on a date or two with someone and things are going pretty well. Then suddenly they ask you, “Wanna come over to my place and watch a movie tonight?”

Is it too soon? What if you like this person but you feel it’s moving a little too fast? In today’s video, I share 5 things you need to know before you “Netflix and chill” if you want more than just a casual hookup.

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▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 1:48 – It’s Out!
1:48 – 2:43 – “Netflix & Chill” on a Second Date?
2:43 – 3:14 – Aligning With the Results You Want
3:14 – 3:52 – #1 You Set the Pace
3:52 – 6:19 – #2 Decide Your Boundaries Ahead of Time
6:19 – 7:05 – #3 When Familiarity Tricks You
7:05 – 7:39 – #4 Don’t Change Your Behavior Just Because of This
7:39 – 8:55 – #5 Setting a Precedent When It Comes to Effort
8:55 – 9:47 – A Word on Safety
9:47 – 10:38 – A Whirlwind of a Week + A Heartfelt Thank You
10:38 – 11:18 – Find Your Person

[maggiemaggie]

Ladies please don't do that with someone you have only known for one date. Desperate behavior does set a precedent .... For you and others... And leads to desperate situations and undesirable results. If you want to be loved and cared for, this is a Red flag.Tell him you're not ready. If he reacts negatively, that's all you need to know about his character. Move on. You've just saved yourself.
🙏💖🌍🕊️

[IAmMonicaDenise]

As a relationship coach - I would never advise a woman to go to a man’s home or allow him to come to yours until you know him better. You MUST use wisdom and keep yourself safe!

[amordeverdad]

Just know that the right man would never suggest that kind of plan in a second date...and know that any man that suggest that is not respecting you or looking for a true relationship... Men know very well what is acceptable and what is not...and believe me, a man that is really interested in you wouldn't risk loosing you suggesting that kind of second date... it's only a recipe to heartbreak... "situationships, friends with beneficts or ghosting after that" ...respect yourself and say is a too intimate plan for a second date for you and if he doesnt want other kind of date in public, you will know you saved yourself from heartbrake.. take care of your heart, you only have one my sister🙏💖

[Knights_of_Zurg]

The first time I had my now wife over to my place was unplanned. We'd planned on meeting at a park for a picnic, but it was raining, so I called an audible, pushed the furniture in my living room to the side, spread out the blanket, and we had the picnic on my living room floor. I'd still made the food (salad, garlic bread, fettucini alfredo(I think it was chicken but it might have been shrimp) and strawberry cheesecake for dessert (yes, I cook and bake)

My wife said she was so impressed by the effort I put into not giving up on the picnic atmosphere that it made her like me that much more.

So yeah, what he said here is absolutely critical. Don't reduce the effort you put into making sure you both enjoy your time together. My wife and I still plan regular dates. That's important.

BTW, we celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary last October, so take it for what it's worth.

[anxen]

Idk why im watching this, i never want to netflix with other ppl. 😂

[fionaschiffl]

You had me tearing up a bit at the end when I realised you were telling us all to know our boundaries and stick to them. My ex of 30+yrs trampled over my boundaries from the beginning but my Mum made me trauma bond to a nasty sister and to be a people pleaser so my boundaries were lines in the sand. I’ve been separated for 2.5yrs and divorced for 6 months that I initiated and I still don’t feel single (there’s no contact). I’ve done 7yrs of healing and now have boundaries but not ready to be anything other than single even though I’d love to be held. Thank you for telling me it’s ok to take my time and value my boundaries.

[annieb]

In life if you only follow your emotions you will endup sad, you have to have a plan.
I love Matthew I wish he was my brother, he' has so much integrity.

[donp]

And be prepared for the other person to stop "dating" you if you don't go over to theirs.
I wish I knew myself enough to not go all the way with people too soon. I thought I just wanted the physical relationship but when they pulled away I always felt used. It took me years to realize that it's not prudish to take things slow if you feel dejected after casual sex.
I enforced those boundaries last week with someone and he seemed kind of disappointed that we didn't take things further, and gave up all effort to have another date. I was wise enough to not ask for one.
Obviously, I am a bit angry at the amount of people who will get to know someone only to get them to bed and then dump them if it's not mind-blowingly amazing. Pretty much every person I have met over the past few years has only wanted that, and it really sucks, so be prepared to get ditched if you are looking for something "real".

[theresagarza]

I'm glad you're reminding everyone that they shouldn't feel pressured to do the Netflix & Chill, and that being alone with someone really is risky. And you're right - it's not about being a prude, it's about being prudent. If a guy gave me shit about turning down an offer of Netflix & Chill, I'd write him off as sketchy. For the life of me, every time I hear about a woman who's gone missing or been murdered & find out she was on a "date" with a stranger that nobody in her life knew about, it boggles my mind.

[yvettepolanco]

I say don't go to their house until you've gone on 8 SOLID and awesome dates with your love interest, and even then, don't give in to sex on that ninth date!! Too many women these days give it up way too quickly and this is TERRIBLE. Women, please value yourselves, no matter how old you are, and also be SAFE in every sense of the word!!

[the.toxic.phoenix]

Netflix and chill IS code for sex! 😂 And of course it's a MASSIVE red flag. Why put yourself in the vulnerable position of being alone in a random man's house?! First dates should be quick and easy and in a public place, like coffee

[lb]

I wish people could want to watch tv together without it being a red flag. I just like to watch tv or movies together with friends and people.

[meetandinspire]

"Don't do anything with someone in their home that you wouldn't do if you were on a date at an outdoor movie theater."

[VictoriaFernandes-lquf]

Congratulations! You sure are a gentleman, kind and wise! Keep up your work! Thank you

[aaronbastien]

Just got your book the day after release, can’t wait to dive into it! Thanks for all your advice!

[julieyoung]

I read about you in the Sunday Times this morning and then checked your videos and interviews on You Tube with your good mate Lewis and by noon I'd bought your book! And I'm showing my 19 year old lad your vids too. He was very impressed. You make so much sense and I come from an adoption / social services background, so have learned the child dev behavioural, effects of abuse, neuroscience etc. So glad you refer to these things that inform our behaviour and feelings.

[janek]

Yes, your video/content has helped me 7yrs ago when I was going through a divorce. Thank you Matthew sincerely. I have ordered your book through Amazon, glad they deliver it to Taiwan, can't wait to read it :) I admire how you have been so persistent. Wish you all the success.

[melcee]

Glad you mentioned safety. Just remember that video of the girl and her date taking the elevator up to his apartment on the first date.. and then we see him leave … with her dead body inside a suitcase.

[Dmo]

Congratulations Matthew! You are such a friend/bro/therapist/nice guy. Sending love to you and Audrey 🥰

[Bluesmoke]

Matthew is so sweet! You can tell he really just loves people and wants the best for everyone.