Is Alex The Worst Marriage Candidate In Stardew Valley?

Alex scored at the very bottom of my marriage polling. Was it deserved? Let's talk about it.

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[ssirt_]

If I'm being honest I kinda appreciate that not everyone in this town is a perfect person in every social aspect, because at least to me, it makes things seem more realistic and it gives a lot of growth to some characters that at the beginning are not the nicest people.
We cannot expect everyone to have the same education or knowledge as most people because not everyone had the chance to. And seeing those people that seemed kinda rude at the beginning opening up to new possibilities, and being nicer, is honestly very rewarding

[OutlawGrrl]

My favorite thing about having Alex as a husband is that he still goes into town at least once a week to spend a day with his grandparents. He also brings scraps from the farm for his dog Dusty. It's nice to see that he's still involved with his family. Plus Evelyn is a sweetheart, I'm so happy to have her as my grandma.

[kiradeki]

I always liked that Alex actually addresses the whole "gay" aspect if you date him as a male farmer, makes him feel more...real, I suppose? It bums me out that there isn't a similar feel with any other male marriage partner.

[HoneyButter_]

I wish theyd given him more character growth for if your character is female. Would've been nice to see him learn that the way he treated girls wasnt actually that great

[lostfroglet]

I wish that, just like how Alex unlearns his homophobia, he got to unlearn his sexism if you’re a woman. I feel like I wouldn’t be so detached from him if he did that

[SillySidEver]

I've always seen Alex as a closet gay man dealing with a ton of internalized homophobia. His arc just makes more sense if the player is a man

[darksentinel]

I feel like Alex’s entire character is basically built for someone playing as a male farmer.

[IsomerMashups]

And this is why Alex ranks near the top of gay men's favourites and bottom of everyone else's.

[PharmDACR]

I like Alex. I’d attribute his dumb, macho behavior in part to having had crappy male role models (I love George because he’s an irascible old coot, but, still), and in part because he has grown up idolizing professional gridball players, who are no doubt lionized in the “Today we interview Jim Bexley Speed, top attacker in the world, about his throng of adoring girlfriends!” style. Once you’ve chipped away at that nonsense, you see him as a sensitive guy worth knowing, who’s just presenting what he thinks is an appropriate front to the world.

Good video as always!

[jettash]

Alex has always been my favourite character. Even on my first ever playthrough, there was just something about him that drew me to him. I agree that he definitely works better for playing as a male farmer (I've never played as a female farmer so I didn't really know about his more sexist comments early on, I suppose) and it does definitely show more of a character growth in him. He's not perfect but with the right guidance, he can learn and does so (again, more so if you play male lol). I think he's genuinely a sweet guy, he just hasn't had exactly the 'right' people to look up to, for lack of a better saying?

[cormorantcolors]

I’ve never done a marriage route, but Alex is absolutely my favorite marriage candidate. I really hated him at first because of some of the stuff he said to me, but George was my best friend so I found myself talking to him often while I was there. Then one rainy day I got his cutscene with Dusty and was suddenly intrigued. Nit forgiving, just wanted to know some more. I ended up giving him the eggs I had to spare and seeing all of his heart events within the year. The one where he apologizes to the player is my favorite cutscene in the game, there’s just something so impactful about his progression as a character. Maybe it helps a little that I actually got his cutscenes out of order (with eight hears being the second one I got, five the third, and six the fourth) but that’s besides the point haha. I think it kind of gets into why I was a Shane hater for a long time. Shane, and honestly quite a few characters in the game, serve a bit of a savior complex. They’re broken, but the player can “fix” them. I really hate that sort of dynamic, it feels one-sided and unhealthy. Alex, on the other hand, is someone who is inspired by the player to work on himself. You don’t see the offscreen moments of realization and betterment that you might with other characters, but when you stop by every day you see the effects bit by bit.

[justjordyn]

I’ll admit it, if I wasn’t going through same feelings as Shane on my first play through, I’d have chosen Alex. I liked his backstory and his changes. I felt like he was the stereotypical jock character who was never taught to just be himself or confide in others. Idk his age, but compared to the other candidates. He doesn’t really hang out with those around his age. It’s primarily just his grandparents

[eimajunknown]

my favorite alex dialogue is when he suggests discussing "phi-lo-so-phy"

[lenorasvaughn]

i personally think if he had a different role model maybe not george then he would be so much different and not say all those things to the female farmer

[OMGitscarl]

alex's post marriage lines if you are playing as a guy are also so cute and wholesome, Alex as a character just fits so much better and his problems fixed if you marry him as a guy (unlike shane that is)

[radioinactivescarlet_]

Alex was raised by two elderly people in a small town. Of course he would struggle with gender roles at first. He means well, and that’s the important thing❤

[s-a-r-a-h]

Alex is a LOT like this football player who was obsessed with me in my senior year - macho and kind of misogynist on the outside, but actually pretty nice when you got to know him (but in his case, he was too aggressive for my liking)

[folgerkelley]

I really like Alex for 2 reasons not really discussed in this video

1. Most marital candidates can be categorized by their aspirations/independence. As you brought up with the Abigail video this can put the younger characters in a strange place where when they marry it sort of feels like they’re being stunted, while for the older/established characters it can feel like a more natural part of their life, Elliot is still writing, Leah is still sculpting, etc. I’m going to call Shane, Alex, and Penny the big three exceptions to this rule as Penny’s primary aspiration seems to be having a family—-so mission accomplished if she has kids with the farmer—Shane is in the midst of a crisis and his marriage story is much of a savior story, the farmer supporting him with their love—-and Alex

As you brought up, Alex’s story is one in which the garner teachers him to be vulnerable and emotionally expressive in a healthier way, that benefits his own well-being and also dampens his macho put-on, unlike many of the other marital characters Alex’s aspiration is one that he *overcomes* through dating and marrying the farmer. Being a football star is part of his quest to prove his worth—if he’s good at football he has to be good enough to prove himself by going pro. In-game this is sort of teetered as a ridiculous or unrealistic goal. Abigail wants to fight monsters and do magic in a world and town where both things are possible and not uncommon but Alex wants to somehow become a professional athlete despite seemingly not being affiliated with any school or minor leagues. He’s not even on a team. He’s not actually working towards a goal as much as coping with his sense of inadequacy.

But through the farmer’s relationship Alex learns to unhither his self worth and his physique and sportsmanship, and finds strength and security in his relationship to the farmer. Alex’s arc isn’t cut short by marrying the farmer and settling down it’s COMPLETED — Alex is secure enough in his masculinity and self worth to find joy and purpose in settling down as a stay-at-home father on the successful farm his breadwinner spouse runs. It’s why the misogany doesn’t bother me because at the end of the day the farm is always player-headed. If a Female farmer marries Alex that’s still Alex taking on the domestic/submissive role in a marriage. The player is always head of the house and usually presumably the breadwinner on the farm. (I kind of hope Harvey is making good money he IS a doctor)

2. Alex’s relationship with the player is a complete inversion of the hallmark rural romance trope. Alex is from Stardew Valley while the player is from the city and just moved here. Typically a hallmark movie will have someone from the city off break from a big city job visit a small rural town and meet a local business owner or assistant at a family owned store, who is usually cocky and snarky and a little misogynistic or sweet and naive and a little chauvinistic, and they teach the big city visitor that their job isn’t as important as the rural community they’ve been apart of their whole life and they fall in love and the city slicker abandons their life and becomes part of their rural boyfriend’s life, working in the family store or whatever.

Except….Alex doesn’t have anything going on. The farmer does. The farmer IS a former city slicker but they get a hold of things in as little as 2 years while Alex watches, failing to pursue his dream as an athlete. As such Alex is humbled by the player’s success and becomes part of THEIR world by moving to the farm and giving up his dreams of sport ball to be a stay-at-home farm dad

[definetlylucina]

I always felt kind of bad with Alex, but I never romanced him partially because of the sexist comments, but mostly because I really liked Sebastian (which is apparently the common opinion)

Also implying Dalinar even remembers Renarin exists long enough to think he’s worthless lol

[jasperjazzie]

honestly i feel like calling alex worthless is one of the cruelest dialogue options you can choose in the game, there's some pretty harsh things you can say but that one's probably the worst