Co-Founder Conflict & Why I Quit my Startup | How to Fix a Dying Company | Founder’s Journey: Ep.2

Co-founder disputes are the No. 1 early startup killer, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Learn how success masks conflict, how too little AND too much conflict create an issue, and how to ACTUALLY get help and SAVE your company.

1:05 How Success Masks Co-Founder Conflict
1:42 Too Little Conflict
4:14 The Four Horsemen
5:49 Too Much Conflict
10:47 Solution Get Help!

I’m Garry Tan, venture capitalist and founder at Initialized Capital. We were earliest investors in billion dollar startups like Coinbase and Instacart, and I’m a Forbes Midas List Top 100 venture capitalist in the world. We want these videos to be about helping people build world-class teams and startups that touch a billion people. Our startups have gone on to create more than $40 billion in market value so far, and Initialized has over $770M in assets under management.

Please like this video and subscribe to my channel if you want to see more videos like this!

Find me on Instagram where I can answer your startup advice questions by DM -

[mloneusk]

Garry, the reason why you couldn't sleep is cause you left your glasses on

[gerard_donnelly]

"How did you become such a good leader?” someone asked Nelson Mandela. “Because I learned to speak last, ” Mandela succinctly replied. Listening and letting others know you've taken on board what they've said is such a good trait. If you disagree, the fact that they know you understand their point of view is often enough to avoid a conflict.

[jefftatarchuk]

So good! My co-founders and I use a tool called the JAR (Judgments, Assumptions, Resentment). It's a safe space for us to share anything that might be in our JAR to share and get clarity from the rest of the team and be able to sort through it no matter how small or embarrassing it might be. We were growing so fast in the beginning that we needed these types of meetings regularly. Now it's sporadically but still necessary.

[Sankids]

I’m starting my first company at 27 in Thailand and your videos are my guidebook. Thanks man!

[AbielZulioM]

The fact that I love Garry Tan's channel so much is because he provided an English sub, which is helping me a lot to learn many new perspectives about startups. Love from Indonesia, keep up the excellent work, Garry!

[WordsPictures]

Garry YOU ARE SUCH A GIFT! Thank you so much for this. I really needed this. You've just called me out in such a helpful way in business and my personal life. Thank you Sir!

[abhiglad]

Thanks for this video. I think a management lesson that founders need to learn is how to manage communication and conflict. A key lesson I learnt during an Organizational behavior class is to a) Have an open communication and address conflict for a relationship that matters, b) Avoid conflict if the relationship doesn’t matter in the long term.

The issue with conflict avoidance is that it leads to bad precedent and organization going down a wrong path and setting harmful cultural practice.

I love that you brought this to fore. Thanks for a critical conflict management lesson.

[Aavanth]

This hit the spot. Thank you. I recall these days from my own startup. We were 4 co-founders and two (majority shareholders) were going head to head all the time in the early days of the company. Everything was going well, we were making money, however, the future became so uncertain due to this conflict. At one point I proposed to moderate the conflict as a third party, after months of witnessing the conflict I knew that I was not able to outsmart them, but I could outcalm them. My sole focus became, offset the flow of panic between them, and the best way of doing this was through active listening and vicarious embodiment - trying to put myself in their space so that the other party had to listen through a vessel.

It was by far the hardest part of my job but it worked. Sometimes the hardest discussions require the least amount of words, we have since made it a policy that all conflicts between executives are to be moderated by a third party. We call them empathy advisors and their only job is to offset flow of panic and outcalm parties when they become too heated.

[cupertinosteve]

Thank you Garry. You’re such a great storyteller ... you experience, you reflect, you distill and you share. Such generosity.

For me, I do have a company I run ... but every time you say “startup”, I hear “the startup of me” ... I just hear life lessons that are universal and lead to a meaningful life. It’s not just what you ... but how you do it, why you do it and who you do it with.

Thank you.

[TheLastCodebender]

I have a heard a good analogy once, finding a cofounder is like marriage. Except you will spend more time with them than with your spouse, so take the time to choose wisely.

[dogarumarius]

One of the most insightful videos I have seen in a long while. Brilliant work! Keep these coming - I absolutely love your style & your way of thinking.

[barrywinata]

Great job on another valuable and cerebral video. Your insight into foundership and funding is priceless. I'm a founding engineer and part-time Angel here in SV with startup experience and thinking of now making the shift into investing and the VC world. Your insights are helping me bridge that gap.

[godwinhschan]

Such an important message to get out there. I've already made the mistake of being conflict-avoidant in one of my earlier ventures, so these are some great tips to keep in mind moving forward.

[rupjolly]

Great video as usual. I think every company like you said has some form of cofounder conflict. Building companies is tough with lots of pressure, sometimes our ideal selves don't always show up. I think you nailed it. More often than not, we don't get help and everyone suffers as a result. Thanks for bringing up the coaching piece

[raulcame]

This subject personally cannot be stressed enough... We are a young startup and I follow the 5Dysfunctions of a team religiously and even then conflict falls through the crack because I now know why ... I don’t confront them enough... Big Thanks Garry!

[himanshikushwahach]

2:18 ..here we go....exactly no matter how good things u want to keep in your startup..not choosing the correct co-founder will always ruin it

[ericllam]

I was skeptical clicking on this video but this is really good advice, having been in a 4 person founding team for 7 years now

[helixquar]

The great thing about your content is even though they are framed in the context of a startup, a lot of concepts also apply to a lot of other things.

This video is basically love/relationship advice.

[nstyle]

your videos are so good, they're gold dust, thank you for making them

[yeeboy]

thank you for sharing this; this video came to me in an extremely relevvant time, I started a little company/ business with a friend in december of last year... and a lot of these conflict questions and misalignment in vision between founders has been cropping up. I'm not sure what the future holds, but this video gave me good framework for what questions to be asking.

thanks for sharing the story and lessons with us Garry! all the best -Rafif