Lesbian Dating: Falling in Love with Straight Girls

Today's question was submitted by Dianna, who resides in Vermont. She writes, "I have a bad habit of falling for straight girls. I always find out after I've fallen in love. Does this mean I'm going for women who are unavailable to me? How can I fix this?"

[music] Well Dianna, the first question that comes to mind is...
How are you falling in love with straight girls? How is it that you're falling in love with somebody that you don't know is straight?

So I'm wondering if you're not asking the right questions early on, or that you're not asking questions period early on. And you just following with your heart?

The important thing here is that you wanna be with somebody who you can feel safe with, right? Somebody who knows who they are, who knows their sexual orientation and if they're not comfortable on their sexual orientation yet, at least they're working towards being comfortable and there's some insight and awareness at least they're working towards an awareness around where they are themselves in their own sexual orientation and their OWN development around that.

So I'm concerned about the fact that you fall in love with somebody that, that you just don't know if they're gay or straight so... think about that please next time you go out there and you meet somebody that you're into think about.... "Alright I need to ask this person questions about their past questions about their sexual orientation, questions about how they feel on their own skin...... " That sort of thing.

So hopefully this is helpful and thanks for submitting a question. Good luck.

[julied]

This happens to me all the time. I just fall for them. Then I try to get over it. I keep telling myself they're straight. Stop thinking about her

[yukulele]

Hey Dr Frankie, I just discovered your vids, and they are great... well I have to say except this one (so far) ! Oriya and dx are right, you don't choose who you love at first sight or at first chat ! Most of the time you meet someone at work or while doing sport/leisure and you start to have a great friendship that may change in stronger feelings, even if you know she is straight, you can't help it you create a connexion ! I guess this is as old as lesbians exist... Anyway if someone has a real analysis of that, I am interested :) But I am wondering could it be that the lucky girl feels it (unconsciously or not) and she maintains the link because she feels loved and it gives her more and more confidence ? Having someone in love near you is addictive, I can only say you have to stop it as soon as you realize it... but easier said than done I personnaly can't :(

[jacquesboots]

what should i do when im dating a girl that she acted like she's gay and then after that just left me for a guy and then told me she's actually straight? please what should i do... im dying

[Julieber]

I admit I am attractive to straight girls.

[dikshakumari]

I fall for a butch girl she is an army officer.... She loves me too... But once we had a fight... Nd I said that m breaking up.... But I didn't mean it now she is so angry and she's is not considering us as a couple still she talks to mee... Nd still she get angry and worried if I don't talk to her that much... She loves me but not showing it what should I do.... To make her fall for mee more and more...

[mieliesdelampo]

Funny strange I fall in love with a girl and later she turn out to be guy. Strange thing

[marvinmontgomery]

You must submit to Islam only Islam can save you from becoming an old childless lesbian waiting to die in a nursing home all alone with no children to take care of you when you are old. You must find a Muslim man marry him and give him many sons you must make him proud to call you one of his many wives and you must be proud to be one of his many wives