Ex-Trad Wives Get Candid About the Downside of the Lifestyle

Tamron is talking about the “trad wives” movement taking over social media in this episode. We’re exploring what’s behind the return to traditional gender roles in relationships. Tamron dives into the conversation that has the internet divided. We meet two ex-trad wives Jennie Gage, a former trad wife of 24 years, and Enitza Templeton, who describes her former marriage as unfulfilling and controlling. #TamFam, this is a hot topic you don’t want to miss! Press play.

 
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[jackiecolbert]

So true my mom was a stay at home mom. My father was in charge of the money. I remember when he wouldn't give her money. I was married 21yrs and my ex husband threw me away to go with another woman. I never really made much money. I had to beg for alimony while his girlfriend was telling him a bunch of crap. You live your life trying to please your husband and children. To in the end have nothing to show for it. Divorced at 43 and had to start over. Thank yall for speaking the truth.

[laqueatabrown]

so don't see a lot of black women in this so-called TRAD group??

[michellepalmer]

People need to keep this in mind when social media tell you that women make a milloon dollars from divorce

[vanessamunni]

i agree, its cute when you're younger and hot. once you old, you will know what a man is capable of.

[ambernicole]

Everyone should learn how to be self-sufficient. There is nothing good about codependency. Culturally, I don't see enough balance.

[lanaleightaylor]

I live in Hollywood. I once knew a lady, who loved and wanted the trad wife life. She and her husband were baby boomers. She was super educated, had even went to law school. But, she didn't want to work again. She had held an excellent job with the City for many years, before getting married. Her husband promised her the life she wanted and for a while it worked. She loved homemaking. Her husband was wonderful, loving and very successful behind the scenes in Hollywood. He started having health issues and accidents on set. Money was up and down. She never got that million dollar house in the Hollywood Hills she dreamed of. She went back to work reluctantly. She even went to community college and added to her degree. One day her husband had a stroke and died. You just never know how things could turn. I'm not against women choosing to be homemakers. It's a personal choice. I just say, have real working skills, a degree, a trade... something you can use if the worse happens. My mom did not have a plan. My dad was abusive and left when I was an infant, after 17 yrs of marriage. She lived off of our child support and panicked every year we got closer to 18. She was a seamstress and in the 80s the factories were all shipped to china. She could not catch up with the world. She lacked the confidence and her self esteem was shattered after years of domestic violence. By God's grace, things worked out for her. She had loving supportive parents and eventually got SSI and SSA. My mom always says she regrets not learning more, going after her dreams etc. Ladies, please have a solid back up plan and talk to real trad wives who have lived a while. They can give you some solid wisdom. 🙏💞

[JeanetteDelgado-xc]

Tradwife life is fun the first few years but becomes exhausting just like everything in life, it becomes routine and if you’re not careful you can lose your identity

[LifeWithAdi_]

I’ve seen good women and mothers stay in a relationship after being disrespected by their husbands and they stay because they don’t have anything for themselves, nothing in the bank that’s theirs, no jobs, no retirement plan. They stay because they didn’t have a back up plan, they couldn’t even fall back on themselves anymore, they lost themselves 😢

[enumajek]

There's no way in this day & age that being a totally dependent-on-husband "trad wife" is good because life is just too unpredictable. The man can find someone else, he could die, he could become disabled, he can just change and it's not like women are marrying at young ages where they hadn't acquired any skills prior to marriage, so they should just keep doing what they were doing b4 they got married. When the kids come, they can change to part-time hours/gig jobs/start their own small company/work with their husband's company if he is a business owner etc, but to solely depend on another human being in this day & age in a trad wife role is signing up for the unknown & isn't advisable...

[BlackandBlessed]

Too many married women are divorcing and left with no money and no income and all they did was birth a whole nation 💔
Protect Women and Mothers now

[D_A_Marv]

Enitza should seek therapy. Sounds like she was in a controlled relationship

[angieowen]

I watched my mother be the 20th Century stay at home Mom. I can remember even as a young child how I felt bad for her, I'm also Gen X, so some of my friends had Mom's who worked outside the home. I knew as a child I'd never make the perfect traditional stay at home Mom. When my husband and I decided to get married, I had told him it was a deal breaker if he expected me to be a SAHM. Right after we got married my father passed away with cancer and there was my mother at age 45 no income and no education. She went back to school with one child still at home, and that furthered my argument to my husband that I needed to be able to support myself and any children we had if something were to happen to him. 35 years and 2 children later he is very thankful for my income.

[lifetaketwo]

The way they had Tamron read a statement from my ex husband, who was a brutally violent abuser for 24 years of marriage and then almost ended my life during our divorce, was pretty blindsiding. He’s not up to date on anything, and I wasn’t asked for the bank statements, court orders, arrears reports, eviction notices or ANYTHING before this statement being read on air. The show needs to be more protective of its guests who are domestic violence survivors. Tamron was amazing, but the producers really failed on this one.

[cheryldian]

Jenny had a controlling husband, the Mormon lifestyle is traditionally difficult

[ZBM-jjxr]

My parents both grew up in single parent homes. My dad due to grandpa dying young and my mom due to grandpa leaving the family for another woman and never looking back. They both saw their mothers struggle enormously to put food on the table. Both my parents came from a very traditional, religious background with traditional gender roles. Neither of them came anywhere close to being liberal or feminist in their political views, but one thing they did believe in: they loved me enough to not want me to have to struggle in life. That's why they encouraged me to get my education and have a career. They still wanted me to get married and have children and have all of that, they just also wanted me to be safe and be able to take care of myself if need be.

This push for the tradwife lifestyle is nothing more than an illusion. The women pushing it are working as influencers and making bank, while cosplaying being the financially dependent housewife with no back up plan. You're literally watching their back up plan and they will be fine if something happens, unlike the naive 20 year olds that think putting their entire existence into the hands of another is a full proof plan for the rest of their lives. The only people that benefit from complete financial dependency are abusers. Any partner worth a damn that truly cares for your well being will want you to be financially safe. Do not let yourself get scammed into poverty.

[bernicesanders]

I think moderation in all things is key. I don't agree with the statement that ALL women that live this way secretly regret this way of living.

[LisaLisaCJ]

Married 26 years. I worked but was underemployed and no degree. My husband decided to leave, cleaned out the bank accounts when I was laid off. Refused to pay the bills, took our daughters college money. We lost our home and my daughter and I had to live in a hotel. We had to rebuild. Bankrupt, broke, no car, bad credit. My daughter refuses to ever marry and have kids after what her father did. And I always blew off advice of keeping money and all the things older woman told me. Oh pick a good guy. Well he was one until midlife kicked in. Then it was the “ I never loved you” “ I never agreed to you being at home” We never had anything because of you” yeah……..

[rubychew]

Jenny is saying that you are an adult depending on a man. You don't have your own money and you don't have any viewpoints.

[RobinSpeer]

I was never a SAHW, I have always worked and told my husband that the ONLY way I would consider having children is if we had a house and I could stay home until the kids were old enough to fend for themselves. I'm glad that I never became a "trad wife" because fussing over the house and making food and raising children would have ruined me. There were times I wished I could stay home but glad that I didn't. Unless you have a healthy, equitable relationship with your spouse the "trad wife" thing is like walking in a mine field. The only advice I would give to a person that wants to be a "trad wife" is to get a prenup or some other legal document and keep a separate bank account for yourself so that you are not running out with just the clothes on your back.

[johnsoncarter]

Watch the movie Stepford Wives, cause this sounds more like that.