Why We Should Expect Less Of Love

Expecting that a romantic partner could answer all of our needs might sound very beautiful; but such idealism is in reality rather counter-productive, rendering us impatient, angry and ultimately bitter. We'd be advised to do something slightly unusual in order to love someone properly: expect a bit less of them.

FURTHER READING

“It can feel very weird, and a bit threatening, to talk about taking the pressure off a relationship. Our collective, inherited Romantic culture likes to imagine functioning couples doing more or less everything together and being the centre of each other’s lives. The good couple is, we are told, one in which two people mean more or less everything to one another.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Gemma Green-Hope

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[jesswen]

As the age-old saying goes, don't find someone who completes you, find someone who complements you.

[painexotic]

In other words, have friends and hobbies outside of romance.

[aquietplace]

What I’ve learned from this channel is that romantic idealism ruined everything and every good relationship only works from both members working hard against those ideals

[DaebakDaemon]

Long story short, have room for each other's individual growth.

[jeanricknunez]

I totally agree. Relationships start to fail when we project to our partner all our needs, problems, and concerns, without admitting the fact that our partners are not really the source of them all. Rather, it's our experiences in the past that have instilled these needs, and they have to be faced by the person alone, head on.

[shawnsum]

Expect less from people generally because then it wouldn’t hurt your feelings as much when your anticipated actions aren’t met. But rather be surprised when someone does something beyond your expectations.

[yassminhkimi]

" we will trully give love a chance when we stop believing it can single handedly save us "

[ossen]

*Love will come when you don't expect it, out of peace and balance.*
*Become what you want to attract and eventually that person will arrive.*

[BrainsApplied]

I feel this, every time again I wonder if this really is what I want and whether I'm really in love.

I feel like movies really messed up our idea of love and friendship. Or at least they make us expect so much of it.

[JaneyImaaniEmotionalAwareness]

Esther Perel talks about how we now want our spouses to provide what a whole village use to once provide. We want our spouses to be our best friends, inspiration, passionate lovers, sounding board etc.

It’s impossible for one person to be all these things.

[stingersplashentertainment]

Spending every single second together would drive anyone crazy.

[kalykalypso]

Not expecting anything from anyone is how I manage my happiness.

[NEONIFYY]

Love will come when you least expect it. Love will leave when you least expect it, too. As someone in a long distance relationship, I can firmly say that everything in this video is true in my opinion. When you expect less, you value more. Love isn't about dependence, it is about trust.

[alfhesback]

interdependence is the goal. having a fulfilling life outside of your relationship will prevent dependence, jealousy, and battles for control. balance loving yourself, loving your partner, and loving your relationship, as they each demand their own considerations.

[beckwilde]

In my relationship, We have our own friends, own hobbies, studies and life. It is still a struggle for me to wrap my head around the fact that i am only a new addition to his life and not the centre of his life. It’s a more mature relationship this time, something I’m not used to but I’m here for it, and will continue to remain content that we have our own individualism. I still have my days where I expect a lot more romanticism from him and those days are hard

[brayajm]

I had this type of relationship with my ex and it was one of the healthiest relationships we both ever had. Unfortunately, she was still wrapped up in the "fairy tale romance" movies and media portray and left me for someone else. She only knew them for two weeks before deciding she wanted to leave me for them because they also got their ideas of relationships from the media so in her eyes that meant they were "the one" and I was a cold cynic who didn't understand how love actually worked. The relationship between them lasted only 5 months before she tried to come crawling back to me. The media has really messed up a lot of people's ideas of love and relationships.

[broo]

I love watching these videos, I find them calming but I hate when they point out mistakes I've made in the past because I'm like damn.. I feel personally attacked 😂😂

[pgexczw]

“We never love anyone. What we love is the idea we have of someone. It's our own concept—our own selves—that we love.”
― Fernando Pessoa, TBOD

[bighiu-tofanchris]

Love yourself and you will be able to offer love as well. Love comes from inside. If you cannot feel love, everybody could love you, but you would still feel unloved and lonely.

[ritiktiwari]

My wise uncle always told me "love yourself" take life as a Drama don't take it seriously. There is no such thing as falling for someone it only works in movies." Fall in love with yourself, share the joy with the World". This video talks about exact same thing "fall in love with yourself- share the joy without much bondage with your partner". Thank you very much for this view.