What Dating Apps Misunderstand About Love

Dating apps have given us so many opportunities to find partners - but they haven't made it any easier for us to secure and build up true love. Here is a guide to how we might approach them with the necessary care.

FURTHER READING

“For most of human history, relationships were relatively simple for a banal yet immovable reason: it was extremely hard to meet anyone acceptable – and everyone knew it. There were only a few people in the village, travel was expensive and social occasions few and far between. This had many drawbacks: it encouraged people to accept offers from suitors they were unconvinced by, it meant that characters who would have delighted each other died lonely and unfulfilled because there were a few mountains or a river between them…”
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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Deanca Rensyta

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[MKPAK]

Modern dating has become a competition to see who's allowed to care the least and get away with it.

[Icipher]

Dating apps aren’t in the business of love, they’re in the business of addiction. Helping people find love would mean them leaving the platform, which would be bad for business. Keeping them hooked on the thrill of the next swipe or message keeps them around, so designing an algorithm that keeps people swiping but which does not create lasting connections is in their interest.

[snave]

The apps don't misunderstand a thing.
They aren't trying help people find love; they're trying to make money
The users of the apps are the ones who misunderstand

[ArvinAsh]

"...almost everyone is a charming prospect so long as we know NOTHING about them!" -- classic line that everyone should keep in mind when your eyes start to wander. One of the best and most relevant videos about online dating I've seen. Bravo.

[Elvis_TheKing]

The trouble with dating apps (from what I can gather) is that people have become a disposable asset.

[Bendilin]

It's not the dating apps that misunderstand it, they understand it VERY well. It's how they make help manipulate their users into coming back. It's the dating apps' users who are struggling to understand love.

[ryltair]

My personal experience with dating apps has been nothing short of an unmitigated disaster. Everytime someone suggests I try a dating app, I lose two months of my life.

[rbnsyjy]

Most people mistake lust for love. Love is not chemicals, lust, etc... it is a long term ever changing and adapting, commitment of honesty, trust, and empathy for your partner.

[paulycoleman]

Dating apps have destroyed this generation’s relationship building skills. Because the second things go south they just hopped right back on those sites and can find a replacement very easily

[cynicsage]

"Almost everyone is a charming prospect, so long as we know nothing about them"

[SofronPolitis]

Tinder is the McDonald's of human relationships.

[ayy]

Please, dont ever stop making videos. Those of us with corrupt youths, parents, lives etc need you. Thank you for all you do.

[Lilacleaf]

I dont use dating apps because I'd rather meet somebody organically but this was certainly food for thought. Being single and a little older now feels like more of a minefield than it did when I was younger and though I'm not looking to be swept off my feet I have to be honest, it feels very difficult to just meet people in general because of this online existence we are all living.

[thedano]

I chose and stayed in relationships to "be OK", to just have someone to share experiences with and just feel good. I knew on a subconscious level that that wouldn't work, I was really unhappy and always saw disaster in the future. I've been single for 2.5 years now and still not ready...ive become more ok with that.

[tayzonday]

Technical note: Your audio here has a high pitched whine around 8kHz. It could easily be removed in post-production with software like Acon Digital Denoiser or Izotope RX. I have autistic hyperacusis (sound sensitivity) and it’s the main thing I hear 😊❤️.

[fribersson]

It also skews relationships from decent people towards toxic people, who present more attractive packaging and promises, without substance. It’s easier to ignore quality connections when they require more honesty, vulnerability and investment than someone who tells us what our ego wants to hear, in order to con us. Another great video, thank you!

[Leo-mrqz]

I think these type of apps took the fun out of being courted. It used to be that if someone found you attractive, physically and/or intellectually, then they asked you out. It gives spontaneity and vulnerability to the situation. Plus, excitement and joy to the upcoming encounter with that person. Being judged before even meeting someone seems neurotic a tad bit psychopathic to me. 🙃

[sidharthsharma]

Don't go on a dating app if you have even a little bit low self esteem. Dating apps can multiply your insecurities.

[ww]

Too much choice makes us unbelievably picky. To the point of looking for a certain amount of perfection that just doesn’t exist.

[minimalea]

Cause Im introvert I used to meet people only over the internet. My last relationship was my longest, also started over a dating app. Right after, I tried the same app again, met someone, but right after our first date, he ghostet me. I decided now to never use a dating app again. Honestly, i just want to concentrate on myself for now, but wish me luck for my next offline partner😀