10 Subtle Signs of Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder

In this video, I share 10 signs of Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder, keeping in mind that these are in addition to the DSM criteria for BPD which you can find below.

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About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. All content is for general information purposes only and does not replace a mental health care of consultation with a health professional.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.

#bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline

[charlysteenstevens]

I would call myself a quiet borderline. There are others very like me. We self-isolate because we know that the pain we feel inside is huge and that it would be a negative thing for people to deal with and that bothers us. So, we keep to ourselves. We don't want to negatively impact anyone's life.

[Anathariel]

1 - People pleasing ✅
2 - Passive/Agressive Behavior ✅
3 - Need for Perfection ✅ High standards for themselves
4 - Wearing Masks; being a chameleon ✅
5 - Flight/Freeze response; no fight ✅
6 - Being unlovable to them ✅Rejection is inevitable; pushing away until people leaves.
7 - Higher empathy ✅
8 - Taking things personally ✅
9 - Sensitivity to criticism ✅
10 - Submissive or Regressive behavior ✅

Well; and despite all this I still think i'm faking my problems. 😞

[Cowface]

Sometimes if you say you love them, and they feel they are unlovable, they reconcile this by just assuming that you’re lying

[JennyNobody]

“It’s a complete and utter failure, they might as well be dead” this made me laugh out loud. It’s ludicrous hearing someone else say that out loud when I’ve thought it so many times…

[sonjanaylor]

Some of these symptoms seem to me like adaptations to being victimized by narcissists, and some of them seem to be the adaptations of a high-functioning autistic person to pass as normal in society. I definitely can see where there could be ambiguity and overlap

[billyd]

BPD is also notoriously difficult to diagnose because of the overlapping commonalities with PTSD and C-PTSD. Because of this, some are given a diagnosis of BPD when actually they are dealing with trauma. Sexual assault and exposure to narcissistic toxicity in a relationship can also confuse the mix. Add onto this the fact that many clinicians simply don't have the experience or qualifications to make these diagnosis, and we can see that there are likely many people out there who are not diagnosed, and who are wrongly diagnosed. Bottom line, get multiple opinions.

[peebbeep]

I just want to start by saying I know for a fact I have quiet borderline.
I was hospitalized after a drug overdose and had to stay in a residential mental hospital for 9 months. This particular wing of the hospital was meant for girls with borderline personality. they used dialectical behavior therapy, taught us the skills, primary and secondary emotions and we practiced mindfulness all day.
I was only 16 at the time but i already knew I identified with everything I knew about BPD, and I assumed I had been officially diagnosed since I was there.
I realized pretty fast that the girls I was living with were explosive, unpredictable and really angry but they were also more extroverted confident and carefree. Honestly I was used to feeling alienated or different from everyone so I didn’t think too much of it, just that these girls were like nothing I’d seen before.
When I got out and started outpatient therapy I found out I wasn’t diagnosed with BPD, instead it said “Borderline traits and MDD” Im like 99% sure that’s because I didn’t act like the stereotypical, crazy, manipulative borderline-yet I still fit the diagnostic criteria?😮
I started seeing a new therapist recently and I brought up the fact that I think I have bpd because I was explaining some relationship stuff and she immediately cut me off and said “oh no you don’t seem like you have bpd” I said well, , we just met and I know there’s more than one way of presenting but she laughed and said there’s no way?
I’m tired of professionals making a salary I can only dream of and still holding so much stigma. It hurts so much every time someone acts like all borderlines are just female narcissists. Even when my mental health was the worst it’s ever been I never wanted to manipulate anyone:/ all I wanted was for my mom to hug me and say it’s okay. Im proud of you for being here-

[fionatonge]

So that’s a 10/10 for me, never had anyone try to convince me that they love me - they just leave. It’s incredibly hard to live like this all day everyday and sometimes it’s just mire peaceful to be alone

[Jennifer-bwku]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[sarakshik]

The criticism part is so relatable. I don't even actively do it, but my brain does interpret it in such a drastic way, that if someone were to tell me "red is not your color" I would never ever wear red again

[BrownGeorge-pwxo]

I was diagnosed with borderline 18 years ago as a teenage. Spent my whole life fighting borderline disorder. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[Leslie-yeis]

This video has blown me away, I've never heard anyone describe my traits, personality, behaviour and constant internal battle with fear and insecurity. It's quite an enlightenment.

[sunshinecompany]

I believe, underneath all NPD and BPD, the root of the problem is CPTSD.

[starr]

Sounds like me. Was raised by a single dad with a narcissistic step mom and abusive step siblings. Sexually abusive blood brother and step brother. Decided to try and do the healing alone because most therapists or psychologists will not understand the pain or trauma and diagnose me with depression .. it's sad :/ so little support some of us have

[casperinsight]

Quiet BPD, high functioning BPD ~ wow
5 out of 9 traits to diagnose, mimics OCD, narcissism, and severity.
1.BPD are supreme people pleasers for acceptance, approval and keep the peace.
2. Often overextended tb themselves to exhaustion
3. Passive aggressive, lash out at themselves, internalize
4. Driven to perfection, black & white, high achievers
5. Excessively harsh inner critic - how sad
6. Over apologize to release shame
7. Wear masks and become enmeshed in relationships
8. Intense moods
9. Hyper hypo arousal. Overactive amygdala, emotional processing center
Always cued up, fear response, freeze or flight response, deregulated state, dissociated, survival instinct, they withdraw,
10. Insecurity, feel fatally flawed and rejected, are possessive & jealous never feel lived, they don't believe you, prove it to them, they push you away, concerned how others perceive them
11. High empathy, gets emotionally deregulated and overwhelmed
12. Taking things personally, internalize others emotions, tone, gestures, interpreted as self blame for others reactions, pushing
13. Incredibly Self critical, sensitivity to criticism, drastically internalize tbe negative. Effective criticism is ineffective, hyperfocus on the negative, they think they are damaged. That one little criticism is the only thing they hear,
14. Submissive or regressive behaviour, they revert to childlike state or shift from adult to childlike state right before your eyes

[thomas.loyens]

I have quiet BPD and I’ve just been some of the hardest days of my life. I was already going through a deep depression with chronic suicidal ideation. Because of this and several other reasons I got extremely attached to my therapist. I started developing feelings for her and felt safe with her. She also struggled with installing boundaries, so that made it even more difficult and confusing. But it came to a point where she couldn’t handle my attachment anymore and cut off the appointments. I know she’s only human, and everyone has their limits. But it was devastating and I was in some of the most pain I ever endured. I almost killed myself. Luckily with the help of one of my best friends I pulled through. Never give up!

[vanitas]

People with these symptoms often suffered abuse and trauma as children that they have not dealt with. Everyone is a product of their environment. Recovery and learning healthier ways of relating is possible with awareness, effort, and support.

[gus]

I think I might have this disorder, but I see it as a gift, I have sublimated it into my love of philosophy, and these very strong emotions pull me in all sorts of directions and show me some fascinating insights into the human condition.

[GraveyardDoll]

Because of videos like this, I have to keep telling myself that I’m not doomed, I’m loveable, my emotions are really and valid no matter what or how intense, I’m not impossible to love even tho I believe I have BPD and have thought this for years, and that I can TRULY and purely love somebody and they can truly and purely love me and if I was to get this actual diagnosis, again, I’m not doomed and am worthy of love and can give love as well. I’m also very aware, starting therapy again and willing to do what it takes to not let this complete ruin me or anyone I love.

[maureenseel]

I was diagnosed with borderline a couple weeks ago. The interpreting other people's moods as negative, then taking it personally... oh dear. That's me. 😢 Growing up, it was a means of survival. My mom had borderline, poly-substance abuse... She didn't get help or therapy. Her moods were so volatile, you had to be ready for the switch/split at a moments notice.