INFJ - Challenges For Mentors / Teachers / Parents

1. Be patient with others
2. Learn through teaching

[kimberliebyington]

I think I've always been gifted at this

[keizaruthcorsiga]

So Very useful! I think having a one sided mentoring can be very draining and can cause depression in the long run. Thanks so much for this enlightenment.

[kaylinnb]

All of my relationships seem to be one-sided in the sense that I'm always willing to dig deep into who a person is as an individual, and no one seems interested in reciprocating that. So, when I mentor or counsel someone, they do get a lot out of it, but yep, I'm left drained. People like others being deeply interested in them & in helping them figure themselves & their dilemmas out, so naturally they can be drawn to an INFJ's style of helping.

But, then again, would we really even let someone go too deep into "who" we are? (More like what, as the abstract concept of self in a lot ways changes often.) I think it would take a lot of trust or reckless vulnerability for me to let someone in too much. It depends on how much trust has been built. My inner world is such a deep & abstracted mess, someone needs to be ready to try to understand a lot of hard to articulate things, ha. Most everyone runs the other direction or loses interest pretty quickly in my experience, or some better listening types put up with it but think I'm crazy, lol. The steady message is keep it normal, keep it surface, or at least shallow, & keep it factual/concrete. No wonder we feel tormented at times, ha. I need some dominant Ni, maybe auxiliary even, types in my personal life. I'm surrounded by sensors most of the time.

So, yeah, I don't let people counsel me often. I'm like, if you're not willing to dig in, just forget it. I'll manage on my own in that case, ha.

It can be quite lonely on this side of things, yet totally fulfilling when we actually successfully help someone. Even if that consists of months of telling them what the underlying problem is, them obviously not getting it or believing you, but then finally it clicks & you were right all along, ha. It just sometimes takes someone else longer to grasp what you saw more quickly.
I'm either counseling like that, or talking people off of proverbial ledges.

Thanks for your videos, Erik.