'If' by Rudyard Kipling (read by Tom O'Bedlam)

If you think the views expressed in this poem are admirable, you should consider what George Orwell said about Kipling:

Also you could listen to Roger Whittaker, "I Don't Believe In 'If' Anymore"

Kipling wrote this poem for his son John then aged 12. Later he pulled strings to get John into the Great War, and John was killed in 1915.

Later Kipling wrote this codicil about his son and all the other dead sons:
:
"If any question why we died, tell them, because our fathers lied".

Thus "If" does not represent Kipling's views.

WARNING. WHAT FOLLOWS IS BRITISH HUMOUR.
Some of my tastier friends from the underworld don't understand Kipling's archaic language, so I promised them a verse by verse translation. It should be read in parallel with the original.

Keep schtum: admit nothing: the watchword is Plausible Deniability - okay that's two watchwords - they can't just say it : at the end of the day they have to prove it and produce evidence. Remember that witnesses can be bought or frightened off. Just stay cool and alert, sleep with one eye open and watch your back.

Make like there's all the time in the world: eventually they'll run out of patience and make a mistake. If they tell lies about you and you can prove it, sue the bastards. Love your enemies because that really annoys them. Don't let on how smart you are. Pretend to be nice.

Don't waste time on ideas that don't work out, be the first to recognise a lost cause. Remember, when the ship sinks the rats survive but the Captain drowns. Just bail out leaving them holding the baby. Many conmen sport fancy names and titles, don't let that fool you. If they get to you, don't get mad: get even - become the biggest mistake they ever made.

When newspapers misquote you and print embarrassing pictures act like you haven't a care in the world. Get your wife to stand by you looking like butter wouldn't melt between her buttocks: promise her anything in exchange, you have convince her you're her best bet. Be nice to her, it won't be for long and it won't kill you. She might, though. Keep your chin up and brazen it out. Admit defeat to yourself before they have the guts to publish it. Pre-empt legal action by putting everything in your wife's name and filing for bankrupcy: nobody's going to sue you if you're broke. People forget quickly, soon you can open again in a different name even with the same stock in the same premises. Capitalism's a great system: you've just have to know the rules.

Sometimes, if you have nothing left to lose and can't pay your bills you might as well raise all the cash you can and put it all on a horse. It might win - romp home and save your bacon - if it doesn't then scarper, do a moonlight flit, make yourself scarce. Be prepared to keep a low profile until people to forget your face: plastic surgery will help.
If you're forced to take desperate measures and get caught South America is a safe bet, even if you robbed a train and coshed the engine driver. They change their governments more often than you change your socks, nobody will stay in power long enough to complete the paperwork to extradite you. If you're a real hard case you'll be the local hero and get all the skirt you can handle.

Do anything rather than bottle out, become a desperado - they don't really know how dangerous you could be - just get a wild look in your eye, talk weird as though you're about to flip your lid. It makes 'em think while they're picking their kids up from school, "Do I really want to upset this crazy guy?"

When you're doing okay it's a worth nurturing the knack of speaking in public, making a good impression without actually lying, or boasting or making promises you might be asked to keep. And cultivating influential friends in high places, Westminster, the Palace even, without alienating the plebs and riff-raff that you might need to do your dirty work; all the while maintaining a Teflon shell that deflects both criticism and flattery and makes you impervious to what people think. Never forget that the guy most likely to run off with your wife and all your cash is your best friend or business partner. .

The good news is that if you keep running as fast as you can you can stay ahead of the competition, which is like owning just about goddamn everything, but the bad news is that you can't ever stop running so it's of no real use to you. However the REALLY good news is that then I'll admit that you're masculine and that I am really your father: I'll even stop calling you a sissy, admit I fixed the DNA test and marry your mother.

[whit]

"If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too." FAVORITE LINE.

[BigBadBampa]

All men should read this to their sons at an early age.

[LeifGregersen]

I wrote my grade 12 final English Essay based on this poem and another work by Kipling, "The Man Who Would Be King". I was supposed to write about two full length books by one author, but I threw caution to the wind and wrote from the heart. I got high enough marks on that essay to squeeze into University and now I'm close to being a professional writer. Kipling inspires me to the depths of my soul, I even remember being in cub scouts and all our names were from the jungle book, god bless RK

[SpokenVerse]

"If" was written in 1895 when Kipling was 30 years old.
A few years later his son John was born. During World War I he pulled strings to get John into service - but John died at the Battle of Loos in September 1915, at age 18.
In Epitaphs of the War, 1919. he wrote, ""If any question why we died / Tell them that our fathers lied". He was older, sadder and wiser then.
The couplet was not meant to be an addition to the poem, the lines are shorter and the rhyme scheme is different

[ryanbonham]

Good sir, I could listen to you recite the yellow pages and I'd still have tears in my eyes. You have a voice that should be canonized and an auditory demeanor that seems to be the shoulder on which these lyrics lean. It's one thing to write poetry, but it's another thing entirely to speak it in a way that translates all of the intended emotion. Bravo.

[Whatsitallabaaat]

Kipling wrote this as life advice for his only son.  His son was killed in 1915 in the first world war, his body was never found. RIP

[marionmoore]

Thank You,
I remember my Dad reciting this
to me when I was young.
I was his Daughter.
RIP Dad.
😇🙏🏻❤️

[marcossatorukawanami]

One of my favorite poems is "If", of Rudyard Kipling, and today i heard Rudyard's voice for the first time. Thank you.

[haxr]

I discovered a lot of great authors thanks to you and it pushed me to know more about them. Now I'm able to hold great conversations with my literature teacher on my university in Poland, who specializes in English and French enlightment. I'm glad that you uploaded your readings, Tom. I would be glad if you keep up with your amazing work. Best regards - Oskar, long-time listener.

[MrSlone]

Dennis Hopper spoke the beginning lines in the movie "Apocalypse Now", "If you can keep your head when all about you-Are losing theirs and blaming it on you", when Captain Willard, Martin Sheen, got off the boat at Kurtz' stronghold. I never knew whence it came. Now I do.  

[manwithnonamemystic]

Evvvery single verse a ode to greatness and thought provoking, very, very deep.

[lousia]

I thought a bit, after reading what Orwell wrote about him on what you re writing:
"Kipling wrote this poem for his son John then aged 12. Later he pulled strings to get John into the Great War, and John was killed in 1915.

Later Kipling wrote this codicil about his son and all the other dead sons:
:
"If any question why we died, tell them, because our fathers lied".

Thus "If" does not represent Kipling's views."

And wondered if it 's bad or good that it doesn't. I think it's neither.

Because of the language he uses, the poem may mean different thing for each person that reads it.
So i don't care who wrote those principles by which i chose to TRY to live by, since i only liked them because they were already in me or maybe because i felt the need that they did.

Thank you very much for the very interesting info beside the poem itself.

[karent-s]

Tom O'Bedlam: Thank you very much indeed for the link to Orwell's Horizon article. A brilliant analysis of Kipling and of "good bad poetry" in general.

[glennsanders]

This is a piece of poetry that will teach the reader what life is all about. Rudyard Kipling has taught people a lesson that they can learn by. LISTEN and LEARN.

[Natashahoneypot]

It's the best reading. No background music just expressive vocal.

[jamailwalker]

love this poem I look forward to letting my son hear this when he's at teenager. if God of the universe keep me and my son around long enough or if it is God will. Thank you Mr. Kippling I will always admire and respect you for this one specific poem.

[Poopaloo]

I discovered 'If' when I was 10 and knew it would guide me in life. It has served me well. Tough time right now...needed to hear it.
Thank you for reading so beautifully.

[SpokenVerse]

@W5RAn Thank you, it's heartening to get such appreciation

[JamaicaSugar]

Anyone remember hearing Jim on Taxi recite this, along with She Walks In Beauty by Byron? Those are my fave scenes if his and this is a fantastic version! Love O'Bedlam's recitations! I'm picky when it comes to hearing poems and love this!

[beaulieu]

Isolation is not a bad thing, if you choose to be alone. It is where some of the best works are done. Man is made in the image of God. We can aspire to do great things with our lives. I sympathize with Kipling. To think of what experiences in his life enable him to write this poem is impressive. It tells me that I am not alone. I understand where he is coming from. He wrote it probably because he hopes others can relate, so as not to be alone.