Let's talk about HATE [CC English & Español] | Kati Morton

Hate is a reactionary response. No one thoughtfully responds with hate, right? Or at least most people don’t do that. And it’s because hate is protective in very much the same way anger is. I know I have talked about this a bit before, but anger is a secondary emotion. Meaning it comes out to protect us from the real way we feel and instead of allowing ourselves to feel how we really feel, we let anger run in and push everyone away so we feel safe again.
Now because hate is reactionary, and most likely a secondary or even tertiary emotion, it’s the easiest way out. That’s why I agree that hate is weak, because it’s easier to be rage filled or spew hate comments towards someone else rather than look inside ourselves and acknowledge what it is we are really feeling and validate that.
And so here’s my challenge. Notice when you want to spew hate or anger and instead of immediately allowing that to happen, take a minute. Consider what you are really feeling and why these protective emotions are coming to your aid. Is it because they have said something that reminded you of a hurt or trauma in your past? Is it because they have something you want, and you are uncomfortable with feelings of envy or jealousy? Perhaps it’s because you are having a really hard time and just don’t have anything nice going on in your mind. But whatever it is, instead of letting that hate feeling take over, choose to feel the real primary feeling. Try it out, seek to understand where it’s coming from and then respond thoughtfully.
Next, we could even look back on that last time we were really hateful towards someone else, and maybe write about how we could have handled it differently, taking the time to consider how we were really feeling or where that hate came from.

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy

MY BOOKS (in stores now)

ONLINE THERAPY

Join this channel to get access to perks:

YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS

PARTNERSHIP

PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[CarolynsRVLife]

The most mind blowing thing about being a YouTube creator is the amount of hate I get. It's mind-boggling that so many people would spend so much time, effort and energy to try to make me feel bad - or worst case- destroy me. Thank you for talking about this important topic. Yes, intellectually, I know that haters are hurt and weak, but it can be hard to let it go when bombarded with it every day. Maybe that's something you can talk about some day!! thanks for another really helpful video.

[MisterLen]

This should be mandatory viewing for all social media users!

[saakshisinsinwar]

I love and appreciate how you don’t categorise individuals who hate as ‘others’, we all experience anger and have the propensity to feel deep hatred towards a myriad of things. This is such a useful tool to turn inwards and do a check in when experiencing anger towards something. I specially like how simplified and broken down into small + simple steps this process can be! Thanks again, Kati🥰

[Lillie-mae.Edwards]

Yes! Process not perfection and notice what you are feeling. Nobody gains anything from hate. I found this interesting and I think it’s a defence thing because we don’t like how we feel. Anyways have a lovely day everyone 💗

[TheJoshSpeaks]

I loved this video Kati, I think when people turn to hate as their way of expressing their feelings, they're showing you that deep inside they need more loving support in their lives to help them learn how to show how they feel in a way that isn't hurtful but is helpful to the person they're talking to.

[an-chriventer]

Wow. What an amazing topic. It's like you are reading my mind!😆😁😝

[maycona]

I saw Gary’s video as well and thought it was really important. So well said: “we can’t fix something we don’t understand” learning why we feel things allow us to gain more control over our moods!!! Yes Kati! Love this, thank you!

[oshifish]

Thanks Kati for making this vid. I have been so stressed lately on social media. It seems there is so much anger and hate lately, much without merit. My take is many people are actually scared right now, for the environment, for rights, and other very scary things. I wish we could all bond together and be stronger than divide. One can wish and hope and only do our best to be positive.xx

[wlwcats]

Interesting video as always😭 I try to stay away from hate cause unlike healthy anger I feel like it just destroys you from the inside and it's almost always about the stupidest things too that won't matter in an hour love your videos💘

[jenroxx]

Kati, you are a breath of fresh air. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, It really helps.

[taylormiller]

Thank you Kati. Your videos always help me be more mindful of my emotions. I appreciate all that you do.

[jiriwiesner]

It is a weakness. I have never seen a moment in my life when it was not so. This video is pure gold. It is a recipe for becoming a conscious person. There is a lot of energy stored in those moments when we feel hate. A sensible person will want to tap into that energy source instead of behaving destructively.

[wesx]

Amazing video Kati!! We aren't really taught much about secondary emotions, and how we use those to cover the initial emotion. I will be sharing this video around!

[lmarodrigues]

I liked to say that I appreciate the way you say or explain things, concise and clear, without arrogance, I understood very well, in another video the concept of transfer, thank you for the knowledge you make available to everyone.

[EricBZink]

Awesome topic and share! Hate is something that is always great to be addressed of where it’s coming from.

[Brados]

I think you were bang on the money with everything you said Kati. I’ve spent the last 7 years digging myself out of a self hate filled roller coaster. Only in the last year and a bit has it actively been achievable through all the processes you explained. It takes so so long without anyone to help you. Thankyou for all your videos

[vivsgm]

Thank you for talking about this. I feel I could do better without spending some energy every day just staying away from what I call "dark clouds people" or simply haters. Sometimes It takes a lot of work for me to be more than functional and keep myself in a positive tune in, and wow does that work for me, I mean really need to set the tone for my own day, and it'll work, but I don't like to get other people's negativity raining on me. I truly walk away from them. I'm not about to let them cloud my sunshine attitude.

[ryandougherty]

What an incredible video, Kati! I think you are on to something here. And what you said really resonated with me and helped to put things into perspective. I visited a therapist last year and I've been exploring, recognizing and discovering my emotions. Lately I've been feeling a lot of anger and it's been taking over my life. I've always applied a Buddhist philosophy perspective to issues. But what you have said has really given me a new way to see things. How you said it clicked and I feel excited to take on this challenge and try to acknowledge my secondary or tertiary emotions and see how its masking my true emotions. I feel many can value from this insight, especially in today's age

[SLACArt]

You grazed on so many great topics! Vibrations you put into the universe, the word hate itself....this is a massive topic, and so much more. This video can totally be made into at 4 to 5 more! Love it!

[polinanikulina]

Such a great video!! I’m going to try my best to remember this one when a wave of self-hate hits again. Thank you for being here❤️