My fiance DIED and his sister wants half of my house… | Reddit Stories

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r/BestofRedditorUpdates - OOP's fiancé may pass away, but his sistermother (not a typo) is already calling dibs on half his house.

r/BestofRedditorUpdates - Friend lost out on a winning $1000 lotto ticket because of me, he's crying over money, and I don't feel guilty!

r/AmITheDevil - AITA for not sharing all of my inheritance with my husband after he has financially supported me for the last 6 years?

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Note: stories are often abbreviated, find the story at the top of the description

#redditstories #reddit #funnyredditposts

[cynthiaguzman]

With the inheritance story - they have separate accounts and joint accounts. She expresses that by saying that they both put into a shared savings account. The husband WANTS to be in control of all of the money - which is financial abuse and he makes that quite clear by saying, "you will leave me if you have that money". OP needs to keep that money and put it somewhere safe because that is raising so many red flags.

[bonnie]

Inheritance story: she didnt just give up her job because she was pregnant. They ALSO moved to be closer to the husband's family in an area that doesn't support her original skill set. So yes let her keep some of the money for herself. She is still putting a good chunk of said money into joint house savings as well.

[Candyraven]

The thing that really makes me uncomfortable about the money story is how he said something about her using the money to get away from him. Like why do you think she would want to get away from you? Would you want her to be forced to stay with you? Why would you want to trap someone you love? Overall I don't know how I feel about it but that statement gave me the ick big time

[lillyflower]

I think the husband is an AH because he’s trying to look for a reason for OP to not have an account. He flat out said he was worried that OP would try to leave him if she had an account. She’s more than made up for her budget overages. Everyone treats themselves when they get insurance money. Husband is being controlling af.

[PuertoRicanCreoleQueen]

37:15 So Op said she lost financial independence and it was hard so clearly OP’s husband was a stickler with his money, so she spent 3 years taking care of the house and baby and was sick of never having money to spend without strict regulations like a child, so she started working again but her husband makes 3x her income and they both put money in on the house goal but they both have a % of their own incomes for personal expenses and that means his personal % is 3x hers, and her small personal spending amount is small so she always goes over it, his is 3x bigger so he doesn’t, and he dictates all financial spending and saving. So her inheritance is her first time having actual money in 3 years after sacrificing her much higher income to be a stay at home mom, and having a financial dictator controlling everything. She off set her overage of spendings on the joint savings and now finally has some money to enjoy life a little.

Women always have to sacrifice once babies are born and unless marrying a man that is a true partner men always use money as control, and if the wife gets a job once tired of that the husbands always want to control the wife’s income as well and most times it happens.

[jodyhoo]

I was married for 30 years. We had separate accounts early in the marriage, but eventually once we bought a house everything was joint. Eventually I stayed home to raise the kids and manage the home while he supported us. FFWD 25 years I received an inheritance and put 50% in a personal account and 50% in joint, at hubby’s encouragement. He died only a few years later. I doubt I’ll ever find another man like him. He was proud to support our family and never judged my spending.

[EllyseaAndDolls]

I'm with Sophia on the inheritance/house story. Once again, the wife had to put her career in peril in order to have kids, and she never was able to recover her pre baby salary, so yeah, she can keep her inheritance. To easy for the husband to be financially safe and not the wife.

[hotflippinmess]

I'm seeing a financial abuse red flag on the husbands part in the 2nd to last story.

[gerrisorg]

I think it's ok for OP to keep her inheritance. She said that she was going to put one payout into the shares account and the other into her own account which is completely fine

[CircusoftheMoon]

There’s a surprising amount of SAHM moms that get shafted after they’ve popped out a couple of kids and the husband “provider” decides to move on. I think it would make sense for her to keep an account with that money or if she does give it all to the family she gets it returned if he decides to leave her.

[gladynina]

They're looking over the fact that the husband admits he's afraid her having financial freedom will allow her to leave the relationship. So he's been seeing their financial agreement as a way to keep her dependent on him. Huge red flag!!!!

[madelynwallh]

His children is his nearest relatives.
And if he was adopted on paper she, the mother, is just a sister.

[kibasays]

About the inheritance story - what I find troublesome is what the husband said about being “afraid she’s leaving the relationship” is she has her own account. Maybe it’s just a fear and those two are really good about communicating those things, but it gives me reason to worry that he’s controlling in a bad way. Like, if he bases his sense of security in the relationship on having all the financial control and her having no financial independence ~ that’s not a good situation, people end up trapped in abusive relationships exactly this way (being financially unable to leave). 🤷‍♀️

I’m pretty well in favor of inheritances (incl and maybe even especially life insurance) NOT being marital property. I totally understand wanting to decide together (not just him but together) what to do with the funds, but he doesn’t have to personally have access to the money in order for her to use it towards the benefit of the family.

Now if she had a history of addiction, especially shopping or gambling, his position becomes a lot more understandable.

[I_Say_Nae]

She mentioned that he controls the finances. It sounds like it isn’t so much an agreement. It sounds like he often gets after her spending because it isn’t in the limits he set. I don’t think she would want the inheritance in a separate account if she felt like she would have a say in how the inheritance was spent/saved in the joint accounts. They need to have a better, mutual agreement on how their money is saved/spent.

[gini]

I agree with Sam about sharing finances. However, the worst thing about that whole story for me is worrying about money when she recently lost a loved one. I find it so insensitive! :(

[girlictoast]

the big issue for me with the inheritance money, the husband said her having a separate account makes him feel like she's going to leave him. That comes off as him wanting to keep financial control over her and the relationship, no financial agency for her. I wish they had picked up on that. And you can't equate it to winning the lottery, that was kind of a rough take. Her parents would want her to have full control over how it was used.

[Muggins]

To be fair the sister/mother probably has a wide range of mental problems. No one gets pregnant at 13 without some kind of neglect and/or abuse happening

[chachiem]

But inheritance and insurance money due to a death isn't the same as winning the lottery. Inheritance isn't a marital asset in many places. When my mom died, i got insurance. I used it to pay for her funeral expenses. It wasn't a marital asset at all.

[psychnursemom]

Marital finances story: I had shared finances with my first husband. Our divorce included having to file for bankruptcy. So when I remarried, I insisted on a prenup keeping our finances separate. We have a joint account for shared expenses and do help each other when needed. But I'll never be comfortable not having some financial independence of my own.

[michaelpierce]

The inheritance story with the couple ( don't remember what number story it was) his comments are HUGE red flags. He's worried if she has her own account she's going to leave?!?! What type of a monster is he that she would want to leave just cause she got money? She obviously loves him. She's put herself in a very bad situation for her if he ever decides to leave. She has no savings. He can drain everything out of the joint account and go. ( She can too). He's also basically saying she's not responsible with money so she shouldn't have control over any. It's her money. It's an inheritance to her and most states have protection for inheritances that they're not considered communal property but the property of the person who inherited the money or property. Often they're not even split in divorce. If I were her I would put her money in an account just for her with her children being the beneficiaries if she dies. But HUGE red flags from the husband. Run OP!