What I Wish People Know After My Husband Died | Terri Budek | TEDxCentennialCollegeToronto

[brandonsmith]

I lost my girlfriend, and mother of my 9 month old daughter, a couple weeks ago. She was only 28. It's so hard to deal with the grief. Nobody told me it was going to get harder as the days pass by. I feel bad for anyone that's dealing with the loss of their lover. The world feels so empty now.

[charlenerivera]

I lost my husband 6 months ago due to covid. He gave his life as a nurse in an Emergency room taking care of people during this pandemic.

[kathiburns]

Thank you. I lost my husband, Larry to an auto accident almost 18 months ago. He was the love of my life, my best friend. I like to talk about him but the kids seem to have trouble with that. I talk to him when I'm alone. I feel him with me. He will never be forgotten.

[steffenrasmussen]

I lost my wife 8 days ago, I am 32 and she was 36. I never saw it coming, no warning or nothing. A fatal heart attack, like a lightning strike from a clear sky. Right now it feels impossible that anything will ever be okay again. Thank you for this video, I don’t think I ever want to stop talking about her.

[carmennemura]

What a great talk. Lost my husband, brother and dad in the span of 22 months. Grief hits you when you least expect it. Is ok to cry and honor yourself when you are having a bad day! Thank You!

[etchutabe]

I lost my mum five years ago, today I was at the mall and I saw a lady walk pass me and she looked so much like my mum, I froze still starring at her for more than 5 mins resisting the urge to walk up to her and request for a hug, rushed to the bathroom and cried my eyes out .I miss my mum so much, the pain just never seems to go away .

[spezia]

Lost my 23 year old daughter 10 years ago, I think of her every second, I'm still struggling with constant aching pain.

[YM-matcha]

When you realize the person you loved so much isn’t here in the world anymore, you start to think about the past and how much value the time you spent with them had. It’s easy for us to take every second of our lives with them for granted whereas hard to appreciate the time with them.

[kathleengrant]

You were strong. When my Dave died. I fell apart, at age 28 with three small children, before the internet. 30 years have gone by. Those three kids are 40, 32 and 28, and I'm still grieving. We absolutely do need to start talking about death instead of being so afraid of it that we can't comfort each other. After 30 years, no one cares as much as we do, and everyone is still afraid to talk about it.

[douglaswerts]

The best response I had when my soulmate died was ‘I don’t know what to say’, then gave me a warm hug and said nothing more. That’s it. There really is no need for people to worry about not knowing what to say. A hug, a light touch on the arm says more than words. NEVER say easy, glib platitudes.

[bevadiva]

My Dave died almost 10 years ago. The things you've said here are so very true. "If you need anything" only lasts so long. When "they" quit coming by, quit calling, that when I needed everything.

[melissawittman]

Thank you. My husband died 4 years ago. I still have days that I cry. One thing that sticks in my mind is when I went to the Social Security office to provide a copy of the death certificate; to inform them of his death. The first words out of the mouth of the worker was, "you're too young to receive widow's benefits". After the initial shock, I stated that I was only there to inform them of the death. Then I was just angry. Now, still "too young" to receive benefits, I wonder who made that rule? Our youngest was 20 when my husband died. You are so strong. I am just now able to talk about him without crying constantly. It's still hard. He will always be my best friend and confidant. I just miss him.

[aprilblake]

I miss my husband so much hes been gone 2 mts I love talking about him and remembering his talent as a musician. He could play the most beautiful music on his guitar, that's part of why I fell in love with him. I hate cancer

[maryanncampbell]

I was 35 and my husband was 33. My kids were 10 and 12. He died instantly in a motorcycle accident. That was 16 years 5 months ago. I wish I had more stories like this when it happened for me. I’m remarried and happy but a day doesn’t go by that I don’t miss him and think of him.

[jillgoldstein]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am a covid widow with 3 children and I can honestly say you hit the nail on the head. People really don't know what to say. I talk about my late husband all the time and so do my kids. I know he is gone but we had 28 years together and I can't just stop talking about him because that would mean I can't talk about anything in my past.
You must be a GREAT mom.

[marilynmanord]

I lost my perfect, sweet, loving husband due to cancer. I miss him every single day. Yes he matters and he still matters. RIP Frankie always and always missed until I see you again.

[karenrich]

I lost my David 6 years ago. I joined a bereavement group that is a big help. Yes, talk about your husband. Get your husband's friends to talk and write about him. That way, your children will learn more about him.
Finally, a hug always fits. A friend told me it gets a little easier every day, but it never completely goes away.

[sarahziemke]

I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm so grateful to watch this. My husband of twenty years, suddenly died from kidney failure and heart failure. He couldn't breath alone. His diabetes had been neglected or maybe in denial with all of us. But he wasn't ready to quit some bad habits, like many sugar sodas per day. He was sneaking cigarettes, and wasn't excersizing. And those things kept adding more and more issues to his failing health. January 9th, 2021, at 9:38 p.m., they took him off life support. As I write my story, I'm a mess. I lost my beloved father to his suicide when I was just 16. I thought that would be the hardest time ever I would face.
And for years, it was.
But when my soulmate, Jeff, passed just over two months ago, it was unlike any loss I've faced and in an entirely different way. I'd spent everyday, and night with Jeff, and everyday is still heartbreaking. One day, I will barely make it through the day without falling apart, but they're difficult to do. While other days, it's hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute. I miss his presence! His void is unfillable. He is irreplaceable. I have so much that I hear, and immediately wanna share with Jeff. But I have no way to tell him about something we shared interest in, and I just can't share details of what I heard. It hurts so much, I feel as though the pain will never cease.
I know time will ease my pain. But I'm sleeping in our huge king-size bed, alone, with our fur-baby. That's my piece of comfort.
I hope to get to where you are with your emotions and can keep him alive with our memories.
Thank you.

[rhondamadgirl]

I just lost my husband two weeks ago, after a long, long illness. The grief is fresh.

[cutch]

Loss my husband 11 months ago. He was 53. Came home from work. We were chatting and kidding with each other. He had a massive heart attacks. I did cpr. They worked on him forever, almost an hour. He never responded. I still am walking around in disbelief he's not here. Love and hugs to all here.