We’re only human. #mommacusses ##parenting #responsiveparenting #gentleparenting

[Sustainabledoula]

“My child is not giving me a hard time. They are having a hard time.”
Something I have to repeat a lot

[Lemana]

The "sorry" mostly is the most important thing. You sometimes hurt people, that is part of being a human. But you have to deal with the aftermath and repair the damages

[rayw.]

“What is better: to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?” - Parthurnaax

One of my favorite quotes from a video game.

[heartworkbykitty]

This further reinforces my thought that hitting your kids is more about releasing anger than actually disciplining the child. It’s a way to excuse and justify a parents lack of self control and effort. It’s easy to slap your kid. It takes patience, wisdom, emotional intelligence and great self control to take the time to calm down and explain to them thoroughly why what they are doing is not ok. Even if it’s the millionth time
Baby doesn’t walk perfectly after taking two steps ….

This is why I am not a mom and I got surgically sterilized

I am too selfish for a child
I’ve struggled with my mental health
I don’t have the financial security
I have poor impulse control and most of these are by products of the very same cycle of abuse that I know i would perpetrate because it would come naturally to me. It’s all I ever knew.

I refuse to continue it







Plus I hate kids
Lol





Hitting your kids is wrong
I don’t care if your parents beat you and you think you “turned out fine”(heard that bs from the most emotionally stunted people)
It’s not ok when there’s another more gentle way that will result in a more well adjusted and emotionally intelligent species.
If you’re going to multiply,
It becomes your responsibility and duty to DO BETTER


Props

[D.ONeill]

YES! THIS! My therapist calls this my Voldemort. My father was awful. Very. Having that in the back of my head is hard. BUT the fact that I KNOW and CARE about it means I'm doing something right (not everything, but something). If I didn't CARE to fight it...THAT is where the problem would be.

[RoxyLegs]

Thank you!!!! Spanking didn't stop me from anything. It broke any relationship I could have had with my parents. I just got better at subversion. I never want that for my kids.

[luvykori]

when I was younger, my punishments were commenced through spankings, and that really didn’t teach me anything. It made me afraid of my parents, and it didn’t change my mindset or teach me about the things I did wrong.

[kennaj]

Being able to say “i’m sorry” to your child is so important

[anniejayy]

Preach Momma 🙌 I was raised getting spankings and vowed I would never do that to my kids. Now that I have a son, I’ve stayed true to my word. But she’s right, it is default programming that makes it jump to the fore of your mind. When it gets to heated, EVERYONE gets a time out, even me, so there’s space to cool down and refocus.

[angelamae]

I like that... "I'm winning more than I'm losing.."

[caryn]

Nobody's perfect...and you refusing enforcing the illusion that you are perfect to your kids is honestly such a great lesson to them. Your best is enough

[theonlyvampirateable]

This just made me feel so seen and understood. I'm a single, autistic mother with many mental illnesses, my son is autistic with ADHD and anxiety. We both have bad days and sometimes have bad days together. There's always a part of me that just wants to scream at him. But I always manage to calm myself down first and help him calm down. It's hard, but it's all I can do

[mamabear]

Thank👏You👏For👏 Your👏Transparency👏
You are such an encouragement to me!
❤- Mom of 4 in Texas

[damnitnanet]

I have a lot of older clients that have that “well I turned out fine” mentality so I politely remind them that their generation was repressed in so many ways that they learned to cope in order to be fine. Instead of empathizing, they ordered their kids to “be quiet and be still” for the most part. An accessory to fill a milestone for them because their parents “had” that. The world allowed it then. Now there are more options and a lot more love.

Being told to shut up, go along with their expectations and not “act out” (basically anything that wasn’t what they wanted me to be doing) all followed by spankings, whipping when they were mad enough - (because of me or most of the time it was other stress and I added to it that day), made me hide the majority of myself from my parents, even the good parts. They never found out I tried a few drugs, figured out quickly they weren’t for me and put my energies into acting/singing, getting into wedding planning and wanting to create a space for LGBTIQCAPGNGFNBA people to have community for support. Unfortunately, because of how I grew up, I don’t care if they ever know.

[puffball]

its wierd that this popped up for me today specificly cuz i accidently burned her new pan (it was 4000 pesos and now going on 8000) and she was so fricking mad she agressively putting stuff away to the point i kinda flinched cuz i didnt want anything to break. My mom took a nap and i took advantage and started cleaning the house cuz that was my original plan for the day and when she got up cuz she had to go to work she kinda just looked at me and said 'im so sorry' she was so remorsefull cuz she is so SO terrified of being like my nona (her mom would beat her to a pulp and abused her emotionaly and fisicly since she was little) and i got real sad cuz i told her that she shoudnt be sorry and that she had all right to be pissed.
My mom is far from perfect but i love her and always get so sad thinking of the amount of abuse she had to go thrue and how she didnt end up like her parents is something that confuses but makes me so y cuz that means i have a bada** mama who cut off the cicle of abuse :)

[sophieyoung]

“I know better so I can do better” SAY IT LOUDER. This is probably the best thing I’ve heard in my entire life.

[tlaoltjenbruns]

I'm super proud of you for acknowledging that! I think physical "discipline" was a childhood norm for most people aged 20+ (the younger members may not have received it personally or didn't get it often, but it was still a thing on their radar).

The fact that putting your hands on your child is in your brain at all shows how often it happened to you and/or your This is something that needs to be rewritten in our brains and never put in our children's brains. You can discipline your child without physically or psychologically harming them. It's called 🌈 communication 🌈

[psleep]

I completely relate. I was raised by grandparents born in Appalachia in the 1910’s. Yeah so spanking or getting the shi$ beat out of me was normal. When I had my daughter the thought crossed my mind more than once but I didn’t. Like you, I had to take a break, think logically for a second, have a discussion if appropriate and act. Parenting is so hard and people can be so judgmental. I really love your style. WHERE IN THE HELL WERE YOU IN 1994???😆😂❤️🌹🙌🙏

[elkandmonty]

My mother could never say sorry.

I have c-PTSD, and frankly I just wish I had parents that actually supported me as a child rather than exacerbate the problems

[annajohnson]

You have no idea the impact you have had on my heart. I became a mom at 19 have a 6&2 year old. I’m a gentle parent and my partner is an aggressive parent. It’s been so hard but you have given me the beauty of seeing things from a different perspective such as your own and continue to give me the courage to be resilient and trust my parent intuition