Does the Narcissist Regret?

Does the narcissist regret what they have done? Do they regret that have lost you or that you have moved on without them? Do they regret what they lost?

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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.

Platforms I am on:

#narcissism #narcissist #npd

[soniar]

Psychotherapist, T. Knoll, questioned about treating narcissists for npd : What have you learnt giving therapy to narcissists? "Narcissists are so sad. I know that there is one recent compelling study indicating that narcissists are happier than other people; however, I have not experienced this to be true as a therapist. Perhaps, the research indicating that narcissists are happy is based upon self-report. Consequently, this would make the research unreliable.

I have found that narcissists lie to themselves and others all the time. Their perception of reality is almost always skewed. This is because narcissists will do anything to justify their abusive behavior. Therefore, dishonesty is their modus operandi. To avoid self-loathing, they deny who they really are until it’s too late.

Narcissists I have treated, are all stuck on past intimate partners. Narcissists are always trying to work out their relationship failures in their own toxic ways (i.e. gaslighting, ghosting, addiction, workaholism). In my observation, it is almost impossible for them to move on from ANY source of supply by healthy means.

They are always haunted by someone. Whether the partner was primary, secondary, or tertiary is somewhat inconsequential. Their grandiosity won’t allow them to contact former intimates to gain closure, especially after many unsuccessful attempts at having a normal relationship (hoovers). They’re very dysfunctional.

I’m often working with narcissists on regret for having pushed former supply away. They become mindful that their behavior was unforgivable, and that they cannot return. They are disgusted that their impulsivity has led to the loss of one great human being after another (supply).

I have spent countless hours counseling narcissists because of their debilitating pride. Troubleshooting is our primary task. We explore how to let go of others, but the outcomes are disheartening. Their possessiveness doesn’t allow them to heal. Suicide, is not uncommon when a narcissist starts to grieve all the people whom they have lost because of their misbehavior.

Contrary to popular belief, many studies in the last decade indicate that NPD is associated with suicide (Peters, 2016). Don’t assume that if you are not getting a hoover, they’re not thinking about you. On the contrary, you are probably the foremost thing on their mind as they suffer from misconceived choices.

Victims, if you knew what psychoanalysts knew about narcissists, you would sleep like a baby. You’d truly know, that what comes around, goes around for these people. They’re often in a state of complicated grief, just because of who they are…

No contact is such sweet, sweet revenge. You get to go on, they almost never do."

Psychotherapist, T. Knoll, questioned about treating narcissists for npd : What have you learnt giving therapy to narcissists?

[leapsill]

My ex narcissist told me that I was the full package just recently. We’ve been broken up for a year. I truly think he regrets losing me but only because nobody else will put up with him!! He hasn’t been able to keep anyone for any length of time now. He is getting older and he’s dealing with older women who see the red flags quicker. It’s not about me, it’s just because he can’t find anyone to cater to him the way I did. No more though!!!

[jackidezell]

Mine used to say you think you're perfect... I was like WHAT?! I now understand he was projecting how he thought of himself. Mine could admit he was wrong to a degree over time but then would back track when angry.

[bobhope]

No. They don't care about anything but themself. If they needed something, they went for it. If they hurt someone and they won't give them supply anymore, they will turn to a new target who hasn't caught on yet, but can provide that supply.

[brianmurphy]

They regret being caught out. And they hate you for catching them out. And who's going to pay when they get caught out? RUN!

[amostaylor]

The answer is NO! Period! Stop sugar coating! The accountability Factor is way too high for a narc! A Narc can NEVER be held accountable for Anything!! Believe That!

[tickety-bootoyou]

You're too kind. But let's be clear, the answer is "No", they did not love you nor do they miss you nor regret ANYTHING!

[jannlewandowski]

The love bombing was unreal! We were each others FIRST LOVE. We talked about not ever feeling this way about anyone before. UGH! If I only knew the truth..We got engaged in about a year later. He never wanted to plan the venue, find a home for us, etc...5 years later I left him. This was his FUTURE FAKING...I left him and I kept the ring. He rebounded & married 2 weeks later. Do you know how I felt???? Thought I would die...it took me over a year of Therapy and took me over a year to get over it. I've had it with narcs, and if he ever came around, or if I ran into him accidentally, I would IGNORE him...

[confusedwhynot]

I wish he cared, but the truth is he doesn't. He believes he was everything and that he did everything for me. Yet he blamed be for everything. He couldn't remember a conversation we had 15 minutes before, but could remember what was said ten years ago. He always had an excuse for not remembering our conversations. He always put me off for others and his wants. I never felt like I mattered. He didn't make our children feel like they mattered.

[lovesakitas]

I understand about narcissism and shame. Their reactions are defensive. They cannot admit they were wrong. It is a cover for their shame. It is from the vantage point that I have dealt with narcissists all of my life. They have never destroyed me because I haven’t let them IN. For those who have lived a narcissist, be it mother or lover, I believe we neuro typicals must sense this in narcissists… it is like they are child-like, so we try to “love away” their hurt. But I also know that trying to do this FOR THEM doesn’t work. And it is excruciatingly painful.

[greylizard]

It's a sad situation because narcissists often meet people who are highly empathic and really do want to help them heal. Lord knows we have the strength. Instead they just want to use empaths and don't care if they hurt us. Trying to heal a narcissist is as pointless as trying to bring a wounded starving lion back to health with vegetables. You will be destroyed, then they will use that energy that you gave them to hunt down someone else. They don't want us for love, they want us for fuel.

[Beanp]

This is one of the most honest videos I found. No regrets, no guilt, no conscience, no memories, no repentance to the very end, no matter how big or small their crimes. I'm glad that you didn't do much worse than cheating, and you are managing to admit to your disorder. Wishing you a smooth journey towards becoming healthy. I realize that the wiring is simply different. There's no what I would consider "human decency", ability to feel bad for doing something awful to another. He would NEVER apologize for something really awful, like stealing hundreds and thousands of (he's really greedy), but says "sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, like crazy over the tiniest thing that no one gets upset over, like spilling a drink. He would also rage and scream and go bezerk if someone spills a drink. How do you rewire yourself to "feel" sorry? It's genetically inherited too, I see the same traits in his family. They follow the motto "Do What Thou Wilt", this rule above all.

[ladydragonrider]

It builds with age. They are full of shame, guilt, and regret. They don't have remorse, not regret. In the end it kills them. They either end up dead on drugs or in prison without therapy.

Yeah, it couldn't come out and say it because you've never had any therapy about the roots of your childhood trauma. But once they're on drugs, they're dead. The walking dead.

[beth]

My narc ex agreed to get help, always said he felt so ashamed of his actions and regretted them but then his behaviour never changed. He set up a drs appointment and I told him to tell the Dr he wanted a referral to the psychiatrist for an NPD diagnosis, he left the drs office without that referral, when I asked why? He avoided telling me what was said, when I pressed him to tell me he got angry at me and lied to me. it eventually came out that he had said to the dr "my ex gf things I've got npd" and the dr basically said "yeah shes probably just saying that because you guys broke up" ... and he ALLOWED that narrative despite having abused me for the past year LMAO after I got understandably upset, he rang them back and demanded the referral which he got but ... they just can't be trusted. Any opportunity they'll lie to make themselves look good.

[Elsiek]

My ex narc said he regretted marrying me- said I tricked him. Umm 🤔 project much ?!? Regret is not the same as remorse. He has had no remorse for lying and cheating on me for 2 decades. Complete entitlement. That’s how he was raised. He only regretting getting caught

[caseylee]

I agree. They don’t regret or feel remorse. Because what they did served the purpose for themselves at the moment which is what they live for. Why would they regret? Other people’s pain and suffering have no place in their world.

[star]

That’s why they end up on their own in life.

[still_standing]

Yes, my X always said Stop trying to guilt me...

[nettom]

The Answer Is No. Their just great at pretending \ convincing you they do...

[ladydragonrider]

I'll try to clarify about remorse and regret. All narcissists will have regret, but rarely will they ever have remorse. They will regret that they failed at being a narcissist. They will not regret anything they did to others, except that they failed at killing you. They may even come back, many years later - they will come back when they hit rock bottom- bread crumbing, love bombing, with a sincere offer to get you to come back. But, it is not for you in any capacity.

Its like this. Satan has their soul and wants yours too. They want to drag you down into their negative energy, straight to hell. If the narc fails to take your soul, Satan is pissed. Satans deal then becomes, either you get me the soul I asked for, or Im taking you straight to hell right now for eternity. So they come back with regret only that they failed the first time. Believe me when I tell you, there are many people in hiding from people trying to kill them. Many. An epidemic of many....

They have zero remorse - remorse for your feelings or what they did to you. In their eyes, you are an object to be used and you dont possess any feelings or emotions. They have a God complex. Far greater than your run of the mill obvious grandiose narc. You know. The ones who send you pics of their muscles and other body parts....and pics of everything they own to impress you. Screw that. Those are low level jokers.

Satan will never come to you dressed like Satan. He will come dressed as everything you think you ever wanted. He is full of straight out of the box love bombing - or aggressively challenges you to argue with them. They will do everything. Compliment, make fun of you, insult with sarcasm, shame, belittle, accuse, blame, deflect, project and tell you everything that you are and how you think.

The key is to never allow it. Do not answer questions about you. Do not fall for cracker jack compliments. Do not do anything youre asked to do. Do not shut up when they tell you that youre controlling the conversation. And most of all, do not permit anyone to tell you what they think about you. Like, a comparison. Youre just like all other women - you think you know everything- youre not a nice person- you think youre so smart.

That my friends is called projection. This narc is projecting their thoughts onto you, and they only met you 5 minutes ago. What this dumb ass narc cant see is : All their accusations are confessions, about themselves. Their insecurities: their hang ups and traumas. Say the one word they never learned. NO. Then walk away and never have any contact again. That is a dangerous narc with no empathy, no heart, no soul. Just and empty meat suit. A 5 yr old in an adult suit with mommy splitting issues.

The only personality types that have no remorse are sociopaths and psychopaths. Narcs can become both as they age out as the encompass various other disorders in the cluster Bs, most notably borderline, bipolar, and anti social.

But now, we also must bring into the spectrum the ones weve missed. Those with autism and aspergers. Both of these have mastered the art life long of toxic manipulation and cold empathy.

As for me, I say : If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck ...its a fucking duck.
Always always trust your gut. Your gut will NEVER lie to you.